Change..

**BackDoorMan** · 11-07-2009, 11:45 PM

So, for the past few days, I've been thinking about making some changes in my life. i'm not what you'd call atisfied by the reults so far.. and often wishing I had what others had... you know what I mean?

For the past few months, i've had a blast... but alot of things have gone wrong.. and i've seen alot of opportunities pass by... and i'm at a point in my life now, where I have a chance to turn things around, and get on-top of my shit, and I don't want this to be one of those "shoulda, coulda" moments in my life...

My problem is, when I'm high, i'm completely different... sober, I have hopes and dreams.. and have ample motivation to accomplish them... but i'm also some-what temper mental and high strung.. less tolerant...

When i'm high, i'm relaxed and easy going... you could shit in my cheerios and i'd just be like "aw dude.. come on man, what tha fuck? Really?"

I'm just so relaxed.. that I don't wanna do shit... I get fuckin lazy... I don't wanna go anywhere.. I don't wanna be bothered..... and become very anti-social... but my mind doesn't race near a bad... but I tend to space out from time to time..

I love getting high.. but I don't think I want to live mylife thru bloodshot eye's forever... I mean, yeah.. some people can do it and become successful.. but obviously I can't.. atleast for right now anyway..

I'm just not sure I can do it.. I done it before, for a few months.. but that sucked the whole time.. and as soon as I got the chance, I didn't even hesitate...

The problem is that i'm bored.. there's not shit to do... not here in this shitty ass town i'm in... from cali to this?..lol..

So how do I do this? I mean.. what are some of the things you do to keep your mind off of it? Maybe I should start an exercise regimen.. I been wanting to get in shape.. lose some extra weight thats grown fond of me.. just find things to pre-occupy my mind and my time... there's just not much to do "Down on the farm"

**timsatx1** · 11-07-2009, 11:50 PM

grow bud. keep your mind on that. and if you do already then its time you stopped smo0kin and get a life.

**newb101** · 11-07-2009, 11:51 PM

you talkin bout what to do to get your mind off smokin?

**timsatx1** · 11-07-2009, 11:52 PM

Originally Posted by newb101

you talkin bout what to do to get your mind off smokin?

i thik hes sayin hes bored with life.

hempcurescancer · 11-08-2009, 12:00 AM

learn to play an instrument, I suggest guitar or bass. I play both and it occupys my time pretty well.

**Michael Phelps** · 11-08-2009, 12:00 AM

Man i feel ya, i have alot of similar problems. Huge motivation problems, getting really high and burnt out and you dont want to do anything but sit there and be bored. Man i hate to say this but its called depression and it sucks the biggest dick in the world, sometime you can just be so down on everything for no absolute reason. For me stopping smoking weed would make everything worse, the racing thoughts get to be to much and the anxiety of being around random people can be to overwhelming. Im on the search to man, nothing yet has come good, ive tried medicines, herbal remedys and i went to counciling once a week for 5 months and nothing helped me or did anything good. When it boils down to it you just have to live your life for you and nobody else. Also if you force yourself to be productive and do active things it will be beneficial to you, just gotta take it one step at a time.

I watched a movie today called yes man, it has jim carey, not the greatest movie ever but in all something nice and easy to watch. But the movie has an interesting concept that makes alot of sense, by saying no to everything you dont really get the opportunity to experience life like someone who maybe out going and say yes to everything. Not saying this will solve your problem, just a thought.

Also check out the movie or book the secret, it may feel somewhat like a sales pitch and shit, dont take everything they say to heart, for instance by wanting a million dollars doesnt just make it appear out of thin air. Its just nice because it can put you in a positive uplifting mood, that movie can do alot of good in teaching you how to look at things as half full rather then half empty.

Hope everything works out for ya!

hempcurescancer · 11-08-2009, 12:06 AM

i've been there too michael phelps, for me smoking wise it seems if i vaporize I dont really come down or burn out or get depressed like when I smoked wayy to much indica..

but maybe its just me. good post man.

wildkard91 · 11-08-2009, 12:13 AM

sounds to me like your kinda just lazy. Get off your ass and maybe go do something and stop stitting around doing nothing.

**Michael Phelps** · 11-08-2009, 12:13 AM

Originally Posted by hempcurescancer

i've been there too michael phelps, for me smoking wise it seems if i vaporize I dont really come down or burn out or get depressed like when I smoked wayy to much indica..

but maybe its just me. good post man.

Well i mean ive had issues with depression before i started smoking, smoking actually helps quiet a bit, but on the same token it kinda fucks me to cause i usually smoke 2-3 blunts a day plus a bowl or two and blunts really burn you out. Ill have to try the vaporizer idea, i could def see that helpin with motivation issues.

hempcurescancer · 11-08-2009, 12:18 AM

Originally Posted by Michael Phelps

Well i mean ive had issues with depression before i started smoking, smoking actually helps quiet a bit, but on the same token it kinda fucks me to cause i usually smoke 2-3 blunts a day plus a bowl or two and blunts really burn you out. Ill have to try the vaporizer idea, i could def see that helpin with motivation issues.

hell yea man, and the high lasts longer and like I said, no real comedown for me. Just kind of a smooth sail back into sobriety. I'm usually not even that tired after vaporizing.