I keep trying to tell people that the riu community is full of brilliant, hillarious people. tell us a joke, an interesting story, anything to relieve the tension from a fucked up world.

Here's my current source of entertainment: this

here's a joke:A father sends his kid to bed. Five minutes later, the boy screams, "Dad! Can you get me a glass of water?"
The dad says, "No. You had your chance."
A minute later the boy screams, "Dad! Can you get me a glass of water?"
The dad says, "No. You had your chance. Next time you ask, I'll come up there and spank you."
"Dad! When you come up to spank me, can you bring me a glass or water?"


yeah, I suck, thats why I need your helps

A guy gets pulled over for doing 100 on a 50 road
the cop comes to the driver and says sir!! you know how fast you were going?!
The guy says; Sir I have a gun in the back seat and a dead body in my trunk
the cop get scared and tells the guy to stay where he is, and calls for back up
when back up comes, they search the car and find no gun and no body
so the back up comes to the man and tell him; Sir! There is no gun and no body in your car
and the guy says; i know... who told you that??!!
the back up says; the man that pulled you over Sir!
and the guy says; Pffff!!! I bet that lying motherfucker said I was speeding too!!

lol....

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"Marijuana is addictive in the sense that all great things in life are worth repeating"

well played, sir

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you are way to desperate for rep man.

I didin't write that for rep, fuck if i care...

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"Marijuana is addictive in the sense that all great things in life are worth repeating"

I have a good joke..
Similiar to Aba's.

A 40yr old man was having a mid-life crisis, and decided to blow all his money on a brand new porsche.
He takes it out for a spin and decides to open it up.
Suddenly there is a cop car behind him out of nowhere tellng him to pull over.
He thinks to himself for a minute that they will never catch him in his flush new ride, so decides to step on it..
140, 150, 160mph when he all of a sudden realises wat the f*ck he is doing and pulls over.
The cop comes up to the man and says "Sir, its late on a friday afternoon and i really dont want the paperwork. If you can give me a good enough excuse that havent heard b4, then ur free to go".
The man pauses for a minute then says "My wife ran away with a Cop last week, and was afraid u were trying to gve here back".
With a slight smirk on his face the officer says "Have a Good Day Sir".

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XxNinjaxX's Super Lemon Haze - LST + Pics
XxNinjaxX's Afghan Kush X White Widow

rep to all, even the naysayer!

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Thats awfullly big of u phreaky - i think u deserve a bit of rep 2.

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XxNinjaxX's Super Lemon Haze - LST + Pics
XxNinjaxX's Afghan Kush X White Widow

haha, online credibility IS my main goal in life!

A little girl and her mother were out and about. Out of the blue, the girl asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?" The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older." The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?"
Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up." The girl, still wanting to know about her mother, then fired off another question, "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"
The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."
The little girl, frustrated, sulked until she was dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consulted with her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation.
The girlfriend said, "All you have to do is sneak a look at your mother's driver's license. It's just a like a report card from school. It tells you everything."
Later, the little girl and her mother were out and about again.
The little girl started off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. I know how old you are. You're 32 years old."
The mother was very shocked. She asked, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?"
The little girl shrugged and said, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds."
"Where did you learn that?"
The little girl said, "I just know. And I know why you and Daddy got a divorce. You got an 'F' in sex."