*Update*

I can't believe what a horrible mood I was in yesterday. I'm in a good mood today, I've been getting better at bypassing future stresses. The problems are still there and they are very real, but some of you had some really awesome things to say and it REALLY helped put some other things I hadn't thought of into perspective as well. I hope none of you think less of me for being such a downer yesterday. It was just really bad. Things were starting off bad, and I just knew it was gonna suck ass. Venting was good though, it gave me a release, and also I love hearing people's responses to things like this, I always learn such awesome stuff about life. People's perspectives on things like life and happiness are intriguing to me. So I hope you don't mind that I just picked your brains a little as well. I wont leave anyone hanging - don't worry. Here's what I wrote:

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I don't know if it does any good to list out all your problems like this but... here's what's been bothering me. What's been bothering you? Why do you smoke?
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I feel like a magnet to people that want to take advantage of other people.
I feel like I can't have shit, cuz someone else will either take it, or fuck it up.
I make 10 bucks an hour, I should be making 17-24 bucks an hour, I've finished college, got a degree, and found out AFTER having spent all those years in college that the field I majored in was highly oversaturated and I couldn't get a job.
I'm in what I thought was a perfect relationship, seems to be turning to shit, and this is REALLY bad because I know I want to marry this girl. What can I do to save a relationship that only seems to get worse on its own? I know the sayings, I know the definition of psychotic and crazy. I don't make the same mistakes twice. So then why doesn't my life get any better, ever? It has been EXACTLY the same, for the last three years.

How can I have a good day, when the only thing that makes my day go from good, to shit, is people? This is not an every other week I'm having a shitty day kinda thing, this is an every day or every other day occurance. I literally feel like that guy on Office Space, every day is the worst day I have ever had. I'm sure tomorrow's gonna be shitty too. I'm just sick of feeling like I've paid my Goddamn dues, and I haven't gotten any payout from it.
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Yall know what I'm saying? Somebody PLEASE cheer me up in the next 10 minutes, PLEASE. *beg beg beg, plead plead plead*

I think probably the hardest argument to talk about is the whole college thing. I had to take the next best thing I could do with my abilities and go with that because even now, there's still no positions available, probably in all of America. Literally. I feel the sting of my wasted years in college every day now, because I'm missing out on a seriously nice life I could've had, that I feel like I earned, but didn't even have the oportunity to get. Not forgetting to mension the money ALSO invested in my schooling, hope grant didn't buy half my damn books, and I had NO scholarships. Its like, I worked my ass off to get through college, keeping my eye on the gold, but then I get to the finish line, and the crowd that's supposed to be there to cheer you on has already gone home. Fuck this shit, I'm growing weed, I'll just get rich that way. I just don't feel like I should have to risk my life for money, when I've already given a lot of my life up for it. I wish I could just go to sleep tonight and not wake up so I could just, move on to my after-life. I'm sick of this one.

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Not to say I wasn't going to already lol. I've been getting my shit together for months, my first grow is gonna be insane. It'll be nice to finally have some cash in my pocket, all I wanna do is just have a little fun so I can say "I had an awesome day, today." just once without lying.

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money is the root of all evil. for more info send $9.95

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give me a + to rep if my infomation helps

The problem is how you look at life. There is no doubt that you dissatisfaction is now obvious to everyone around you. This will make you a negative personality. Nobody wants to be near this. Its catching and depressing. Take all your problems and deal with each one slowly and methodically. Be happy knowing that by doing this, you are trying. Maybe tomorrow wont be a shitty day after all. Stay positive.

Man, there are plenty of people with NO Money, No Job, NO Girlfriend and NO Dope that are happy.
Happiness is not what you have and don't have, it is an attitude.
Friend, I have learned that unhappy people tend to want to stay unhappy.
do you really want to cheer up?

I just bet that you do not want to hear any suggestions that you get here.
My suggestion is that you find and develope a relationship with a Higher Power that we call God. Sure makes me happy!

but IF youa re serious, then do something differnet! Change !

Doing the same thing will get the same results! I guarantee you!

IF AT FIRST YOU DO NOT SUCCEED, THEN KEEP ON SUCKING UNTIL YOU DO SUCK SEED!

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May Peace and Joy be your companions.
Roseman's DIY Bubbleponics Tutorial - Marijuana Growing
Pics of OLD Grow on this Page

Its best not to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend that doesnt smoke or drink cause dam they'll bitch you out, all the time about it.

Hey Purple Ganja,

Roseman made some good points. Change is key. Not to demean or lessen your problems but I will give you some background. I have lost my father and my mother in less than a years span and I bought a house with my girlfriend who has done a 180 and drinks like a fish since we bought the house. I am a recovering alkie so I had to have many talks with the girl who is also a mother of a 22 yr old and an 11 year old. It has effected us all IMMENSELY!!!
I haven't had a drink in a year and a half, I got arrested twice in 6 months after my pops passed because I was self medicating with alcohol. I was making things worse. Not to mention that I started to become finacially strapped, I was dropping a 1000.00 a month on boozing. Then last Sept. my mother passed. She had cancer since I was 18 (i'm now 33), I was there with her every step of the way, it was very hard, but I was sober and I dealt with it differently. When she passed I wanted to punch god in the face I had it with life. I was losing my temper and feeling really down. Then I was going through a manic stage for months, no sleep too much work you know the deal. It's now June and I'm feeling like a new man. I did a couple of things, first you need to have some relaxing hobbies/escapes...I got back into playing games mainly Dungeons and Dragons (it's gay but one key point is that it is social and I loved it when I was a kid) I'm finding that I still like it maybe more than when I was a kid. If you surround yourself with people in a fun enviornment it's contagious The other thing I did was I started painting again, it is so theraputic, I can't even begin to tell you. It's all about outlets my friend, chanelling negative energy into a little "get up and go" or positive energy. Turn that frustration into motivation...it's your life...right? The other thing I did was I started to see a shrink, talking to someone every couple of weeks is so amazing to me. I helps me vent my feelings and it also helps to have an outsider who is not biased tell you what he/she thinks about you and your problems. When I walk out of that office I feel like the world is mine and nothing is going to get in my way...but in a good way. Another thing I have done is try to be a good person. I lost both parents to cancer so I started there. I volunteer for Cancer runs, not running neccassarily, but helping set up the events. I also have a band and we play benefits for Breast Cancer whenever I can get something organized, I've done three since Sept and raised over 10 grand. I have also started to grow my hair for Locks for Love, when my hair gets long enough they will make a wig out of it and give it to someone going through chemo. Basically do at least one good deed a way, it makes you feel great.

I haven't figured out what to do about my girlfriend yet, but as someone said take it slow and one problem at a time. I still smoke and it does relax me but you need to remember that the problem will still be there waiting for you unless you start to take some positive steps. And I can't stress enough to channel that anger in a positive manner..anger is a gift like any other emotion. Love is key too, next time you and the old lady have a problem don't lash out tell her you love her...it's amazing how quickly the situation will diffuse itself. Then sit down when you are both ready to talk like adults (I still have problems with this but I'm learning). Say things like I really bothers me when you do so and so, not you suck because you do so and so.

Sorry for the book but I'm just trying to help. I actually feel better now...whew!!! Oh and Roseman said you need to find that higher power, I don't believe in a biblical god but I do believe in a higher power...I started to find this higher power right after my mother died, no pun intended but thank god I did. Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Keep the head up those arms pumping and put one foot in front of the other.

Some short small saying I live by "Be happy with what you have, but never complacent" And dood dont worry life is about fighting man...just keep fighting and smokin that fucking ganja bro!

Good advice Gygax. Good luck with the sober thing.

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Uh, what were we talking about??

Thanks. I hate to say it but without my weed I couldn't have done it