I got a question I wanna see what you guys think. Some of you are parents, and may have some good suggestions for me.

I have two kids, two girls. My littlest was recently called 'fat' by a friend's little boy, and now she is 'mommy, am I a muffin top?' and 'mommy, do I need to go on a diet?' (Btw, the boy that made the comment is a chunky little fucker himself.)

It is killing me, for one thing is she is only 7. For another thing, I am ashamed to admit I don't always talk about myself in the most flattering way (actually, I call myself fat and muffin top, and I have self esteem issues pretty bad myself).

Besides setting a good example, and not talking shit about myself (no matter how true it may be) what else can I do about her way-to-early body image issue? Have any of you had to deal with this, and what did you do?

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I once was here, and now I'm not. I went away to smoke some pot. I put this here to prove a point. Life ain't shit without a joint.

kids can be cruel ,sounds just like the boy may have a crush ,unless your girl is obese don't make a fuss over it if this child is cruel and hateful than address it through the school shewill more than liklley let this go if you will

I homeschool, this was a friend's son.

I hope she forgets, I don't dwell on it, not even my own issues, but it is really depressing to see her goin thru body issues THIS young.

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I once was here, and now I'm not. I went away to smoke some pot. I put this here to prove a point. Life ain't shit without a joint.

7 years old is too young to be 'on a diet', but it's still not right to feed your child french fries every day just because she's a kid. Not saying you do. Just trying to make a point.

I think you should both start eating healthier food just because it's good for your health. The girl will loose weight eventually.

A visit to a psycologist would also not be such a bad idea. They deal with this stuff every day.

Best of luck.

If your child is really overweight and doesn't know then I would take this as an opportunity to get her on a diet.

I'm not implying that this is your case,but i really can't stand those people who think that it's Ok to let there children get horrendously fat and think it's ok because they are children.
In my opinion children should be taught that being overweight is something they should avoid at all costs.
I always seem to shock people by comparing cigarette smoking to obesity yet it's got many resemblances: Addiction,Unhealthy...

You seem to be concentrating more on the fact that she is worried about her body than if she actually has a weight problem.I can't know as i have never seen her.

I actually encountered this with an ex's 5yo daughter. She was parroting her mother, who definitely had a weight problem. I spoke to her very frankly and told her that she is a little girl, and little girls have the very important job of growing up right. In order to grow up right they absolutely HAD to play. A lot. I told her that whenever she was thinking about how she looked or whether or not she was fat, she was to go play. This did two things; first, it made her feel important. Second, it encouraged her to get physically active (yeah, mostly she played with dolls, but that's ok! there were plenty of times it turned into running around outside). Third, it distracted her from those thoughts most of the time. Ok, that was three things.

The question I have for you is, does she have a problem? If so, I suggest you do not dwell on it, ever. I suggest you never chide her about how much she's eating, only the choices (you should have a piece of fruit instead of a cookie or chips, for instance). Otherwise she will resent you for years.

Also, at 7yo, I bet she can plainly see who is and who isn't overweight. Ask her what she thinks of a boy who is also fat calling someone else fat. Ask her what she thinks can be done about it, if anything should be done about it. Letting her tell you what her perspective is on this will help guide you in how you handle it. I have battled weight all my life, and being fat in my family was not good juju. For a long time I really resented my mother, and reacted very strongly whenever anyone would monitor my food (I ended up sneaking a lot of food).

Then my youngest son was put on meds that caused him to double his weight, and that famillial battle began again. This time I ordered my parents, and especially my mother, to NEVER mention his weight or the amount of food he ate. For a long time he was quite chubby. Then he hit sophomore year and got on the football team (he was ALWAYS on a soccer team before that, he's always been very active) and the weight just started coming off. Now, to look at him you would never ever know he ever had a problem.

(I wish to fuck I could figure out this dog's guts, she is lying behind me making so much noise it's disgusting. She had better not fart or I'm kicking her doggy ass outside!)

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Thanks for the replies. Fact is, she ISN'T fat, not by any stretch of the imagination. She isn't skinny, but that doesn't mean she is fat. She is perfectly healthy and beautiful. For privacy reasons, I won't post a pic of her, but believe me, she isn't fat. She is technically 8 lbs underwieght for her age, actually. My oldest is skinny, she always was and always will be, she just has that build (she is tall, too, she about looks me in the eye at almost-13) but my littlest is gonna be short and curvy, like me. But that isn't fat.

As far as her eating healthy, she eats very healthy. We eat lots of veggies and stuff (I am a vegan, but the kids aren't) and we have very little junk food, and we hit fast food places VERY rarely. And she has a horse, and I actually hafta yell at them for running in the house, but when it is nice outside she is always out playing. She isn't much into sitting still that long.

No, it definately isn't that the little fucker was right in any way, but that still hasn't stopped her from starting to look askance at herself, THAT is what bothers me. I have alot of self-esteem issues, but even MINE didn't start till around high school. It is her age and already being self-critical that bugs me.

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I once was here, and now I'm not. I went away to smoke some pot. I put this here to prove a point. Life ain't shit without a joint.

Puff, the question isn't so much whether or not this boy was right, at least not how I've interpreted your question and situation. The question is really how to get her to stop this line of thinking. Thusly, give her a JOB--to grow up right. In order to accomplish that job, she must play, because it is through play that children learn.



Here in the U.S. we mothers have a difficult time, especially with daughters, when it comes to self-image concepts. Almost every aspect of our culture is saturated with a pre-occupation on appearance. Distract her is my method, get her to think about all the other things there are to think about and I honestly think she'll soon forget about what this boy said.

I just realized, also, you said she's technically underweight. I don't know how mature she is, but maybe if you simply explained to her that there's a real chance this boy said what he did NOT because he really thinks she's fat, but because he wishes she were like he is. Projection is a difficult concept to explain to a young child, but she might get it.

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I know, altho I am seeing projection myself from people more and more.... I think she gets some of it, but she is also facing her older sister is developing breasts (already! I didn't get tits till my last year of high school) and is becoming a woman, whereas she still has the little girl shape, and I think some of it may be jealousy for that. I didn't have an older sister, I don't know what it is like to have someone growing up seemingly faster than you. My littlest is a bit of an over acheiver too, she wants to do everything she sees her sister and me do, she doesn't have any patience for being the littlest, or realise that she IS a little girl. The society doesn't let them be children for long.

But I guess learning to deal with my own issues would help more. I have BDD, (Body Dysmorphic Disorder), had it as long as I can remember, with no professional help. I try and just not worry about it, I have discovered I can distract myself for the better part. But when it DOES come up, I have been known to make very self-depreciating statements, and I am afraid that hasn't helped it either. I guess if I knew how to help me I could help her.

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I once was here, and now I'm not. I went away to smoke some pot. I put this here to prove a point. Life ain't shit without a joint.

Ahh.. then how about you consider talking to a counselor or therapist yourself? I think your concerns are quite valid. I was fully grown by age 10. The only thing(s) that didn't stop growing were my boobs, and it was only a cup size's worth of difference.

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