So, after four years of being out of the closet, I finally manage to find another chick who's seeking too.
Problems: She's a bar-head, and while I find her absolutely enchanting when she's sober, she's intolerable when she's bar-ed out. She becomes very confrontational, whiny, and moochy.

She's bi. This wouldn't be a problem, but she is still in contact with a guy she was actively interested in when I first met her.

She likes public displays of affection, like passionate kissing, whereas I'm very conservative.
Despite all of these things, I still asked her out. She's very attractive, and when she's sober she's a great conversationalist, very elegant and well-kept. (My ideal girlfriend.) She had informed me that she had stopped taking bars and I jumped on the opprotunity to take her out. Since she didn't have much money, I treated her to dinner and a movie, and bought an ounce to share some with her. It was my first date, so I'm not sure whether ordering multiples of the most expensive drinks on the menu is a foul. But texting the dude that she was into before dating me during the entire movie, seems rude, especially since I paid for her to see it. Not only that, but she tried to convince me to go and pick the dude up after the movie, because he supposedly got kicked out of his house. I refused, unless the dude was willing to pay me gas money. After the movie, we crashed at a friends' house, and got high.

Despite the fact that I was sore at her, when she made advances, I was rather, um, earnest in responce. We were sleeping together in a spare bed, in the dark, privacy, ideal conditions for physical intimacy, in my mind. Heavy petting is really all it amounted to, but being a first time, it was a big deal for me.
Later my friend informed me that he had been given bars by her, and saw her take some herself. That explains a lot of her behavior, but since she had told me she had quit...
The next morning, she insisted we go to breakfast, ordered plenty of food and then walked away from the counter, leaving me to pay.

So here's the question, do I confront her about her behavior and her dishonesty about the bars, and then try to patch things up? Or do I just drop her, with or without telling her why? She's inclined to throw a hissy fit if I tell her why, but since she did happen to favor me sexually that night, I feel I owe her an explanation.

Well? What do you guys think? I'd go to other people for the advice, but I want to hear adult opinions, from people who've had plenty of dating relationships.

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Honestly just be honest

tell her that your concerned about her and your relationship

dont feel that because of your sexuality that it might be hard to find someone else if this relationship doesnt work just be honest to yourself and her and things will unfold as needed

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I would dump her and tell her NOTHING.....How disrespectful of her! She showed you no respect, I would do the same. You can do better than that!!! It sounds like she is lacking in the respect area...this is just my opinion...To call her ex while she is on a date with you is wrong, no way around that! Then to ask you to pick him up, YIKES! Then on top of all that she is lying to you. Dump her and walk away and never look back.

you don't owe her shit. i mean you might want to explain yourself because i've found a lot of times getting it off your chest can help quite a bit but i would say from the sound of it she isn't taking you seriously enough and doesn't deserve you

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I'm with sunny on this one... 100%

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from what youve said here it really doesnt sound like the 2 of you are ever going to click. its not worth trying to change her especially when she seems to have quite a few major personality faults). sounds like a pretty new relationship. just move on. if you need to give her an explanation just say it isn't working. you dont owe her any more than that.

get as far away from her as possible. The more and more into her you get the more and more she'll feel she can get away with. She's testing the waters already. She knows you're into her, and if you'll put your principles on the backburner what else are you willing to do? If someone took me out, paid for everything, and smoked me down I'd be attentive, humble and respectful. she seems like a lying mooch. Then she wants you to pick up some random guy? If you stay with this chick you're setting yourself up for heartache.

It's really crazy to think about all of the different personality traits a person has, and how close they are to yours... and then you discover all of these other traits when they are under the influence of alcohol... It's pretty wild.

Humans are messed up!

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I could be totally wrong but what if she is actually WITH this dude... and she is just trying to bring you in for um... a threesome?

Damn!

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Run girl, run like the wind.

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