This is to all of the newer unfamiliar marijuana smokers out there and maybe even yourself. These are just some basic rules to live by that will help to insure that prosecution and the 5 0 wont catch up and bite you in the ass.

1. Never leave your place of residence with your ganja. I realize that for those who do not grow its impossible to not have mary in your car because chances are you have to drive to pick up. Have a safe place in your car to stash your stash(behind air vents, under your front or rear bumper, inside your shoe-cops will almost never search your shoes).

2. Remember that marijuana is illegal and state laws vary in every state. Know the laws against marijuana and take the time to brush up on laws regarding prosecution and possible "get-out-of-jail-free" passes. A smart stoner is a safe stoner. Know your rights.

3. Keep your mouth shut. You never know who the person your talking to might accidentally or purposely repeat things to.

4. In regards to growing, never purchase growing supplies via credit/debit cards. Leave no paper trail and no assumptions can be made as to what your buying.

5. Text messaging your dealer is not a good idea, ever. Call him and use slang/code to say what you want. People have been caught because of texting there dealers, even dealers have been caught.

6. Smoke before you go out not during. Doing this is a simple way of reducing yet another factor to getting caught. If you really feel the need to do this, then ventilate your vehicle thoroughly.

7. If you go out try not to smell like weed. Do an air out of your car, spray perfume/cologne, chew gum/mints, etc. Cops are trained to detect smells and as you know, marijuana isnt exactly what febreeze looks for in fresh scents.

8. Be aware of your surroundings. While driving, at home, out with friends, etc. Know whos behind you(driving), know who lives next to you(in regards to smoking/growing-indoors,outdoors) and know who is around you(at parties, when with friends, when out). People are busy-bodies. All it takes is for someone to over hear you and tell the law.

9. In the event that you are pulled over and asked questions regarding to substances, deny everything. You are a perfect sunflower and you dont know whats going on. "No officer, I dont smoke marijuana. I have asthma."-Thanks to Canadabis

10. Never break your weed up into separate(individual) baggies. Only ever break your buds up when your toking or when you make that sale. If you are arrested and a cop sees that you have these separate baggies, even if you dont intend to sell(some people break up buds to keep track of consumption), they will charge you with the intent to sell. Fines and penalties are much more severe in the majority of states.- Thanks to lorenzo08

11. Never stash your scale with your buds and never carry and scale with you in your vehicle. Police will charge you with the intent to sell if they find a scale/buds even if buds arent in individual baggies.- Thanks to lorenzo08

12. Selling out of your residence at your own risk. The last thing you wanna do is have someone that only knows you because of dealing know where you live. People will and can fuck your shit up. It only takes one crazy person to come into your house and steal your stash/supplies/cash/anything.- Thanks to lorenzo08

13. "If caught privately but red-handed by someone, like a boss, finish taking your hit, then look him/her in the eye and, with that breath-held grunt, offer them a hit. This only happened to me once, and when I did what I did, the boss waved it off and said "nah, I seen what that shit done to people in Viet Nam" to which I replied, "I was in Viet Nam". He turned around and whimpered back inside . . . never came up again."- Thanks to MrFishy

14. When picking up: If your picking up indoors then always make sure to walk in with something(ie: small box, backpack, gift box, opaque drinking container-empty) to make it less obvious that you just picked up a fat sac. If picking up at a random outside location make sure to great the dealer like there your friend. Talk to them for a bit to make it less obvious. The golden rule of outdoor pick ups is to place one hand(in a fist) in there vehicle with the money. Once dealer has money chat with him a little longer as he hands you the sac. Always pick the sac up with the same hand thats already in the vehicle. As you turn to walk away turn so that the hand with the sac is against the vehicle as you slip it into there pocket. Something i used to do when i had to pick up outside was carry a unicef box with some change in it and ask the dealer to donate. Give em the box(money already inside), he puts the sac in the box, you say thank you and be on your way.

15. Never let a cops search your car, Even if you KNOW there is nothing in the car, You never know what could have fallen out of a buddys coat pocket, Or What you could have left in there while you were high.- Thanks to VansStoner1748

BE SAFE and may marijuana be with you!

If you feel there is anything that needs to be added to this then please post and i will edit to add to this list.

The list is based upon personal experience and opinion. If you feel the need to criticize this list then please, by all means, go ahead. I will consider all inquiries.

:join t:

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cant argue with logic

+rep good rules, but i feel like theres a bunch missing.

When confronted by the police DENY EVERYTHING!

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Stoners Philosophy
"A Bong without water is just a pipe."

good call! i will add with your name if thats ok with you?

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yeah totally!

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Stoners Philosophy
"A Bong without water is just a pipe."

Added and credited. Thank you for your input!

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I'm SOOO high right now, and you crediting me up there just made my day!!!!

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Stoners Philosophy
"A Bong without water is just a pipe."

here are a few more quick stoner rules:

never sell out of the house ("two minute friends")
never tell anybody about your grow - word spreads fast!
don't tell anyone where weed comes from (your dealer)
don't have a scale where you grow (proof you're not growing only for yourself)
don't break up the stash or carry in separate bags (only compounds charges if caught)
keep away from school zones
keep two solid locks between your plants and the outside world
you should never commit more than one crime at a time

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I eat babies, yum.. where's the ketchup?
C Code. C code run. Run, code, run... Segmentation fault (core dumped).. aww shit

very good additions to the list

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If caught privately but red-handed by someone, like a boss, finish taking your hit, then look him/her in the eye and, with that breath-held grunt, offer them a hit. This only happened to me once, and when I did what I did, the boss waved it off and said "nah, I seen what that shit done to people in Viet Nam" to which I replied, "I was in Viet Nam". He turned around and whimpered back inside . . . never came up again.

I never was in the service.
What I'm sayin' is that there's the possibility that IF you treat the inferior superior like an equal, they may just make an excuse to not join you and go away. You're already caught, so?
I suspect this boss was lying about his involvement in Nam.

We know the vast majority have tried smoking marijuana, including the well educated and/or connected.

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I'd giva ya everything I got . . . for little piece of mind