Why Mary Jane why?

**Aztros** · 09-05-2008, 02:24 PM

I need some advice... I'm not some punk kid who grows to make a quick buck. I'm a college graduate currently going to school for my masters. I grow because I have found something that I love to do. I definitely a green thumb and have really developed a passion for marijuana. It provides me with a quality product that came from my own abilities. There is something rewarding in that not to mention it has allowed me the means to pay for life and my college degree.

Here is my dilemma.... While growing I have always followed the rule that I don't go out looking for the girl of my dreams, but rather given the "occupation" I have, I need to wait for the right girl to fall into my life. Unexpectedly a month ago I ran into a really old friend I hadn't seen in a few years and well, I can't even begin to put into words the connection we had. Everything seemed almost perfect. We had changed so much over the years and have so much in common. She lives out of town and before she came to visit me for the first time, I felt I needed to tell her about my hobby. I figured it would be much nobler for me to give her the heads up and let her make the decision to come see me rather than her get here and feel completely uncomfortable. We talked for a while and she asked a million questions. I know a lot of you will sit there and say you're stupid don't ever tell anyone, but she's a genuinely old friend that I lost touch with back when we were both completely different people. I know her family and trust her completely.

At first everything seemed really ok... She doesn't care about the smoking, she accepts me for who I am, and even tried to be ok with the fact that I am a grower. After she visited, she started becoming really distant. I guess after she left she really started thinking about it. She plans on being a teacher, she feels like what I do could affect her if something were to go wrong. Teaching is her passion and she doesn't want to live walking on egg shells. She's scared for me, she's scared of falling in love with me and everything falling apart because of what I do. Her sister (another really good friend) told me that she's becoming distant because she's not comfortable with what I do. She's very naive in a completely healthy way. She just doesn't understand. I try to explain all of the precautions I'm taking and that I am being very safe but not in a justifiable way because I realize that everyone is different. I've done this for almost two years and take ever precaution necessary. I really feel like we could really have something amazing... Everything seemed so easy between us except for this. I hate being in a country where marijuana is illegal. I have to respect her, but still want to put up a fight for something I feel that we both know could be amazing. Someone throw me some input... I hate this feeling. I don't want to lose her.

**cincismoker** · 09-05-2008, 02:34 PM

fight on my friend is all i can say

**drobro23** · 09-05-2008, 02:36 PM

you gotta make a life decision here
follow your heart
cause u can lie to ur brain all u want
but ur heart will always know the truth

**Bookworm** · 09-05-2008, 02:36 PM

damn bro.

I'm gonna assume you don't live in a medical state, but if the two are so important to you, maybe you should move to a place where growing is legal.

**cincismoker** · 09-05-2008, 02:39 PM

Originally Posted by Bookworm

damn bro.

I'm gonna assume you don't live in a medical state, but if the two are so important to you, maybe you should move to a place where growing is legal.

and getting the girl to follow might be a bit difficult

**howhigh123** · 09-05-2008, 02:45 PM

damn man..i feel for u..what do u think is the best way to go about this?..follow your heart..

**Aztros** · 09-05-2008, 03:06 PM

I know it's a struggle... I just wish I had the right words. Yea, I'm not in a medical state... I don't want to pressure her, but I look at this and think why does it have to be this hard. She smokes on occasion, but has never ever been exposed to something on this level. I have a 5 year plan with the financial side with how big I'm growing, but I can't lie and say that I won't probably have my own little project going the rest of my life. I don't believe there is only one person out there for all of us, but damn It's taken me a while to feel like I've met a girl on my level. :/ Life's rough sometimes.

**murtymaker** · 09-05-2008, 03:38 PM

Yo I'm right there with you man. Same thing, college degree and all that shit but I know growing is pretty much tied for first of things I LOVE to do. It gives me medicine, money, sense of fulfillment, and just an unexplainable feeling that words can't describe when you create life.

Here's what I'm telling myself. Take it or leave it. You know in movies like goodfellas, scarface, casino, etc. the relationship part is really not all that different from real life. The girls should know nothing about your "work" and you should be forceful about that if it comes down to it. ANY girl loves money and being able to brag about what vacations they are taking w/ you or what kind of jewelry you bought them. If you tell her that you are a construction contractor, there is no reason at all that she should think differently.

That's what I'm going to do. Get up in the morning like any other Joe, put on my dress pants, shirt and tie, kiss her goodbye and head off to "work." Is she really going to follow you to where your grow is? No. If you are coming home at the same time everyday w/good money to give her things and keep your love alive why would she? Worst case if she does follow, you say that the house is part of your job. Real Estate or something, ur estimating the cost to refurbish it, etc.

People might say, well I feel bad about lying to the one I love. WHY?!? Listen, it is really stupid that MJ is illegal in the first place, but, it is. So what benefits does she get from you telling her about your grow? Nothing! It only endangers her and yourself ten fold. Worst case the cops/feds find your grow, if they track it back to where you and her are living she is going to crumble under the feds questioning routine and you know it. Girls can't handle those threats, but hopefully you have done your research on how to handle that situation if it ever does happen for yourself. So back to the point, if she doesn't know ANYTHING if the cops come she legitimately will have no info to give them, why? because she legitimately doesn't know because you were smart enough not to tell her! Another way to look at it, if you do tell her about it, and then she tells the cops/feds that she knows about it when they threaten to lock up her mom, then guess what? She is an accomplice to YOUR grow! And now your both in jail, and it's all your fault!

Out weigh the positives and negatives and you will find that not telling her is the best way. My gf is a perfect 10...like for real she is like Maxim material. And to think to myself one day another perfect 10 will walk up to me and say hey I am super hot, great attitude and humor, but unlike your present gf, I LOVE TO GROW! Ya right bro fat chance. Save those girls for your dreams cuz that's the only way your going to find em. Peace.

**SativaSam** · 09-05-2008, 03:45 PM

I don't believe living in a med state would make a difference as she would still worry about the Feds one day carting you and everything you own away. Is her sister older than her, if so I'd say she has been giving her life advice. Good luck as there is very few really special folks in our lives.

**imtylerdammit** · 09-05-2008, 03:51 PM

Wow thats a tough decision. The girl you love or growing the best herb on earth...damn idk. I would deifnately keep talking to her about it, tell her " listen this is who i am. i grow not because im some reefer fiend droppin dimes on the street with a trail of baggies leadin back to my home. i grow because thats the safest way to obtain it and its my hobby turned passion."

gotta ease it on her and maybe shell come around