Your Most Retarded, Nonsensical Quote

frequently when i smoke, i lose my train of thought after 3 seconds of talking, more so than most i feel, and i cannot hold an inner monologue to think my thoughts out at all!

this being said, i once tried describing how much dumber i felt while high to a friend, and the only thing that came out was "I feel like... a zoid... vegetable..."
i think i got the vegetable part right, but i dont know where i pulled the "word" zoid out from. i have never heard it been used in my life, but it just came out...

what are some of the dumbest things you all have said?

poutineeh said:

frequently when i smoke, i lose my train of thought after 3 seconds of talking, more so than most i feel, and i cannot hold an inner monologue to think my thoughts out at all!

this being said, i once tried describing how much dumber i felt while high to a friend, and the only thing that came out was "I feel like... a zoid... vegetable..."
i think i got the vegetable part right, but i dont know where i pulled the "word" zoid out from. i have never heard it been used in my life, but it just came out...

what are some of the dumbest things you all have said?

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Two friends and I passed a joint around before going out to the bar last night, and the hits were so strong, it was probably a 0.5gram joint. Either way, I started getting all philosophical and stuff and then I started visualizing things (not hallucinating) and they were ideas from weird stuff.

Here is what I texted (I know, I'm a noob lightweight dumbass when I smoke):

"I am too high. I'm more fucked up than booze ever was, but It's crazy like Woah i don't run in a candlelight moon chant behind the arc of the shadow of the motherlode... <Through a cave and the hypothrusting avenger from beyond the suitcase, hovering at an elevation of roughly 7 feet, giant crazy two mouthed mouthfed breaking shit in the utter darkness beyond the noonlight anti-energy you could ever believe or see at a radioshack in the 80s before any of us could mouth the woody the woodpecker theme near the cozy fireplace beyond the legendary time portal in the 6th dimension. Parallel universes is the only way to the way this reality exists - From Dabu - man"

He replied with: "I need to try that"

Then I got an idea and replied with something you might like:

"Shy tryporsodial axiom carbarnoidium cool fusion elemental nightmares with pink blobs rising and tom floating down into the seventh grade confessions of an uno drama king and then into an insanity micro tongued anti frog with bubbles + 1 =)"

me and my buddy were in wafflehouse high as a kite.
my buddy's eyes get fucking blown anytime he smokes and he refers to it as 'lobster eyes'
we sit at a booth and he starts gettin paranoid and asks me 'if i didnt have eyes could you tell i was high' and all i could do was just laugh

jollygreengiant8 said:

me and my buddy were in wafflehouse high as a kite.
my buddy's eyes get fucking blown anytime he smokes and he refers to it as 'lobster eyes'
we sit at a booth and he starts gettin paranoid and asks me 'if i didnt have eyes could you tell i was high' and all i could do was just laugh

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hehe i love those self-conscious high questions about their own high-ness

reminds me of when a buddy of mine and i were in a super expensive entertainment store where the cheapest pair of head phones was $200, for reference. so i was talking to one of the guys there about some of their amazing HD tvs, trying my damnest to not sound stupid or high. after some talking, we leave and my friend looks at my eyes and he said they were absolutely blood red. so im pretty sure the clerk knew i was stoned as hell despite my greatest effort haha

my mate gets the funniest thing when he is completely blitzed.. basically if you start him laughing not only can he not stop but he ends up weezing in this really high squeel laugh basically crying from the pain of laughing for say 20 minutes at nothing... the best bit is when he finally manages to stop and you point out to him that he was laughin at nothing so he just starts up again.. classic...
Panda

nothing quite like a good non stop laugh. i envy him. those are the best.

Me and my best mate were waking and baking....We were smoking out of my pipe for meabout 4 hours straight (Over 6 the night before) when our lighter ran out. So we decided to bike down to our dealers and buy a lighter. After lots of troubles we finally got on the road. At some point the subject came up about Ninjas and that shit. I told my buddy about how I believe that people who beleive they can do something. Can do it. They just need to believe. He told me about how when he was high we could so more things then sober and thats when I came to this realization...

The little guy in your head that tells you that you cant not do things, Can't work withy ou when you are high becuase your mind is set free and wont listen to him as much. He gets pissed and goes down to your stomache because he's an asshole then starts making you hungry and just being a asshole. Thats where munchies come from. (Sorry if this is hard to follow, I just smoked a bowl and typing things is hard for m.)

Dabu said:

"I am too high. I'm more fucked up than booze ever was, but It's crazy like Woah i don't run in a candlelight moon chant behind the arc of the shadow of the motherlode... <Through a cave and the hypothrusting avenger from beyond the suitcase, hovering at an elevation of roughly 7 feet, giant crazy two mouthed mouthfed breaking shit in the utter darkness beyond the noonlight anti-energy you could ever believe or see at a radioshack in the 80s before any of us could mouth the woody the woodpecker theme near the cozy fireplace beyond the legendary time portal in the 6th dimension. Parallel universes is the only way to the way this reality exists - From Dabu - man"

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Niiiiice! Glad I'm not the only one who gets that high, sometimes I get worried about my brains reactions...like i can't take it or im screwing myself up with it or something - how often do you smoke it brother? (bet you get like 5-6 words in your head you'd like to write down between each word in that gobble-dy gook so it makes more sense but you can't coz its all moving too damn fast in your brain...am I right?) - Can't describe it in any other way, I'm not under the influence now but what I just wrote sounded REAL waffley...oh YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

Oh yeah - I BET there was a fireplace and suitcase somewhere in the room right?

Tenac87 said:

The little guy in your head that tells you that you cant not do things, Can't work withy ou when you are high becuase your mind is set free and wont listen to him as much. He gets pissed and goes down to your stomache because he's an asshole then starts making you hungry and just being a asshole. Thats where munchies come from. (Sorry if this is hard to follow, I just smoked a bowl and typing things is hard for m.)

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lmaooooooo that's a good 1 to read after smoking just makes you think...

Mouth is drier than a popcorn fart

your ass sucks butter milk

Just a few retarted quotes i've heard....i have more just can't remember them all now....I'll be back

I can't claim this one as I heard it third-hand, but it's pretty funny stoner talk. The dude who said it is an attorney now.

I only doubt myself when I question myself.

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"why the fuck is a TV commercial telling me TV is bad for my eyes"

a friend once told me to get out of a tree while stoned, my response was (according to him as i dont recall):"I need to get higher and we're out of bud,lift up your feet the floor is melting"

"for the last ten minutes i was either laughing or coughing" - a friend of mine

When I was at Rothbury my crew and I were walking to the concert area and on the way we overhear people talking about how string cheese might play together because all the members were there. But the funny thing was the fact that they didnt say string cheese incident. They said "Do you think the blue cheese incident will get together" Made me laugh hard.

And a quote from my friend talking about music "Nothing is better than the past"
But when he said it no one knew he was talking about music so it just seemed sooo depressing as he's saying life does nothing but get worse

"There is Sunlight Delight in my nose!"
-Me

In actuality, one of my friends had said something so funny it made me shoot Sunny Delight out of my nose. We've been callin in Sunlight Delight ever since..

my friend told me I sounded like a rhinosaurus when I was laughing the one time haha

My mate always has me laughing, after smoking a couple of joints we walked into a local store, they have really bright ceiling lights and as he sees them he screeches due to how bright they are and shouts "the lights the lights the liiiiiiighhtts!" he runs around then leaves the shop, leaving me standing there like a mug laughing my ass off.

My friends goes... "Dude what time is it?"
I say "11:02"
He says "whooo, Oh my god.......wait nevermind I thought it was 11:20"
I say "You idiot, your thinking of 4:20, and its not even close"

driving with my friend about a half a block from the gas station and she says

"hey pull in there so I can get some cigs"

My high reaction was to instantly forget and drive right on by.

She's like "aren't you going to stop"

and I'm like "oh yeah"

(like she told me hours ago not like 2 seconds ago)

she says " damn, you got that pot-heimers too?"

This dude I used to hang out with was always good shit,one time we were all in his moms kitchen(All of us BAKED) when he opens up the fridge and starts guzzling a gallon of milk. After he slams about half of the gallon he starts coughing while still pouring milk all over himself,My buddy Dave asks him "What was up with that"? He turns and says SLOWLY "My sisters kids put marbles in the milk"