A couple years out of High School (A long time ago) On my way to a bar my lighter died. We stopped at the only G station for miles and miles to get a new lighter. Now mind you I have heard of this riddiculous white lighter myth before but never paid attention to it as nothing has ever happened to me before. The G station only has ONE LIGHTER LEFT, and its white, so I grab it and off we go.
We get to the bar and start a so far, fairly good night out. A month prior to this I broke my leg racing my quad so I was on Crutches and in a cast. I was with 2 guys and a chick, meeting another 3 girls and 3 guys at the bar. At about midnight I'm sitting at the bar and a smokin hot blonde comes over to order a drink, she turns to me and says hey there gimpy , you got a light. So I of course being the gentleman I am lit her smoke for her (white lighter) and bought her drink. We chatted for a few, one drink turned to a few. Another girl I knew happened to be there saw me and came over to say hello. She walked up and immediately asked for a light, so being the gentleman I am I lit her smoke for her(white lighter) and introduced her to the hot blonde next to me. Turns out they are old friends. The one girl says, how do you have sex when your on crutches, I said I can show you if your interested, she smiles and says that depends on if your other friend (hot blonde) wants to help hold you up, she hears this and says why hold him up when he can just lay there and let us use him to our advantage. I'm thinking to myself , NO FUCKING WAY. Bartender!!! 3 Tequillas Fucking PRONTO!!! I tell my buddy my ships finally come in so they are on their own getting home because I'm leaving with the chicks.
So these two broads are walking with me out to my car, I pause for a minute and pull out a FATTY and start firing it up (white lighter). Out of the corner of my eye I see some dude looking into my ride with a flash light. So I hobble on over and ask what the fuck he's doing. He gets pretty shitty with me telling me to mind my fucking business, Being its my ride he was checking out (I didnt tell him this) It was my business, so I told him to get fucked and he grabs my arms and slams me into the car next to mine, so I lit the (white lighter) in my hand and burned him so he let go, and I RAILED his ass with one of my crutches.
Both the girls screamed and I looked over only to get Rocked in the jaw by this guys buddy (or at least I thought) coming from the other side of the car. By that time 3 of my buddies were coming outside and saw the ruckus and ran over to help my handicapped ass.
As we were literally kicking the ever loving shit out of these two guys more people started to pour out into the parking lot, some on our side, some on their side. Then The cops started showing up, within minutes 20 cops and 100+ people were BRAWLING out in the parking lot. I got grabbed by the cops and put into the back of the cop car, it was all unfucking believable. In the huge scrap a buddy of mine saw me in the cop car and opened the back door and let me out. We ran off to another buddies car and took the fuck off. At this point all I wanted was a cigarette, somehow I had lost my (white lighter) in the fight. I asked the dude that let me out of the cop car if he had a light he pulls out(and i'm not shitting) a white lighter and says here I found this in the parking lot, keep it.
Turns out the guy looking into my ride was an off duty cop, his buddy was his partner. One got a broken jaw/nose (from my crutch) and the other went to the hospital from the good ass kicking he got. 30 people were arrested and we made the local paper. The headline BAR BRAWL in the article it said police were looking for a man on crutches. I cut the cast off the next day and never heard from the two girls or the police again.
BUT I STILL HAVE THAT WHITE LIGHTER
It's the only white lighter I own. And I keep it in a case on my dresser.
GOOD TIMES Sorry so long
