The British Growers Help Forum. UK Based Grow Advice, Now With Added Witt, Irony, Sarcasm & Humour

Is this new British thread a keeper or shall I have it deleted?


  • Total voters
    24
  • Poll closed .

Cl@rksville

Well-Known Member
I feel the need to start a new alternative UK based thread because although there is one already, which I have used and the guys on there are fantastic by the way, it can also be a bit daunting dropping in on these 'hard core' bandits who have gelled quite well over the past 3-6 years or so. Especially a bad move if you are new to the growers 'forum scene' and expecting good advice at the drop of a posting, it doesn't always happen! Anyways sometimes a change can be a good thing yeah? Plus its slightly different here in that we will be dedicating some time to encouraging a few new growers to succeed and hopefully keep at it when the chips are down... not telling them to fuck off and slice their own dick off when they only have a wardrobe and a single 55 watt CFL!

Don't think you ever own the thread... Its a free for all and if treated right will be a great addition to the arsenal of information made available to the UK's growing number of home growers. Maybe the Admin Staff will put us up for a category if its a success? Then we can have a few sections on different subjects... DIY Projects, Plant Problems, Personal Dilemmas or a Saturday Night Gag Box etc... anyway lets see how we go shall we :bigjoint:

I thought it would be good to lay down some rough guidelines.
Anyone with something decent to contribute then get it on ASAP, how stupid will I look if this is the only post, yes I could regret this for a long time... but we are British so lets live by the famous slogan of our nations heroes "He Who Dares Wins Rodney, He Who Dares Wins..." I actually look like Rodney, just 3 times heavier lol!

Note to the modern day Angelic Upstarts...
If you're still spunking the bed whilst dreaming about your 30 something neighbour hanging out her underwear, then keep it real on here chaps... some of us have had the snip, done borstal and been slammed in cat a prisons more than twice, we are old enough to be your Dad!

You're more than welcome to contribute but don't assume that we are all a fully understanding teenage audience who watch Skins... Nevertheless bear in mind we have also had the UK revolution of Skateboarding, BMXing, Breakdancing, Punk, SKA, HIP HOP, Football Violence, Race Riots, The Hacienda and of course the Stone Roses, so we ain't totally ignorant but we grew in times when a Ph meter was litmus paper and computers were... well like this!

Gangsta's
Any wet dreamers posting comments resembling a reversed coconut gangster will be terminated, blocked, ignored or taken out the back alley and composted and please don't start any keyboard warrior shennanigans, its not polite. I'm 6'2 18 stone, fit and fucking hard as nails with a track record that'll make you wonder how I'm still alive, shot, stabbed, slashed, run over, stampeded, overdosed, tortured by gangsters in the old 80's Amsterdam fucking been there done it, enough said! But do I ever start shit online, the answer is no and thats how we want it to stay please. Its British and we're proud to be British so no 'Swagga' 'Checkdamone' 'Boyz in Hudz' 'Yahnna' 'Safe' 'Bare' or whatever else that friggin language you speak consists of... on here BARE means nil, zilch or empty little Bruvva!

The Serious Money Makers
Big hitters or commercial growers frequent these sites because I know a few, but please masquerade as a normal person trying to earn a few quid here and there to supplement his personal if you need help... coming on here full guns blazing with pictures of your warehouse probably isn't the safest method of gaining advice o_O


"Hi lads just wondered how to get to my back row of 80 that need topping... oh and where did I put the van keys..." :roll:


To our friends around the globe...
We as British people don't claim that as a nation we are perfect, but at least we are reasonably free and maybe we should count our blessings for this? I personally have never liked been considered an ally of the US it scares me a bit and I have lots of American friends, but this thread is about growing weed and the difficulties we encounter here, in our climate with our laws... Its no good talking nutrients with a guy when he's fighting 35 degrees celsius with 90% humidity outdoors when its snowing here! So by all means pitch in but make us aware you're like 9500 miles away in Australia as a 'fuck me pal I thought you were in Bradford' often offends!

To my Brother
You were my twin brother, my best friend and a great mentor. You took on my kids when my chips were down, put me back on the straight and narrow (well nearly) funniest cleverest guy I ever knew... RIP Jonno its a shame we can't share this Blue cos it's fucking amazing chap :cry:
 

Cl@rksville

Well-Known Member
Oh and I am off to trim some ladies for about 4-5 hours so hopefully I come back to a page of Yeahhhhhhhhh! Fucking loving this Rehab shit man :bigjoint:
 

Labs Dexter

Well-Known Member
Heyup from North England where the water is hard and crap and land of flying piglets (honestly thaut we was avin cut backs lol), I grow personal bud because in sick of stop and searches and crap bud or deals.
I grow for pain relief aswel as appetite and emotional booster. So if anyone else knows of good strains pls let me know.I was a shire horse but now a donkey and unfortunately sponging on sick and munching 28 pills a day.:spew:

Anyway I was wondering if anyone here has used (miricale grow root boost potting mix) not any other soil of mg coz I know they have lots of time release?
in my experience would recommend with added perlite or what ever you use to air it out and found plants love it more with tescos ashbecks water.

The tap water is hard is hell we av to change the kettle every so meny months or twice a year... I don't drink it and plant's don't like it and find it causes nutrients up take problems and allways have them go Pete tong and sad.. If anyone knows of tricks to do I'm open listen and try.. I already tried the 24 hrs room temp and magne -cal + but it don't work, with tescos ashbecks with in a day or two I see uptaking I'm guessing because it's soft.

But he'll yeaaaahhhhh common lads
 

The Nine

Active Member
Heyup from North England where the water is hard and crap and land of flying piglets (honestly thaut we was avin cut backs lol), I grow personal bud because in sick of stop and searches and crap bud or deals.
I grow for pain relief aswel as appetite and emotional booster. So if anyone else knows of good strains pls let me know.I was a shire horse but now a donkey and unfortunately sponging on sick and munching 28 pills a day.:spew:

Anyway I was wondering if anyone here has used (miricale grow root boost potting mix) not any other soil of mg coz I know they have lots of time release?
in my experience would recommend with added perlite or what ever you use to air it out and found plants love it more with tescos ashbecks water.

The tap water is hard is hell we av to change the kettle every so meny months or twice a year... I don't drink it and plant's don't like it and find it causes nutrients up take problems and allways have them go Pete tong and sad.. If anyone knows of tricks to do I'm open listen and try.. I already tried the 24 hrs room temp and magne -cal + but it don't work, with tescos ashbecks with in a day or two I see uptaking I'm guessing because it's soft.

But he'll yeaaaahhhhh common lads
if you are growing in hydro, I would recommend cyco grow nutes, a little pricey but very good results with uk crap water.
I would stay away from miracle grow personally
just my two penneth mate
 

Cl@rksville

Well-Known Member
Hey a few replies in such a short time we will be up and running in no time chaps! Any yes its amazing 3 out of 3 farted at a funeral... quite sick imo lol! Anyway after a quick check I decided to leave them another week! I had a revegging issue due to lights been on 24/7 so its been a pain stopping the stretch and keeping things looking reasonably healthy... @wiethe20 its not meant to be racist in any way my friend, I would like to know what a PB & J is though? @Labs Dexter its odd how Bradford has great water Ph 7 and around 200ppm which may explain a few things... @The Nine I tend to stick with Canna but thanks I will have a look at them.

A small section of my home bred Blueberry Herrer just waiting to be smoked now... I have some off them already and its proper tackle! In fact its similar if not the same as Blue Cheese imo and we have grown lots of Blue Cheese :blsmoke:
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Cl@rksville

Well-Known Member
Lol this was funny, and kind of racist...I like , but I'm not British ...but I did eat a pb and j once
Bloody Hell its Peanut Butter and Jelly... Thats not cool my man, I expect all wanderers on to the Brits page to have at least one portion of Sausage Egg Chips and Beans a week lol!
 

Labs Dexter

Well-Known Member
Lmao that's a pritty face and I'm not in Bradford lmao,Can't stand the curry smell I'm more north East just pies up here lol.. Anyway my tap water is 7.4 or something near that I got a cheap ph pen but smell like a swimming pool, @The Nine I'm not hydro matey I'm in soil mg more like coco and a little bit of peat.
All my grows have been on miricale grow but it's hard to get the (root boost potting mix) that my friend is good.
 

Labs Dexter

Well-Known Member
if you are growing in hydro, I would recommend cyco grow nutes, a little pricey but very good results with uk crap water.
I would stay away from miracle grow personally
just my two penneth mate
Do you grow hydro, and this ppm stuff I never bothered with it lol probably why my grows are not monsters. I'm only on grow five not far of 6 so wondering hoe important you find it, and is it any difference before and after reading your ec
 

Cl@rksville

Well-Known Member
Do you grow hydro, and this ppm stuff I never bothered with it lol probably why my grows are not monsters. I'm only on grow five not far of 6 so wondering hoe important you find it, and is it any difference before and after reading your ec
Growing without a meter is a bad practice imo Dex especially since they are cheap and relatively accurate. Even if you only feed the soil with organic teas and amend it every grow cycle, you should still check the EC of your growing substrate occasionally. Hydro is vastly superior ime and very easy. For starting out in soil-less growing Coco/Pebbles with basic drippers in 10 - 15L pots would be the ideal place to start, its a reet happy medium! Coco can be re-used like soil without any problems, often with better results second time round!
 

Cl@rksville

Well-Known Member
Fuck me some of my buds are showing totally clear trichomes at week 12! Clearly something to do with leaving my lights on all week but I need them down, dried, dusted and gone ASAP, this ones a bit sparse compared to the other side! Anyone used Ripen...

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THCBrain

Well-Known Member
Thought I'd have a read while smoking a jingo got to say cl@rkesville this thread has made me la ugh more than the last one let's hope it continues.. personal grower myself can't stand to pay good money for weed that should still be under lights, couple that with wet weed and 0.085 deals it's a total waste of time...
 

weatwardhole

Well-Known Member
Thought I'd have a read while smoking a jingo got to say cl@rkesville this thread has made me la ugh more than the last one let's hope it continues.. personal grower myself can't stand to pay good money for weed that should still be under lights, couple that with wet weed and 0.085 deals it's a total waste of time...
Just picked up an eighth full of hair. Like physicaly in the buds.call my joints and bowls are making that savage hair cracking sound and taste like arse. This is why I'm growing....
 
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