Soo f**ckn buuummed

pockitsPM

Well-Known Member
Idk what it is. Meds don't really help anymore. I could up the dose but as is if I skip a day lookout. If i was dependant on double that dose and i skipped a day i cant imaginge the hissy fit id have...But I'm just so fucking depressed lately. My only non depressing thoughts are about fucking and fighting oddly enough. Yet both of those would probably just get me in trouble. But even those are getting just sad.

Ahh what to do what to do..? :???::cry:
 

pockitsPM

Well-Known Member
Idk what's wrong. Just miserable with life lately. Only thing not making me depressed is my plants but when that's all you have... well most of my free time lately I literally just sit there and watch grass grow for hours at a time. Stopping to piss or get a drink. Then right back to sitting on the bucket.

I've always enjoyed cooking and eating but lately I have no desire to do either.. my family actually just started to notice that the human garbage disposal ( one of their nicknames for me ) hasn't really eaten anything in a couple weeks. I mean I force myself to eat SOMETHIG but it's nothing and once a day.

I've started to work out again bc of this but it's kind of a stalemate bc I have no desire to move let alone work up a sweat. Like my 2 mile walk last night.

Should have just gone into porn when I had the chance. Any who thanks for letting me vent.
 

HeatlessBBQ

Well-Known Member
Idk what it is. Meds don't really help anymore. I could up the dose but as is if I skip a day lookout. If i was dependant on double that dose and i skipped a day i cant imaginge the hissy fit id have...But I'm just so fucking depressed lately. My only non depressing thoughts are about fucking and fighting oddly enough. Yet both of those would probably just get me in trouble. But even those are getting just sad.

Ahh what to do what to do..? :???::cry:
maybe it's the current state of mind of the world ?
 

pockitsPM

Well-Known Member
Could be. Negative vibes rubbing off. Or if your reading the voodoo thread then it could be I'm reading everyone's negative thoughts and my depression and paranoia are justified lol or I'm skitso
 

pockitsPM

Well-Known Member
Got a list actually. No real short term goals tho other than dont do something stupid. Its kinda like shit I want done and accomplished by Dec.

I got a good idea of whats bringing me down but there is little I can do about it all atm so I'm stuck wallowing in my own self pitty which in itself is pittyful. Yet I don't show myself pitty I just shit on myself more for even allowing myself to be so emo.

Finally able to sit with the ladies tho:weed:
 

pockitsPM

Well-Known Member
Wanna hear some crazy shit? In my ten years of growing off and on...mostly off.. I've never gotten a male. I've seen them, My friends have gotten them, but, i have not. Until today. And it actually helped my mood lol
 

Nugachino

Well-Known Member
I've heard that people who try DMT, feel like they've been reset on an emotional scale.

Like if you're how you are now. It's supposed to reset you to default. Not depressed. Not aggro. Not anything. Just normal. Kinda like it makes worries or whatever just vanish.

I've never tried it to verify that. But, I might be able to one day.

Anyone else heard that?
 

whitebb2727

Well-Known Member
Got a list actually. No real short term goals tho other than dont do something stupid. Its kinda like shit I want done and accomplished by Dec.

I got a good idea of whats bringing me down but there is little I can do about it all atm so I'm stuck wallowing in my own self pitty which in itself is pittyful. Yet I don't show myself pitty I just shit on myself more for even allowing myself to be so emo.

Finally able to sit with the ladies tho:weed:
You got any place.you can go.out in nature? I mean like at least a 10-15 min walk from a road. Total silence.

I hunt and fish. I meditate. It works.

Walk barefoot. It discharges static electricity in the body.



So what's bothering you? May feel better to just let that shit go.
 

PistilCalyxCola

Active Member
The happiness of one's own heart alone cannot satisfy the soul; one must try to include, as necessary to one's own happiness, the happiness of others.

-Paramahansa Yogananda
 

pockitsPM

Well-Known Member
Lol dmt was years ago and now that you mention it it was like outer body flying around the world and I could only focus on people who were clearly bummed and when I came back I was in an awsome mood... maybe it's a sign.

I don't like drinking anymore idk what happend. Not even being drunk I stopped doing that years ago but I've always enjoyed like a drink a day. now maaaaybe if I'm at a restaurant I'll have a beer or rum and coke. Now that you mention it i might have one now, today was fucked.

I love going for midnight walks out in the woods and shit but it's so cold here now its unbearable but that is one of my go to things to do. Nothing like running naked around the lake at night on a warm summer day...that breeze between your knees and all lol.

And actually that quote has been how I live my life for years.. over the past few years i became a recluse and the window of people I help has closed drastically because to many people abused my kindness lol.

And although today was beyond fucked doing better then when I made this thread. Every day it's becoming more and more apparent I miiiight be emotionally unstable and just all around tapped.

Still it's pretty cool mafks on riu took time to try and help a complete stranger. And seeing as how I don't think you can delete threads maybe other mafks can use this when they are just not having a good day... better then starting a bar fight over some dumb shit because you wanna hit somebody.

Thnx guys lol.
 

MonkeyGrinder

Well-Known Member
Well you're working out. So there's a start. Invest in a punching bag. Put that in your routine. Or better yet a full size sparring dummy. Just google Bob the Bully. If you pick one up at dicks make sure to get the one with torso and hips.
If you can find a legit source take some traditional martial art. If you find one that throws philosophy in with everything you're good to go. Isshin-Ryu, Aikido, Wing Chun. If you can spend some money and want to get into killer shape Kendo.
 

pockitsPM

Well-Known Member
My dad did kendo for like 10 years.
.. i think it was kendo. Cheats like crazy when we fight tho lol. Although I like fighting I'm a big teddy bear and avoid fights at all costs I'll even take a few hits before I swing back. Just like the training
 
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