Loser friends...or am I an asshole?

whitebb2727

whitebb2727

Well-Known Member
WeedFreak78 said:
This is where I'm at. It's hard after 20 years of being friends. I don't really drink anymore, they do, I'm not into staying up til 1,2...5 am anymore. .they are (it doesn't help 2 friends are on 2nd shift schedules). I only talk to her on these group Vacas or when she needs something now that she doesn't have a capable boyfriend.

I know what I have to do. ..just don't want to, I'd rather have a couple shitty friends than none right now....I'm running out of people in my life.
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You are doing right.

Its a nice feeling if the car blows up I can just go buy another one.

I don't buy new. I look for a few months and find a good buy on a low mileage car for about $5000. I do the maint myself and drive them until the wheels fall off.

It seems like the less prepared you are, the more that happens.

If all goes to plan, by the time I'm forty I will be able to dick off the rest of my life.
 
Bertie2016

Bertie2016

Member
Sounds like friends I had... Chat to the others that are going! See what they think and express your concerns, don't beat about the bush, speak your mind and tell them how it is in a nice manner!! If there real friends there understand your struggle and at least make the effort to find away to your house, if they cant make the effort to get to at least you're house then there just free load of you the whole trip, and in the end you're lose your temper after smoke / drink and lash out in frustration. Peace out and bong on
 
Bertie2016

Bertie2016

Member
You don't need friends like that, I'd rather have none then a couple you dont even like, join a group gym club forums and start talking to people in your area, you're be surprised how many people out there feel like you
 
WeedFreak78

WeedFreak78

Well-Known Member
Your all correct, but i cant help but feel bad because she is a friend and i know she's been through a bunch of shit in the last couple years, and especially the last 6-8 months, that's not all her fault, but she could have prepared for better. She was dumped by a long time boyfriend after he had a nervous breakdown, after thinking they were headed for marriage, her last boyfriend committed suicide around thanksgiving, she got screwed on a car purchase that's been nothing but trouble for her, now she's getting evicted on short notice, all the stress from this stuff has made her lose her hair in the last couple months. On one hand, like I said, I really don't want to deal with her problems anymore, on the other. .she probably really does need some friends around right now. ..this is kinda why I feel like an asshole, feel damned if I do, damned if I don't. ..but it's self imposed. ..I need to ponder my situation over a long smoke. ..
 
ttystikk

ttystikk

Well-Known Member
WeedFreak78 said:
Your all correct, but i cant help but feel bad because she is a friend and i know she's been through a bunch of shit in the last couple years, and especially the last 6-8 months, that's not all her fault, but she could have prepared for better. She was dumped by a long time boyfriend after he had a nervous breakdown, after thinking they were headed for marriage, her last boyfriend committed suicide around thanksgiving, she got screwed on a car purchase that's been nothing but trouble for her, now she's getting evicted on short notice, all the stress from this stuff has made her lose her hair in the last couple months. On one hand, like I said, I really don't want to deal with her problems anymore, on the other. .she probably really does need some friends around right now. ..this is kinda why I feel like an asshole, feel damned if I do, damned if I don't. ..but it's self imposed. ..I need to ponder my situation over a long smoke. ..
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Tell her you only want her for sex.
 
Singlemalt

Singlemalt

Well-Known Member
WeedFreak78 said:
Your all correct, but i cant help but feel bad because she is a friend and i know she's been through a bunch of shit in the last couple years, and especially the last 6-8 months, that's not all her fault, but she could have prepared for better. She was dumped by a long time boyfriend after he had a nervous breakdown, after thinking they were headed for marriage, her last boyfriend committed suicide around thanksgiving, she got screwed on a car purchase that's been nothing but trouble for her, now she's getting evicted on short notice, all the stress from this stuff has made her lose her hair in the last couple months. On one hand, like I said, I really don't want to deal with her problems anymore, on the other. .she probably really does need some friends around right now. ..this is kinda why I feel like an asshole, feel damned if I do, damned if I don't. ..but it's self imposed. ..I need to ponder my situation over a long smoke. ..
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Blow her off. Anyone with that little control over her life damn well shouldn't be going on vacation; she should spend her time fixing and preventing more problems, not run away.
 
Iloveskywalkerog

Iloveskywalkerog

Well-Known Member
i can tell you whats worst, people milking you even though they have more than you, you can do whatever you want theres gonna be after effects but that's up to you how you wanna feel about those effects.
 
JamesWolverine

JamesWolverine

Well-Known Member
WeedFreak78 said:
I was supposed to be going to the beach for the weekend with 4-5 friends, been a long time since I had a few days to just chill. It's something we've done as a group for years. Well a few weeks ago one friend blew her motor in her car. She hasn't made any effort to get it fixed and now she wants me to go almost 2 hrs round trip, out of my way, literally in the opposite direction, to get her and BF, another winner...., so they can go down. I'm already bringing someone else who doesn't have a car. Neither of these friends have a pot to piss in, but she really pisses me off because I know she parties like a teenager, but cries woe is me whenever there's an issue like this. I've gone out of my way to help her twice in the last 6 months with her car. I used to help my friends, alot more than I should have, but at that time I had the resources. I don't anymore, this weekend is already a financial draw on me at it is. I think they've come to expect it. ..well I don't have any resources any more and I'm sick of bending over for people that won't help themselves.

I don't want to be the weekend shuttle/taxi, only other vehicle is a buddies pick up. I don't want to be crammed in my car for 2 hrs+ with 3 other people and their shit. I'm bringing my own food because I have digestive issues, I don't want that to become a free for all because they don't have the $$ for food-I feel a little bad about this because they have provided food quite a few times, but I only buy quality food, read $$ and ration it because it's so expensive. I can't afford to feed people for a couple days. This whole thing just isn't feeling relaxing, I'm feeling like an asshole, even though I have no reason to...I think might just stay home.:wall:
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Bro, personal experience, last year I was suffering from depression. Simply due to being lonely, broke up with my girlfriend, and while I was with her I cut connection with most of my friends and made her my priority. I was planning on marrying her, but she was the type to let her parents make decisions for her and she was scared of them.
Anyway I've this year linked up with some old friends I fell out with (childhood friends) these people want to go do the same shit week after week think I'm siting on dough. Anyway these people only wanted me to hang out with em as just a person to split the bill down to so it works out cheaper with em. Now I'd rather be alone I have way more fun on my own than relying on asshole.
Also you have couple of hours of fun and then x2 more of stress and them end of pissing you off, don't let anyone use you or fuck with the peace in your heart and mind.
 
bluntmassa1

bluntmassa1

Well-Known Member
WeedFreak78 said:
Hardest part is I've been through this a few times in the last couple years. I'm estranged from my mother for awhile now because of the same fucking shit. Bent over backwards to help her after my father passed away, she didn't do a damn thing to help herself, I lost thousands of dollars, my job and almost the family house because of her and she is totally ungrateful and thinks I still owe her something. I bought her a car, I've paid for the house for years now, and keep bailing hey out when she fucks up, she didn't pay house insurance. .I had to come up with $3500 up front to fx that and she's in trouble with the IRS but I don't know how bad. She refuses to sell me the house so I can make sure it's protected.

Why do I help people again?
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1 hand washes the other, I'd pay the bills but I'm taking the biggest bedroom or basement and growing some herb.

You want to live in a shit hole apartment? Or home? Well I'm putting a lock on the basement door don't even ask me shit. :)

You can't let people use you, I got a friend trying to get me to sell a little piece of land and the money he has ain't even enough to pay my taxes for a year. Lol, I was talking about selling a chunk for $50k not 3k.

Everyone wants something for nothing. I know way too many people who lie to get on disability alone. Just looking for a free ride.
 
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