Ladies and Gents: The Differences in Communication Between the Two Sexes

First of all I want to clarify that this isn't a 'bash the men' thread of any kind but one made more out of mere curousity.

I know that, in general, most women are more emotional than men and we have more of a tendency to show our emotions whereas men don't. And I don't men to sterotype all of the men together or the women for that matter but I find that when I want to talk to my hubby about something that might be bothering me, he automatically thinks it is a problem and something that he has to FIX!!! I also know that I am for more emotional than your average woman/man or child BUT I have talked with other women on this subject and they feel the same way.

Also when men get hurt why is it that it somes across as anger? I know men have a range of emotions just as women do but I usually only see two emotions. Happy and angry.

Is it just me?

I just feel that although we share most of the same emotions we are so different in expressing them.

Men are fixers, that is all there is too it, lol. Their brains work in different ways. Once you figure it out, you are good to go, lol. I have figured out my hubby, but he is not like most men. He would hate me for saying this, but he cries more than I do, lol. That freaks me out, cause I can be a cold hearted itch sometimes. I lack empathy and have been raised tough by my 2 older brothers. I am not the typical emotional chic, only once a month, lol and during my pregnancy. I have been told I am mean at times too, lol. I say it like it is most of time, lol.

my wife and i pretty much can discuss anything. we don't do the drama. if something real comes along, kids school, family health, we discuss it. everything else is just mood swings. she teases me, i tease her, we laugh, done. after 16 years there's really not much left to figure out.

Lacy the anger thing has to do with american/canadian culture and the way boys/men are raised. True I learned it in college...LOL. But we are not taught to be emotional, it is looked down upon, by the time we are adults we don't know how to express it...anger is how it shows. Most times when I guy seems angry he is upset and unfortunately it's the way it is......I am guilty of it I admit it, I also have not picked the best significant others when it comes to communication. So basically it's the way our culture is. Do we tend to encourage or discourage 2 young boys hugging each other, I would say discourage now how about the girls? The girls are encouraged to do the loving things. It's sad really

And it's biological, men are hunter gather fixer types women nuture and provide emotional support.

Exactly fdd, I feel the same way. We know eachother very well. My hubby is my best friend/soul mate. If we can't discuss things rationally then what the heck are you gonna do?

fdd2blk said:

my wife and i pretty much can discuss anything. we don't do the drama. if something real comes along, kids school, family health, we discuss it. everything else is just mood swings. she teases me, i tease her, we laugh, done. after 16 years there's really not much left to figure out.

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fdd2blk said:

my wife and i pretty much can discuss anything. we don't do the drama. if something real comes along, kids school, family health, we discuss it. everything else is just mood swings. she teases me, i tease her, we laugh, done. after 16 years there's really not much left to figure out.

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this is what I'm looking for, lucky man.

my son was maybe 3 years old. he hugged everyone. he has always loved other kids. we went to a friends house. the dad was all macho and into monster trucks and kickin' ass. my son walked over and hugged his son of the same age. dude freaked out. got all scared his boy was gonna be gay. had a little talk with his wife about it who later spoke to me.

That's it folks, that is where is begins, at home. For all you parents out there, remember that. The same sex parent has the biggest influence on a child in the first 5 years of their live. They learn everything from us. So if you are a dickhead teaching them, no wonder they turn out like dickheads, lol.

fdd2blk said:

my son was maybe 3 years old. he hugged everyone. he has always loved other kids. we went to a friends house. the dad was all macho and into monster trucks and kickin' ass. my son walked over and hugged his son of the same age. dude freaked out. got all scared his boy was gonna be gay. had a little talk with his wife about it who later spoke to me.

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Chiceh said:

That's it folks, that is where is begins, at home. For all you parents out there, remember that. The same sex parent has the biggest influence on a child in the first 5 years of their live. They learn everything from us. So if you are a dickhead teaching them, no wonder they turn out like dickheads, lol.

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he's 12 now. we still hug each other. then he punches me.

fdd2blk said:

he's 12 now. we still hug each other. then he punches me.

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You sound like a great dad Fdd! I wish I had a dad like you. I just have a father. Dads and fathers mean 2 different things to me.

Chiceh said:

You sound like a great dad Fdd! I wish I had a dad like you. I just have a father. Dads and fathers mean 2 different things to me.

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+1 on all points..

Chiceh said:

Men are fixers, that is all there is too it, lol. Their brains work in different ways. Once you figure it out, you are good to go, lol. I have figured out my hubby, but he is not like most men. He would hate me for saying this, but he cries more than I do, lol. That freaks me out, cause I can be a cold hearted itch sometimes. I lack empathy and have been raised tough by my 2 older brothers. I am not the typical emotional chic, only once a month, lol and during my pregnancy. I have been told I am mean at times too, lol. I say it like it is most of time, lol.

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I know what you mean, I've been going through life shyt constantly from the time I was 11... after 8 years I seriously think I've turned into a rock.. everyone I know says I have no emotions anymore.. I'd have to agree sometimes..

my dad was always really good when it came to respect and manners. we had to excuse ourselves from the table. "yes please" and "no thank you". hold the door for the person behind you. all the simple things that once made this world a better place.

fdd2blk said:

my dad was always really good when it came to respect and manners. we had to excuse ourselves from the table. "yes please" and "no thank you". hold the door for the person behind you. all the simple things that once made this world a better place.

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I am a strong believer in instilling these "old fashion" values into our children-- it would change our world dramatically if we pushed these traditional values.

fdd2blk said:

my dad was always really good when it came to respect and manners. we had to excuse ourselves from the table. "yes please" and "no thank you". hold the door for the person behind you. all the simple things that once made this world a better place.

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When I say I hugged my pops I meant my grandfather, my dad bailed when we were young...dickhead but he's paying for it now in spades four kids and tons of grandkids and he's a stranger. Anyways I was raised by my mom (RIP) and her parents, my grandparents. I now appreciate all the old fashioned ways the gparents raised me it's important.

Also this behaviour isn't just at home, it's ingrained in our culture, it's on TV and even in school. When I was 12 my best friend got called in from recess, his mother died I remember crying and hugging him in the nurses office...I got a talking to about my actions...I WAS 12 and I still remember it.

My hubby and I are best friends and can discuss just about anything except when it involves anything that is emotional. We get along great and he is also my very best friend however I have NEVER seen my husband cry even once in the 18 years I have known him and if I bring up a topic that he thinks 'he' needs to fix and feels he can't fix it, it frustrates the hell out of him.

And sure enough I do know this about him and he probably knows most of me better than I know myself but sometimes its just nice to just talk. I guess Bong is right. Men just don't like to talk.
Ha. I knew that much but like gygax said I think that men have been taught for so many years to be REAL men and REAL men don't cry and that 'concept' has just stuck.

I know my man has more than just happy and sad but thats all I seem to see. Even worry is either sad or anger. And I do feel like he is my lifetime companion. Its certainly NOT a complaint of any kind. Like I said earlier, just an observation on my part.

Yes men by nature are fixers and if it's something that they feel can't be fixed perhaps it frustrates them.

I suppose I just wish I could talk to my hubby about certain things but it just doesn't happen

Chiceh said:

Exactly fdd, I feel the same way. We know eachother very well. My hubby is my best friend/soul mate. If we can't discuss things rationally then what the heck are you gonna do?

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Ah. make a huge difference. I never met either of my grandparents and both my parents were the only kids and my parents instilled good behaviour in us but it wasn't done so lovingly and I guess this makes a huge difference.

I certainly hope good old fashioned manners are still a priority with all the new ways of communicating we have now.

Sorry to hear about your life with no dad but it looks like mom and grandparents did a good job.

Gygax1974 said:

When I say I hugged my pops I meant my grandfather, my dad bailed when we were young...dickhead but he's paying for it now in spades four kids and tons of grandkids and he's a stranger. Anyways I was raised by my mom (RIP) and her parents, my grandparents. I now appreciate all the old fashioned ways the gparents raised me it's important.

Also this behaviour isn't just at home, it's ingrained in our culture, it's on TV and even in school. When I was 12 my best friend got called in from recess, his mother died I remember crying and hugging him in the nurses office...I got a talking to about my actions...I WAS 12 and I still remember it.

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Lacy said:

My hubby and I are best friends and can discuss just about anything except when it involves anything that is emotional. We get along great and he is also my very best friend however I have NEVER seen my husband cry even once in the 18 years I have known him and if I bring up a topic that he thinks 'he' needs to fix and feels he can't fix it, it frustrates the hell out of him.

And sure enough I do know this about him and he probably knows most of me better than I know myself but sometimes its just nice to just talk. I guess Bong is right. Men just don't like to talk.
Ha. I knew that much but like gygax said I think that men have been taught for so many years to be REAL men and REAL men don't cry and that 'concept' has just stuck.

I know my man has more than just happy and sad but thats all I seem to see. Even worry is either sad or anger. And I do feel like he is my lifetime companion. Its certainly NOT a complaint of any kind. Like I said earlier, just an observation on my part.

Yes men by nature are fixers and if it's something that they feel can't be fixed perhaps it frustrates them.

I suppose I just wish I could talk to my hubby about certain things but it just doesn't happen

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I think you hit on the word frustration a few times I think thats what sums it up MEN GET FRUSTRATED women get it out....once again we are not stereotyping just making generalizations. I was fortunate enough to have a loving family, my gpop was a homophobe but so were a lot of the older guys in my family, but I still hug my close friends and I am confident enough to somewhat express these things but still I was raised in a world that makes it hard to be emotional as a man. My mother never said a mean word about anyone and she allowed me to be me, even if I hugged a boy....egads. I guess I'm sensitive and at times it's frustrating, you know instead of punching walls and feeling like a jerk if I could be "allowed" to get emotional I'm sure a lot of my problems would fix themselves...just the way it is for most males. Now on the other hand I must also admit I have been gun shy when my girlfriends got emotional and or dramatic it makes me uncomfortable. I think it's one of those Venus and Mars things, 18 years is a long time wow I couldn't do it. I shut down when emotionally a lot lately and it hurts a lot.

Lacy said:

Ah. make a huge difference. I never met either of my grandparents and both my parents were the only kids and my parents instilled good behaviour in us but it wasn't done so lovingly and I guess this makes a huge difference.

I certainly hope good old fashioned manners are still a priority with all the new ways of communicating we have now.

Sorry to hear about your life with no dad but it looks like mom and grandparents did a good job.

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Thanks but sorry isn't the right word...I was lucky I had 3 awesome parents and my grandmother is still around as we chat...she taught me much about gardening. I was one of the lucky ones for sure.