Conservatives upset at lack of criminal charges for kids found with less than 5 grams of weed
Conservatives upset at lack of criminal charges for kids found with less than 5 grams of weed
Corey BalderdaskiFebruary 28, 20181
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Conservatives in Canada are frustrated that legalization will not allow for criminal charges against young Canadians found in possession of five grams or less of cannabis.
The legislation, which includes numerous criminal penalties for adults who buy or sell or distribute weed outside of the regulatory regime, includes a caveat that Canadians under the age of 18 or 19 found in possession of five grams or less of cannabis should be dealt with through provincial and territorial government programs like fines, counselling, etc. These provisions are similar to those in place for alcohol.
However, Conservatives in the House and Senate have been expressing frustration that without the ability to throw young Canadians in jail for possession of a joint, Canadian society will collapse.
“How are we supposed to keep our kids from using weed if we can’t throw them in prison for life for a few joints?” asked octogenarian Conservative BC Senator Gary Oldestock. “As I understand it, five grams of cannabis can equal as many as 500 joints and youth can possess this with absolutely no consequences! How is this saving kids?”
Mary Lynne Pleasedu, a Conservative MP in the House representing Slow River district in Alberta, says she agrees.
“If legalization doesn’t’ allow us to throw a 14 year old in prison for pot, then how is this even legalization?” the exasperated MP screamed in Question Period last week. “Strict criminal penalties were finally starting to limit our youth’s use of the devil’s weed in Canada, and now the Liberal government wants to take away our most effective tool. This is outrageous! How are we supposed to stop kids from using weed if we can’t throw them in prison?”
Verp reached out to a representative from the Liberal government, who responded with a long, deep sigh and a face-palm.
*Distribution of this satirical article to a minor may result in criminal penalties of up to 14 years in prison
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Conservatives upset at lack of criminal charges for kids found with less than 5 grams of weed
Corey BalderdaskiFebruary 28, 20181
FacebookTwitterShare
Conservatives in Canada are frustrated that legalization will not allow for criminal charges against young Canadians found in possession of five grams or less of cannabis.
The legislation, which includes numerous criminal penalties for adults who buy or sell or distribute weed outside of the regulatory regime, includes a caveat that Canadians under the age of 18 or 19 found in possession of five grams or less of cannabis should be dealt with through provincial and territorial government programs like fines, counselling, etc. These provisions are similar to those in place for alcohol.
However, Conservatives in the House and Senate have been expressing frustration that without the ability to throw young Canadians in jail for possession of a joint, Canadian society will collapse.
“How are we supposed to keep our kids from using weed if we can’t throw them in prison for life for a few joints?” asked octogenarian Conservative BC Senator Gary Oldestock. “As I understand it, five grams of cannabis can equal as many as 500 joints and youth can possess this with absolutely no consequences! How is this saving kids?”
Mary Lynne Pleasedu, a Conservative MP in the House representing Slow River district in Alberta, says she agrees.
“If legalization doesn’t’ allow us to throw a 14 year old in prison for pot, then how is this even legalization?” the exasperated MP screamed in Question Period last week. “Strict criminal penalties were finally starting to limit our youth’s use of the devil’s weed in Canada, and now the Liberal government wants to take away our most effective tool. This is outrageous! How are we supposed to stop kids from using weed if we can’t throw them in prison?”
Verp reached out to a representative from the Liberal government, who responded with a long, deep sigh and a face-palm.
*Distribution of this satirical article to a minor may result in criminal penalties of up to 14 years in prison
FacebookTwitter
lol