Is this shit for real???!!! hire-a-killer.com

JN811

Well-Known Member
Which one are you? They have names.
email:
# of targets: 1 2 3
package desired: Standard Buy 1 - Half Off VIP
relation to target:
choice of killer: Mr. X Cobra Killer Agent Orange Angel of Death first available
choice of method: Accident "Suicide" Poison Bullet Explosion Killer's Choice
how did you hear about this site?
comments/questions?
 

FuZZyBUDz

Well-Known Member
sum kid made that shit, it looks sloppy. an agency would of been more porfessional...i would think, plus ON THE INTERNET???
 

JN811

Well-Known Member

Isn't killing people against the law?
It depends. Yes, there are laws that make it illegal to kill other people, but there are always exceptions. Under certain conditions, for instance in times of war or during self-defense, it is okay to kill.

Laws aren't permanent, and they change. At one point, it was illegal to drink alcohol and illegal for women to vote. Some countries don't even have clear rules on legality of killing. Your government pays people to kill all the time. Why can't you do the same?

Isn't killing people immoral?
Hire-a-Killer does not condone violence or murder. We will not accept any requests for cruel or unusual treatment of targets. The truth is, in any relatively free society, if there's a demand for a service, a business is going to emerge to meet that demand. In America and other industrialized nations, there is a demand for contract killing and Hire-a-Killer is trying to meet that demand in a friendly and professional manner. We do not presume to dictate an inhumane set of morals, we are first and foremost a business organization that seeks to make its customers happy.
How can I be sure that I am safe if I use your services?
Hire-a-Killer understands the risk involved in taking out a contract on someone's life. That is why we make sure that our transactions are as discreet and confidential as possible. We also guarantee your innocence by providing you with a helpful packet that includes tips on how to obtain an alibi during the time and date of the hit. We suggest that you delete all e-mail correspondences with H.A.K. as soon as you read them and follow the instructions in the provided packet to guarantee your safety.

How will I know if you've done your end of the deal?
At the end of the job, you will receive a friendly completion e-mail that will alert you that the services you requested have been completed successfully.

What methods of payment do you accept?
We strongly encourage you to use cash or wire transfers via Western Union, because they are the safest, most untracable methods of transferring funds. However, we realize that many people may not have the amount of money to pay for the services of a professional killer all at once, which is why we've made the decision to accept credit cards. As of now, we accept Visa, MasterCards and Discover.


I'm an aspiring contract killer. How can I get a job with hire-a-killer.com?
Hire a killer is very selective about choosing its employees, however, as our business expands, we will be interviewing candidates to add to our expert team. Send your resume to [email protected]

Still have questions?
Our customer service representatives will be glad to assist you.
Send your inquiries to [email protected]
 

JN811

Well-Known Member

Here are some testimonials from real people whose lives were improved by our services. Names have been changed and pictures have been edited to protect the identity of the customers.
My neighbor let his dogs crap on my yard and then denied it. I couldn't see us reaching an agreement, so I consulted Hire-A-Killer and they gave me a great rate and an extremely fast service. Now I have a clean yard and new pet-less neighbors. Thanks H.A.K.!
- Bill K., W. Virginia
My husband left me for his secretary so I killed him and got tons of insurance money. Thank you H.A.K. for making it possible!
- Joan W., Ohio
My future mother-in-law was driving me crazy and turning my fiance against me. H.A.K. provided me with the best wedding gift I could ever wish for. Their mother's day special was unbeatable!
- Toby L., New Hampshire
When I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend, the pain of their betrayal was unbearable. I knew that I could never trust either of them again, so I took advantage of H.A.K.'s "buy one get one half off" offer and let the traitors be together till death did them apart. Thanks to Hire-a-Killer, I can finally move on with my life again!
-Mary G., California
I'm in a business that requires a lot of "waste management", so I knew I needed a reliable partner to take care of things for me. H.A.K. gave me a bulk discount and has never been anything less than perfect. Really the top in the field!
- Tony S., New Jersey
Our parents didn't approve of our lifestyle, so we killed them and moved to Philadelphia where we live happily together. Thanks H.A.K.!
- Travis & Ashton, Pennsylvania
My kids were pressuring me about my will and would talk about what they would do with the money in front of me. So I called Hire-a-Killer and had them killed in a tragic accident. I used the money from their life insurance to go on a cruise! Thanks H.A.K.!
- Susan K., Florida
Several years ago this famous West Coast rapper was stealing my beats and wouldn't give me any credit. So I contacted Hire-a-Killer and had the thief whacked. Now nobody messes with my s&*#!
- Chris W., New York
My teaching assistant gave me a bad grade, even after I paid for the keg at her party and made out with her to boot. I felt betrayed and abandoned. I feel much better now that she's six feet under my porch. Thank you H.A.K. for protecting my GPA!
- Sara T., Southern Illinois University​
 

JN811

Well-Known Member
Several years ago this famous West Coast rapper was stealing my beats and wouldn't give me any credit. So I contacted Hire-a-Killer and had the thief whacked. Now nobody messes with my s&*#!

Best one!
 

......

Well-Known Member
The best part

Our team of expert killers is here to provide you with quality service. All of our employees have been trained by the most respected gurus in the industry and have many years of experience in the field of contract killing. To protect their identity and ensure reliable service for our customers, Hire-a-Killer uses silhouetted faces and professional pseudonyms.
Mr. X
- Former Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps
- Master of five styles of Martial Arts including Ju Jitsu, Krav Maga, Aikido, Capoeira and Tae Kwon Do
- "By the books" professional style
Cobra Killer
- Former Harvard Law professor
- Expansive knowledge of untracable poisonous substances and unique weapons
- Assignments carried out with grace and class
Agent Orange
- Self-trained for over 30 years
- Expert knowledge in all types of automatic and semi-automatic weapons and explosives
- Quick and precise
Angel of Death
- Art school drop-out
- Master of sword and knife fighting
- Avant Garde style dubbed her the "creative queen of killing"
 

JN811

Well-Known Member
lmfao that shit is too good. Sounds like characters from a poorly written script. I was stoned and just curious what would pop up if I typed in "hire hitman." It has the #1 spot!
 
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