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How I Beat the Saliva Swab OraSure Test, while High, with no Warning or Preperation.

Discussion in 'Legal Edge' started by anonymuss, Jan 26, 2012.

  1.  
    anonymuss

    anonymuss Well-Known Member

    I got a sweet job with no warning of a drug test whatsoever (on purpose), the lady told me she mentioned that I would have to do this, which is a lie, because a pothead remembers the word DRUG TEST if mentioned..... (few things they do remember)

    so i go in, with a pouch of urine strapped to my leg, as per usual, and the lady marches up to me with a dainty little stick that reads ORA SURE.

    FUCK

    YOU


    were of course my first thoughts, so panic and desperate, I try to think of a way to beat this thing that I was definitely NOT expecting.

    OK so i put this thing in my mouth, waiting for it to snitch to the whole office that I am a pothead. I am dreading applying to new jobs that will just end up being low pay, back breaking, tedious work. (economy here is horrible)

    I even consider walking out just to avoid the inevitable humiliation.

    FUCKIT! Im screwed no matter what, I might as well PRAY that i got a faulty unit and stick this thing in my mouth and go to town.

    Then it hits me, stall, and use my breaths humidity to soak the cotton tip (takes FOREVER)

    I took the test out and she told me it has to be wetter, and the positive/negative red lines have to appear........

    so I continue to stall and get that thing nice and wet in my mouth by sticking it between my tongue and roof, back of the mouth near the uvula, (DO NOT LET IT TOUCH SALIVA DUCTS, it can touch the sides and tongue briefly but try to avoid) just keep the cotton suspended in your mouth and breathe in it like you would a window you are trying to fog.

    the cotton is attached to a KAZOO style tube straw, so make sure the test is pointing downwards, so the humidity can collect and drip down onto the test pads.

    it will take about 20 mins to get it wet, but thats where u have to be creative, to stall for time.

    It passed every drug screen on it, 100% pass. Just with my mouth water. And i smoked the night before AND drank heavily.

    This was not a drug test to be a pilot or truck driver, it was to work behind a computer screen, so this was totally unnecessary, but we have a meth problem here, so typical response to any problem, do nothing to fix it, make EVERYTHING illegal, and harass normal people. (normal, get it?)

    So watch out, they are phasing out the piss tests (until they can make it legal to watch you pee, which they will try in the near future.)

    HEIL SAFETY, HEIL TOX SCREEN!

    [​IMG] [​IMG]
    Lemon king likes this.
  2.  
    PeyoteReligion

    PeyoteReligion Well-Known Member

    These are super unreliable. Congrats on the new job. My company did tell me I would have a drug test so I stopped smoking. Then my second interview they tell me it's gonna be a oral test. So I went home and got high immediately. Saliva only holds ANY drug for three days max I think.
  3.  
    benign

    benign Active Member

    Why did I read this as a Salvia test....I was like WTF when did they start testing for Salvia...hmmm, one of those days I guess
  4.  
    anonymuss

    anonymuss Well-Known Member

    man fishaggy is dumb!
  5.  
    donttellanyone

    donttellanyone New Member

    Quick I need help...was given a swab test today by Children Protective Services because someone accused me of popping prescription pills which I don't I have Prozac that's it and I self medicate for my anxiety. My question is I chiefed out 14 hrs before it was sprung on me will I be ok it should I just throw in the towel for 30 days it more?
  6.  
    Blunt Ed

    Blunt Ed Member

    There are a lot of people that pass those saliva tests 100% of the time even though they are definitely dirty. Happens all the time at a clinic I go to so they also have to piss test.
  7.  
    PattyWagon

    PattyWagon Active Member

    Weird as shit I tell y'all. I just had the same experience as the OP. Got a job offer that I'm terribly under qualified for. Then BAM! Surprise saliva test. Wasn't currently blazed but do a everyday. Wouldnt ya know it I passed! These test suck!
  8.  
    madprofessor

    madprofessor New Member

    So she gave you this little swab that all you had to do was put it in your mouth to get some saliva on it and your stood there breathing on it for 20 mins. Were you not worried that you would look like some sort of retard?
  9.  
    Lemon king

    Lemon king Well-Known Member

    0)
    are you serious, a woman at work has told him to suck on some cotton. i dont think hes the retarded one eh?

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