How do you confuse an Irishman ?
- Thread starter WeeGogs
- Start date
MellowFarmer
Well-Known Member
Tell them they are in a 'Dry County'
jessy koons
New Member
Huh????????????????
Dislexicmidget2021
Well-Known Member
Just Hide his beer thats all ya gotta do,confusion wont be far behind
kang420
Well-Known Member
LOL us irish are well able to take a joke we having been taking them for decades. in fact we like to make these jokes and have a good laugh at our self's, we also make fun of anyone else whether they like it or not, in fact i couldent talk to anyone for any length of time without taking the piss outta them but its all in good fun and theres nothing they can do about it cause i am irish and take as much back in return
Heres one you might like,
Paddy the Englishman, Paddy the Irishman, Paddy the Scotsman, and Paddy the Welshman were all flying together in an airliner. The captain announced that they were losing altitude rapidly and that one of them would have to jump out to save the others.
"I do this for the glory of Scotland," said Paddy the Scotsman and he jumped out.
"We need to lose more weight," said the captain, so Paddy the Welshman shouted, "I do this for the glory of Wales," and jumped out.
"Sorry," said the captain. "I'm afraid we need to lose the weight of just one more person."
"I do this for the glory of Ireland," said Paddy the Irishman and threw out Paddy the Englishman.
Another:
Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street. Murphy falls in hole and hurts himself. He calls out, "Paddy, call me an ambulance".
Paddy starts jumping up and down clapping his hands yelling, "Murphy's an ambulance, Murphy's an ambulance".
Heres one you might like,
Paddy the Englishman, Paddy the Irishman, Paddy the Scotsman, and Paddy the Welshman were all flying together in an airliner. The captain announced that they were losing altitude rapidly and that one of them would have to jump out to save the others.
"I do this for the glory of Scotland," said Paddy the Scotsman and he jumped out.
"We need to lose more weight," said the captain, so Paddy the Welshman shouted, "I do this for the glory of Wales," and jumped out.
"Sorry," said the captain. "I'm afraid we need to lose the weight of just one more person."
"I do this for the glory of Ireland," said Paddy the Irishman and threw out Paddy the Englishman.
Another:
Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street. Murphy falls in hole and hurts himself. He calls out, "Paddy, call me an ambulance".
Paddy starts jumping up and down clapping his hands yelling, "Murphy's an ambulance, Murphy's an ambulance".
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
How many Irishmen ... lightbulb?
Five. One to hold the bulb and four to drink 'til the room starts a'spinning. cn
Five. One to hold the bulb and four to drink 'til the room starts a'spinning. cn
dvs1038
Well-Known Member
Ok well one time there was these really bad floods all over the southern states that run along the mississippi so the president, the pope, jesse jackson, and a grade school kid that wanted to meet the prez go up in the airplane to survey the damage. As they r flying over the pilot radios back and says they r goin down and they r gonna have to bail out and when they look at the chutes there r only 3 so the prez says 1st pope u need to take one cause if u die all the religious ppl will go crazy(well even crazier), and Jesse u take one cause if we lose u all ur ppl will riot, and finally the prez looks at the kid and says and kid u take the last one since ur the youngest u have ur whole life ahead of u, as he takes the chute and the others bail the kid says Mr. Prez I can't do this u must have the last chute. And the prez looks at the kid and says, Don't worry kid I gave the dumb nigger ur backpack.
WeeGogs
Active Member
i am irish and not confused, i would tell you to pick a shovel yourself and start digging your own grave
and where will you put the soil that is leftover, once i have been buried in the ground kang.
i know kang...... you will dig another hole and put it in it.
kang420
Well-Known Member
LOL good one, but you dont know much about putting someone in a hole, you see if you were going to do it right you would get a plank of wood and drive over and back until the soil is compacted and level with the ground again
And dvs1038 theres taking the piss outta someone and then theres calling them a "dumb nigger"
WeeGogs
Active Member
paddy applies for a job interview at the circus tent for the lion tamers job, he arrives and asks the ringmaster, "okay ringmaster, i am in the cage and the lion growls at me, what do i do",
the ringmaster replies "you pick up a whip and crack it hard toward the lion".
paddy replies "ok, i am in the cage and the lion gets high on his hind legs and GROWLS and SNARLS at me, what do i do now",
the ringmaster replies " you pick up a stool and thrust it in to the lions face" .
paddy replies " ok, what do i do if the lion lunges at me with teeth bared and a GROWL and a SNARL ,
the ringmaster replies " you pick up some shite and start throwing the shite at it"
paddy asks " what if there is no shite"
" oh, there will be plenty of that " said the ringmaster.
the ringmaster replies "you pick up a whip and crack it hard toward the lion".
paddy replies "ok, i am in the cage and the lion gets high on his hind legs and GROWLS and SNARLS at me, what do i do now",
the ringmaster replies " you pick up a stool and thrust it in to the lions face" .
paddy replies " ok, what do i do if the lion lunges at me with teeth bared and a GROWL and a SNARL ,
the ringmaster replies " you pick up some shite and start throwing the shite at it"
paddy asks " what if there is no shite"
" oh, there will be plenty of that " said the ringmaster.
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
That's why i prefer the story about the world's smartest man, the world's strongest man and a hippie.
After the world's smartest man declares his value to the species as a rationale for taking one of the two chutes and jumping, the hippie delights his remaining companion by laughing and saying, "Relax, man. The world's smartest man just jumped out with my backpack." cn
After the world's smartest man declares his value to the species as a rationale for taking one of the two chutes and jumping, the hippie delights his remaining companion by laughing and saying, "Relax, man. The world's smartest man just jumped out with my backpack." cn
WeeGogs
Active Member
the englishman, the scotsman, and irishman were caught in the jungle by homosexual cannibal pygmies, they say to the englishman " death or bunjy" the englishman is trembling and replies " Bunjy"
the pygmy shouts "bunjy" and they grab him and fuck him for 1 hour and let him go free.
the pygmies then say to the scotsman " death or bungy" after seeing what happened to the englishman he replies " i am as hard as nails i accept bunjy"
the pygmy shouts "bunjy bunjy" and they fuck him for 3 hours and let him go free.
the pygmies say to the irishman " death or bunjy " the irishman replies " i am the hardest bastard in the county of tyrone i accept death"
the pygmy shouts " death by bunjy bunjy bunjy "
the pygmy shouts "bunjy" and they grab him and fuck him for 1 hour and let him go free.
the pygmies then say to the scotsman " death or bungy" after seeing what happened to the englishman he replies " i am as hard as nails i accept bunjy"
the pygmy shouts "bunjy bunjy" and they fuck him for 3 hours and let him go free.
the pygmies say to the irishman " death or bunjy " the irishman replies " i am the hardest bastard in the county of tyrone i accept death"
the pygmy shouts " death by bunjy bunjy bunjy "
MellowFarmer
Well-Known Member
I visited your beautiful land over a decade ago -flew into Limerick then drove through many sheep lined narrow roads to fly out of Dublin and can tell a joke on myself who is a mutt of French and Irish and the Bad Irish aka that's what my mum says my last name signifies because it is supposedly English not Irish idk
but I did inherit the tolerance to alcohol and my mum is usually full of shit Imagine you are at your pub and a young dumb American twit who hasn't ventured to the west coast of America yet but is determined to never leave such a beautiful friendly land and thinks she is cute enough to pull it off skips over to you and asks Will you marry me?
Repeat scene way too many times every night absolutely certain I'd come across an Irish lad not squeamish at the thought of marrying me for citizenship. I even started adding You can still hook up with other chicks I just want citizenship it's cool
I only got laid once the entire week On a completely different topic, sorry, but I love your sig and will be using it as a thread title- why is this fact so covered up and not even properly celebrated or embraced as an awesome fucking fact by weed growers on weed growing forum? Cannabis Cures Cancer FACT
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
"sheep-lined narrow road"? Irish sex fantasy? cn
kang420
Well-Known Member
Thanks man, it seems the powers that be think we are a bunch of no good junkies that need some jail time rather than question big pharma If you go into bigger town and cites theres drunken slags everywhere to get laid, not many good irish girls left over here now tho most have got on a plane due to lack of workI visited your beautiful land over a decade ago -flew into Limerick then drove through many sheep lined narrow roads to fly out of Dublin and can tell a joke on myself who is a mutt of French and Irish and the Bad Irish aka that's what my mum says my last name signifies because it is supposedly English not Irish idk
MellowFarmer
Well-Known Member
Now it is
Quite the opposite- First off it was my mum who paid so I had to let her come along. As the Authority figure she got to simply refuse to drive which left moi as the only other able driver. With her tight schedule I was of course starting the days off just in from the pubs after a night of good Irish Whiskey (I do have to make fun of all the Irish I saw drinking Bud wtf?) I was driving on the wrong side of the road both hella thankful my good friend had moved to Boston and I that I had learned to love round a bouts and hella pissed at the rest of the car for not letting me turn my eyes from the road while they cooed and awed at the scenery.
You know though if I were into S&M it may have been
