1. Name Calling or general rude behavior is no longer acceptable in the Cafe, We are adults which means that we should be able to debate without resorting to name calling. Warnings will be given out if users fail to act appropriately.

How do I explain to my mother that smoking weed isn't that bad

Discussion in 'Toke N Talk' started by dmetal23, Oct 19, 2012.

  1.  
    dmetal23

    dmetal23 Member

    Hi everyone this is my first post and am looking forward to reading any and all response I get. I think this is in the right section... I put together that if I'm high and this is toke and talk then this is the appropriate place for this.

    I'd first like to begin by explaining the situation as specifically as possible because it is a bit ambiguous. Your answer will go straight to my mother, so I'm looking for an argumentative response based on evidence and ethics that is understandable to a scientifically illiterate middle-age woman whose first language isn't English preferable from soneone with smoking experience. Another bit of info is that she grew up in communist Hungary where weed was just a foreign concept to everyone, and she feels that if the rest of the family knew that I or her smoked weed, they would look down upon us... which doesn't really bother me at all, but she thinks of it more or less as the end of the world. She's smoked weed before, but doesn't care for it, but she understands the high it gives you.

    I am 18 years old and currently studying at my local university to obtain my bachelor's of science in Computer Science. My friends introduced me to weed three years ago in high school and I didn't care for it as much as they did at the time;I would probably smoke once every three or four months with them if they had some on them. I want to make it clear that she doesn't care if I smoke once in a blue moon, and she understands that she can't control my actions and has no intention of forcefully stopping me from smoking. She was actually proud that I didn't get "dependent" on it as she thinks most of my friends did by smoking more frequently.


    But as of this summer, I've picked up smoking quite a bit and have been smoking about an hour before I go to bed 5-6 days of the week. I find it relaxes me and helps me sleep after a stressful day of school and work, because usually I am very anxious about the next day so I have a somewhat difficult time getting to sleep. The reason I started smoking more in the summer was mainly because I lost practically all of my friends before starting university, so I hardly had anything to do, and I was getting very depressed with the current situation and started cynically thinking about the future. On the upside I also read two fantastic books on human consciousness and cognition, so the idea of changing my consciousness intrigued me and I remembered what weed had done for me before. Long story short, my mother picked up on my smoking habits and was devastated. I don't hide the fact that I smoke weed from her because I feel it would be an insult to her since she already knew I smoked with my friends. I respect her enough to be open about this, but I'll start hiding it if I need to. I just find it ridiculous that I have to hide something so petty.


    When I asked her for her reasoning, she understands that it isn't directly harmful to me as alcohol is when taken in small doses, and she says that isn't the main issue, although she believes that if I continue this habit, my brain will rot. She thinks I am addicted to it and can't stop smoking now even if I wanted to. She feels that because of this apparent addiction, I will likely drop out of school and suck cocks on Sepulveda Boulevard for a ham and cheese sandwich. My aunt, who happens to live with us, greatly influences her as well by saying it rots the brain and other nonsense. She's studying biology and my mom gives her far too much credibility with her nineteenth century logic.


    None of my habits changed, but my mom swears I am a different person and has lost all respect for me, which is dreadful to see from a son's point of view. The other day I fixed our $1500 monitor by taking it apart, replacing all the capacitors and resistors, and installing a new logic board. I brought the damned thing back to life by myself with no prior experience with soldering! So I call her over to take a look, hoping to make her happy, but what is the response? She says I smell like weed and asks if I'm high. Doesn't even acknowledge the monitor and just walks out and goes to sleep.


    I mean I don't plan on dropping out of school any time soon, and I currently have a 3.7gpa after midterms with probably one of the hardest majors in the university. I don't smoke when I study, I don't smoke at school, I don't smoke whenever I have work to do...Ladies and gentlemen I smoke weed before bed and watch YouTube videos until I get tired and fall asleep. Every single time my mom catches me high, I either get a speech about throwing away potential, an overdrawn yelling contest at who can scream their opinions the loudest, and in one instance she said if I was going to do this everyday, I would have to leave the house.


    Obviously, she is drawn to the irrational emotional side of the issue, and sure, what mom would say "Hell yeah, nigga. Pass that shit" when they see their son smoking. I never expected a positive response, but I wanted a neutral understanding. I would like you to help me reach that mutual understanding so that she can stop making me feel horrible about one of the few things that make me happy anymore.


    Much love and appreciation.
  2.  
    Trolling

    Trolling New Member

    If you're under her roof then yeah not much to argue at the moment since it's under her roof. If you're on you're own and independent and have already told her all the facts and myths and all the medical benefits and make sure to tell her about how it got illegal and how it's less harmful than alcohol. Other than that, if you're on your own, it honestly doesn't matter what she thinks, some people are just ignorant when it comes to certain drugs.
  3.  
    Carne Seca

    Carne Seca Well-Known Member

    Trolling hit the nail on the head. Her house, her rules. You can either prove her right and keep smoking which will ultimately end with you losing your happy home, OR, you can cease and desist until you get your own place. I don't know your circumstances but I'm assuming your mom pays the rent, utilities, groceries, property tax (if owner), most of the bills, your toiletries, most of your clothing and all the little bits and pieces that make life livable for you. I'm also guessing she supplies some supplemental cash whenever you run low. I'm not saying you're a mooch or somehow a bad person. But I think you're losing sight of the larger picture. Your mom makes a lot of sacrifices to give you a home. The least you can do is honor her wishes as long as you are living there.

    You yell at your mother? Seriously?
  4.  
    jamal01

    jamal01 Member

    I agree with all the above. Unless you do it outside of the house, dont come home baked, etc etc. Not worth tearing apart a happy home over something like weed. Wait till your independent.
  5.  
    woodsusa

    woodsusa Active Member

    You'll do better in school if you don't smoke. Wait till you get your degree.
  6.  
    lahadaextranjera

    lahadaextranjera Well-Known Member

    I'm half Hungarian and no my Dad did not like it. I never smoked a joint in front of him. He had some friends that smoked hash though. My parents had split up and I was quite rebellious. I lived with my Mum but decided to move out at 19 due to my antics. It wasn't fair on her and I had a cat and a dog too. My sister however never moved out and confined her puffing to her bedroom. It's their house so their rules I'm afraid.
  7.  
    Hepheastus420

    Hepheastus420 Well-Known Member

    Too long; Didn't read (well not all of it)

    Facts.. You should bring up all the facts. 375300_126523610796429_518384523_n.jpg

    Like the others said, her house her rules. But being honest, I used to break the rules. No big deal. My mom HATED it. She'd ask if I was smoking that "shit" or doing my dope still lol.

    My dad didn't care as long as I did stuff around the house and pitched in money for groceries and paid at least one bill.

    And stop yelling at your mom.. They can be frustrating but don't yell. Build up some patience man, and you might see a little more patience in your mom (unless she's like mine).

    Oh and above all, prove her wrong. Complete your goals, even though she thinks cannabis will steer you away. It sounds like she really loves ya dude. She sounds like she wants you to have a good life. Don't let her down.
  8.  
    newatit2010

    newatit2010 Well-Known Member

    All good advise. Stop yelling at your mom or I'll come whip your ass.
  9.  
    Granny weed

    Granny weed Well-Known Member

    Your mums just looking out for you that's what we mothers do, have some respect or her and her home you are still very young which means you still need her guidance, theirs a lot of people your age that haven't got that so don't throw it back at her. Oh and if you yelled at me I'd give you a slap your never to old for a slap off your mum I tell tell my boys that all the time!
  10.  
    MojoRison

    MojoRison Well-Known Member

    We can't give you what you want...a free pass to smoke.

    That will need to come from you and your discussions with mom. You're an adult {or soon will be}, time to start acting like one. Don't like being a prick but it's the truth.
  11.  
    tharoomman

    tharoomman Active Member

    I tell you what, you are gonna have a hard time getting past "its illegal". Thats what my parents won't budge on. Shit, if it was legal they wouldn't care a bit.
  12.  
    tharoomman

    tharoomman Active Member

    Just telling it like it is....however, we all were 18 once.
  13.  
    marc88101

    marc88101 Well-Known Member

    Yelling at your mom? Not cool! First off ALWAYS respect your mother. I never yell at women, period! I've been with my chick 6 years and she's never heard me raise my voice! Put the pipe down and get some respect! Your young, get a degree, move out, then smoke if you want....yelling at your mom, geez. Kids now a days!!!! And your dad allows this?
  14.  
    BigBuddahCheese

    BigBuddahCheese New Member

    Respect your mom and her decision. Where is your dad at?
  15.  
    copperheadroad1

    copperheadroad1 Active Member

    dude, start to roll your weed, go out side, light it up and get funky, but only if moms out. wouldnt want a lecture, again:wall:
  16.  
    ebgood

    ebgood Well-Known Member

    1- shes your mom
    +
    2- shes a girl
    =
    U aint gonna win.

    Bottom line is respect. Even if u were 40, if its her home, respect it. Period. good luck bruh
  17.  
    guy incognito

    guy incognito Well-Known Member

    I disagree about the "her house her rules". If she doesn't want you smoking in the house, then I believe that is a reasonable rule, but you are an adult and she can't control what you do outside of her walls. If it was me I would just sneak and do whatever I wanted, like I did.

    [​IMG]
  18.  
    Geronimo420

    Geronimo420 Well-Known Member

    Smoking is very bad for you young man you should stop right now & send me every buds you have left. Mom will be happy, I will be happy...
  19.  
    imchucky666

    imchucky666 Well-Known Member

    I agree with all the above, but Hep, I don't agree with your "patience". I think it is "respect" which is needed here.

    OP. Was it Canna or Carne that said 'think of all the sacrifices she makes for you'............... And has made in the past for that matter.
    You most likely would not be in college right now if not for your mom.
    Look back and think of all the things she either did for you, did not let you do, or made you do. All for a specific reason. YOUR well being.
  20.  
    guy incognito

    guy incognito Well-Known Member

    Doing your best does not mean you are right 100% of the time. The op is now old enough to start making his own decisions.

Share This Page