Great Stoner Quotes

I got a buddie that evertime we toke together he always says this.
"never eat a pussy that looks like a roast beef sandwich"
Allways in the middle of random conversation.

^^^yeah thats a given^^^

marijuana--a fragrantly burning weed that induces a giddy irreverence toward solemn authority figures, which probably explains why its possession is a criminal offense.........cynic's dictionary

Seemed like a good idea at the time......

"keep it like a VD... don't even tell the girl you fuck..." (my mate's analogy on keeping secrets)

I went around to a mates place the other day and he had this awesome lookin dog, I say, Whats his name?
He says
We called him Syphilis
WTF i say,
"Yeah the fuckin thing just wont heal"

an oldy but a goody

Somebody passes like three lighters around to three people.so they can have a lighter of their own but somehow someone ends up with all three of em or 1 lighter is missing and once everybody stands up they find one of the lighters under their leg. hah!

"hows about me an you makin a bastard" i shouted across the street to some random minter

"We're going to candy mountain charlie, yeah candy mountain!" The uncicorns say it in a high pitched voice.

Who,s Turns It To Fire One Up

We were all talking about what kind of cars we drive. One of my friends drives a mazda, so my brilliant stoner buddy said, "Well when people ask you what you drive you can just say I drive a Mazdarati." We all stared at him until we figured out he was trying to mix Mazda and Maserati. Priceless

tokinkracker said:

My hands can touch anything but themselves can touch anything but themselves... o wait.......

You know man, they call them fingers, but you never see them fing... O there they go

But daddys new medicine, which you can NEVER EVER use! lets him see and hear magical things.

- Medical Marijuana (simpsons)

Click to expand...

you're an idiot, the top line is from futurama... idiot.

In my opinion, Super Troopers has some of the best quotes.

Here's some of my friends & I - that I remember.

Myself [Implying my dad : after smoking ]: Marty is comin'.
Elaine: Where's he ?
Myself: ....
Elaine:...at.

[when making ramen noodles]
"JUST LET IT STEEP! THE STEEPING PROCESS!"

[when making mac and cheese]
"Just stir it, you know, every now and then."
Myself: "EVERY NOW & THEN?"

Yeah, then there was that time i hit that joint backwards.
hahaha I dono, so many funny things happen when u smoke.

You know you are high when you forget how long you have been holding the blunt.

you know your high when u can hear the blunt burning

"chicken fucker"
"meow"

hahahahah "liscnese and registration CHICKEN FUCKER!!!! BACOCK!!!!"

My favorite comes from my friend P.K. the 50 year old party man:

"Smoke that hog leg and see what happens."

He was always trying to quote Tombstone - "Skin that smoke wagon and see what happens."

Classic