Can someone who doesn't smoke last in a relationship with a chronic smoker

I quit smoking weed some twenty years ago, but now I'm in a serious relationship with a woman that smokes every day, several times a day, so I thought that trying it again would help bring us closer, or at least prevent us from drifting apart.

That was a mistake. Where we are we can't really predict what strain we will get. I've tried each of the some seven strains we've ended up with, and except for one it just basically makes me feel numb which I'm not fond of. That reminded me of why I quit twenty years ago to begin with. I feel really distant from her when she is getting high, which is most of the time unless she runs out.

Even if I had to keep doing it, it would be worth it if it makes her happy, but I don't really want to continue smoking, as the numb feeling just isn't pleasurable. I'm curious if anyone has any advice on how/whether I can stay in this relationship without smoking weed.

My first marriage last 18 years and I smoked and she did not, On my second now, 11 years and the same I smoke she doesn't.

Johnny1120 said:

I quit smoking weed some twenty years ago, but now I'm in a serious relationship with a woman that smokes every day, several times a day, so I thought that trying it again would help bring us closer, or at least prevent us from drifting apart.

That was a mistake. Where we are we can't really predict what strain we will get. I've tried each of the some seven strains we've ended up with, and except for one it just basically makes me feel numb which I'm not fond of. That reminded me of why I quit twenty years ago to begin with. I feel really distant from her when she is getting high, which is most of the time unless she runs out.

Even if I had to keep doing it, it would be worth it if it makes her happy, but I don't really want to continue smoking, as the numb feeling just isn't pleasurable. I'm curious if anyone has any advice on how/whether I can stay in this relationship without smoking weed.

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My wife just recently started smoking to help deal with some stress but the first four years she did not and i do. but I'm useually smoking when we are watching movies and things of that nature together. I never walk off and smoke alone. You don't have to be part of the smoking to be present during the smoking

You can get along great!

I would say if it bothers you then no it wont work

See if you can't get a rhythm and consider changing your expectations of her when she is so baked. do your own hobbies, alone time is fine.

So this is you bending over backwards to please your babe, and you not getting any pleasure out of it...?
Then don't do it, if you love her, and she you...? then endure, at least until you have found someone else.

Review your own"romantic" CV, would you date this guy? this guy who bends over backward to please his/her date?
does this mean that if your girl was a crack whore that you too would willfully become a crack guy..?

There is a lot in your post that you have willfully left out, thats your business,
but what else do you expect, coming to RIU and asking for a parachute?

The real question is... Why has she stuck with a guy like you?

don't forget guys
a woman never lies and guys never listens

How you react to her smoking is up to you.

I dont smoke more than the occasional hit or two a week but my girl smokes all the time she is my official tester and reviewer. Of course while she smokes im usually into the whiskey bottle, drinking some poppy tea, or perked out of it and she puts up with that. I guess its all about what you can deal with personally...

Johnny1120 said:

I quit smoking weed some twenty years ago, but now I'm in a serious relationship with a woman that smokes every day, several times a day, so I thought that trying it again would help bring us closer, or at least prevent us from drifting apart.

That was a mistake. Where we are we can't really predict what strain we will get. I've tried each of the some seven strains we've ended up with, and except for one it just basically makes me feel numb which I'm not fond of. That reminded me of why I quit twenty years ago to begin with. I feel really distant from her when she is getting high, which is most of the time unless she runs out.

Even if I had to keep doing it, it would be worth it if it makes her happy, but I don't really want to continue smoking, as the numb feeling just isn't pleasurable. I'm curious if anyone has any advice on how/whether I can stay in this relationship without smoking weed.

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yes worked for 13 years so far ........i smoke do to bi polar it is more effective then the drugs with less side effects
the lady i am with have been for 13 years she does not smoke and barely drinks ....... she has told me to shut up go outside smoke joint and come back in (my father inlaw has told me that) they have no issue with it

if u love the chick then it will not be a big deal .....just keep a eye on the spending if the amount increases then think about rehab or something .........but i smoked now for 23 years i use a OZ a month about 1 gram a day

and if u want to smoke with her look for strains high in CBDs not in THC .......CBDs are the medical end of the plant and are anti high feeling stuff so alot of them have been breed out so THC is high but last few years they been mixing it back into the strains for the medical use something 3 or 4 % cbds and 10-14% thc will be a nice mild stoned relaxed with out going into orbit

It will never work. Dump her ass and send her my way

Johnny1120 said:

I quit smoking weed some twenty years ago, but now I'm in a serious relationship with a woman that smokes every day, several times a day, so I thought that trying it again would help bring us closer, or at least prevent us from drifting apart.

That was a mistake. Where we are we can't really predict what strain we will get. I've tried each of the some seven strains we've ended up with, and except for one it just basically makes me feel numb which I'm not fond of. That reminded me of why I quit twenty years ago to begin with. I feel really distant from her when she is getting high, which is most of the time unless she runs out.

Even if I had to keep doing it, it would be worth it if it makes her happy, but I don't really want to continue smoking, as the numb feeling just isn't pleasurable. I'm curious if anyone has any advice on how/whether I can stay in this relationship without smoking weed.

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I feel the quality of your relationship shouldnt be judged that way. I know and have many friends with a happy love life while one smokes and dabs and im talking eights a day on a work day and the other doesnt. Not sure if it matters but all of them were heavy smokers at one point. I dont see nothing wrong as long as it is a responsible and logical couple.

My girlfriend and I smoke all the time, and do psychedelics together. We plan on continuing this because it's fun to do together.

justugh said:

yes worked for 13 years so far ........i smoke do to bi polar it is more effective then the drugs with less side effects
the lady i am with have been for 13 years she does not smoke and barely drinks ....... she has told me to shut up go outside smoke joint and come back in (my father inlaw has told me that) they have no issue with it

if u love the chick then it will not be a big deal .....just keep a eye on the spending if the amount increases then think about rehab or something .........but i smoked now for 23 years i use a OZ a month about 1 gram a day

and if u want to smoke with her look for strains high in CBDs not in THC .......CBDs are the medical end of the plant and are anti high feeling stuff so alot of them have been breed out so THC is high but last few years they been mixing it back into the strains for the medical use something 3 or 4 % cbds and 10-14% thc will be a nice mild stoned relaxed with out going into orbit

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Thanks, if we're ever living in an area where we can pick the strain, I'll consider your advice.

vostok said:

So this is you bending over backwards to please your babe, and you not getting any pleasure out of it...?
Then don't do it, if you love her, and she you...? then endure, at least until you have found someone else.

Review your own"romantic" CV, would you date this guy? this guy who bends over backward to please his/her date?
does this mean that if your girl was a crack whore that you too would willfully become a crack guy..?

There is a lot in your post that you have willfully left out, thats your business,
but what else do you expect, coming to RIU and asking for a parachute?

The real question is... Why has she stuck with a guy like you?

Click to expand...

Of the advice I got, yours was probably the hardest to read, but the most useful. I was pretty afraid to tell her that I didn't like the high I was getting because she seemed to be adamant that she wanted me to smoke with her and wouldn't understand why I didn't like it. I've since talked to her about it, and while she doesn't understand why I don't like it (she said that she has never heard of anyone just getting numb) our relationship has thus far survived.

....don't forget guys a woman never lies and guys never listens

Johnny1120 said:

Of the advice I got, yours was probably the hardest to read, but the most useful. I was pretty afraid to tell her that I didn't like the high I was getting because she seemed to be adamant that she wanted me to smoke with her and wouldn't understand why I didn't like it. I've since talked to her about it, and while she doesn't understand why I don't like it (she said that she has never heard of anyone just getting numb) our relationship has thus far survived.

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So what do you do ..to let your hair down, and use that time for you letting her do her thing

vostok said:

So what do you do ..to let your hair down, and use that time for you letting her do her thing

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Usually when she is smoking a bowl, I smoke cloves. She usually is smoking a cigarette also when she smokes weed, so it works out. I don't I ever have to do anything specific to let my hair down, unless you count meditation. I just do.

justugh said:

yes worked for 13 years so far ........i smoke do to bi polar it is more effective then the drugs with less side effects
the lady i am with have been for 13 years she does not smoke and barely drinks ....... she has told me to shut up go outside smoke joint and come back in (my father inlaw has told me that) they have no issue with it

if u love the chick then it will not be a big deal .....just keep a eye on the spending if the amount increases then think about rehab or something .........but i smoked now for 23 years i use a OZ a month about 1 gram a day

and if u want to smoke with her look for strains high in CBDs not in THC .......CBDs are the medical end of the plant and are anti high feeling stuff so alot of them have been breed out so THC is high but last few years they been mixing it back into the strains for the medical use something 3 or 4 % cbds and 10-14% thc will be a nice mild stoned relaxed with out going into orbit

Click to expand...

Is Blue Dream high in CBDs? We're on a trip and she got that strain, and I tried it to get rid of a headache (being numb all over being better than a migraine). Well it got rid of my headache almost immediately, but it was also an eye opener. I mean that literally, it was like drinking 10 cups of coffee and getting a full body massage at the same time. I might like it a little too much as I pretty much replaced my coffee during the day with it. I was just curious if CBD content might be why I have such a different reaction. From what I've gathered its the only sativa dominant strain I've ever tried, so that might also have something to do with it.