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All your shitty jokes

Discussion in 'Toke N Talk' started by Karah, Mar 6, 2017.

  1.  
    Karah

    Karah Well-Known Member

    Who creeped on this thread? :oops:
     
  2.  
    HydroRed

    HydroRed Well-Known Member

    Little Boy Blue....he needed the money...Ooohhh!

    This one is so old....it might just be funny again-
    A man goes to an Indian reservation to find a legit buffalo tracker for his buffalo hunting expedition.
    Once on the trip, they are walking the plains and the Indian abruptly stops, puts his ear to the ground and says "buffalo come".
    The man who hired the Indian tracker gets excited and they continue walking the plains.
    After another mile or so the Indian abruptly stops and puts his ear to the ground again and says "buffalo come".
    The man who hired the tracker is getting really excited now & begins asking a bunch of questions in his excitement, but the Indian says nothing more and continues to walk the plains.
    After another mile or so the Indian once again stops abruptly, puts his ear to the ground and says "buffalo come".
    Now the guy that hired the Indian is getting annoyed and demands to know how the Indian knows the "buffalo come"!
    The Indian replies "ear stick to ground".
     
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2017
  3.  
    BarnBuster

    BarnBuster Virtually Unknown Member

  4.  
    Bareback

    Bareback Well-Known Member

    Confusest say man who beat around bush get sticky leaves.
     
  5.  
    ChingOwn

    ChingOwn Well-Known Member

    Outhouse wall on the Texas New Mexico boarder

    Here I sit buns a flexin givin birth to another Texan


    A kiss may make your day but anal will make your hole weak :)
     
  6.  
    lokie

    lokie Well-Known Member

  7.  
    BudmanTX

    BudmanTX Well-Known Member

    What did the blind man say when passed the fish market?
    Hello Ladies!
     
    haight and v.s one like this.
  8.  
    BudmanTX

    BudmanTX Well-Known Member

    An elderly couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"

    Martha replied, "Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason.

    Henry was obviously hurt by his wife's confession, but said, "I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by 'good reasons?'"

    Martha said, "The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn't pay the mortgage.

    Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?"

    Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, "I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?"

    Martha asked, "And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn't have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge."

    "I recall that," said Henry. "And you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time."

    "Alright," Martha said. "So do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes?"
     
  9.  
    BudmanTX

    BudmanTX Well-Known Member

  10.  
    lokie

    lokie Well-Known Member

  11.  
    Grandpapy

    Grandpapy Well-Known Member

  12.  
    Steve French

    Steve French Well-Known Member

    Are we moving to joke songs? I got a couple crackers.



    Mah niggas from Glace Bay.
     
    srh88 likes this.
  13.  
    BudmanTX

    BudmanTX Well-Known Member

  14.  
    BudmanTX

    BudmanTX Well-Known Member

    23658429_10214834512882888_2495713848782874154_n.jpg
     
    Bareback and Karah like this.
  15.  
    tangerinegreen555

    tangerinegreen555 Well-Known Member

    what do you call two nuts on a wall?

    walnuts.

    what do you call two nuts on a chest?

    chestnuts.

    what do you call two nuts on a chin?

    a blow job.
     
    haight, Bareback, whitebb2727 and 2 others like this.
  16.  
    dstroy

    dstroy Well-Known Member

    Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the bathroom?

    They're all dead.

    Just kidding, it's because the P is silent. :shock:
     
  17.  
    tangerinegreen555

    tangerinegreen555 Well-Known Member

  18.  
    v.s one

    v.s one Well-Known Member

    What's the coldest part of a mans body?



    His balls.




























    Because there 2 below.
     
  19.  
    whitebb2727

    whitebb2727 Well-Known Member

    I heard it a little different. You are asking a person those question and on the last one its "a dick in your mouth".
     
  20.  
    BudmanTX

    BudmanTX Well-Known Member

    The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession.
    "Of course, my son," said the priest.
    "Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her."
    "That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest.
    "It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors," continued the old man.
    "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk - you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest.
    "Thanks, Father," said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?"
    "Of course, my son," said the priest.
    The old man asked, "Do I need to tell her that the war is over?"
     
    Bareback likes this.

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