When my ex-girlfriend called me and told me her grandma died in mcdonalds from a heart attack.

Yeah, I said EX girlfriend.

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- NO TELL
- NO SMELL
- NO SELL

Bubble slow and you'll get it eventually.

i cant remember

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In the quest for the test to fulfill an achievement, everybody's only loaded just to shoot themselves, when the fact of the matter is they just don't care, to extend a helping hand to anyone else

haha all bad

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+ =

once i was headed to a carne asada (barbecue) with my girl but before we get there we decided to smoke a j . we get to the house and my friends uncle was on the grill . he knows we smoke. so he starts telling a joke i dont know if you ever heard it it the one were they crucify chuyito and he get a bone. ok any way my girl starts laffing before my friends uncle gets to the second the second sentence. i look at her cause shes laffing so hard i start to laf the where both cracking up i cant stop laffing at her and she cant stop laffing at the joke. he hasnt even finished telling the joke. were both laffing so hard we cant even hear what hes saying .
so funny so funny at least for us at that moment
the joke wasnt even that funny

i was chilling at the abraxis coffee shop in amsterdam.. i must have eaten about three or four space cakes with the hash in them, and was smoking some killer mako haze i had picked up.. i started a conversation with this kid that was sitting right next to me.. he turned out to be a german guy who was living in i think switzerland... now, they had a big painting on the wall behind us of earth.. kinda like a big map.. i was just in germany and belgium to see the formula one car race, so i thought i would ask this guy about other countries that i have never been in that formula one also races in.. started out talking about i think malaysia and maybe bahrain.. this kid was sooo impresive with his knowledge of europe.. knew like where the peoples of each country had migrated from, what the countries did for money... would tell me that this country was super rich.. get all of their money from oil... blah blah blah.. super intelligent guy... so then i asked him about turkey as they now have a race there and i was thinking about maybe checking it out one year.. i try to make it to a different race in a new country every year.. so this guy goes on to tell me about how he lived in turkey as a small boy.. he says that turkey is just four ghettos.. and each one is owned by a different king, and goes into all kinds of crazy descriptions about how poor the people in turkey are.. he says that you would be sitting in your house at night, and all of a sudden all of the electricity would just go off.. he would look out of his window and the one ghetto that he lived in, no power at all.. he told me that they were so poor and all that they couldn't afford to keep the whole city light up and one time and how each night each ghetto would go dark for several hours at a time.. just the way that this guy was telling the story, and just how good those hash brownies were and that mako haze.. i could hardly sit on my stool.. one of those times where you can't even breath.. i looked at him and he was cracking up as much as i was... i looked over to the budtender and she was just looking at us like we were both nuts and out of our heads, and the more that she looked at us the more we laughed.. it was one of the funniest times in my life.... that is why i love to travel and meet new and interesting people.. sometimes life can be really good..

I got caught staring at a small person. I was baked. The little fella locked on to me. He gave me the finger did a little dance and ran off. This was at a mall. I had random episodes of spontaneous laughs throughout the whole week.

that and when me and a friend discovered Soulja girl on the internet.

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Freedom Against Tyranny

oh wow thats funny as hell

mine was when my freind (fatty) was passed on on my buddy (guy)s couch an me an guy smoked a bowl an i went up to fatty with a airsoft shotgun an cocked it an fatty woke up an jumped litterly a good foot in the air came down an hit the edge of the bed an fell on the floor.

these two are among the top two:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0ObuD7PsOs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIrq_wnNNnY