Doctor went fishin one day and not wanting to close the surgery he left his assistant Murphy in charge.

When Doc came back he asked Murphy how it was and Murphy told him.

"I had 3 patients. 1st patient had a headache so I gave her paracetamol"

"Good man" says the doctor

"2nd patients had indigestion so I gave her antacids."

"Well done" the doc says

"3rd patient was a gorgeous woman who burst into the room. She took all her clothes off and lies on the table, she spreads her legs and shouts "Please please please help me. Ive not seen a man in 5 years"

"Mother of fuck Murphy, what did you do" asked the doctor

Then Murphy answers "I put drops in her eyes"

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"Dope will get you through times of no money, better than money will get you through times of no dope" (Freewheeling Franklin)

Sex therapists say that the most effective way a woman can arouse a man is to spend ten minutes licking his ear.

Personally, I think its bollocks!

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"Dope will get you through times of no money, better than money will get you through times of no dope" (Freewheeling Franklin)

Disabled swimming gala.

50 Mtrs freestyle.

Lane 1, bloke with no arms

Lane 2, bloke with no legs

Lane 3, just a head.

Gun goes off and they all dive in. Bloke with no legs takes the lead from the armless bloke. The head sinks to the bottom.

Armless bloke pips the legless bloke to win the race.

They fish the head out and asked what happend.

The head spluttered and sccreamed "6 FUCKIN months to learn to swim with my ears and some cunt puts a fucking swimming cap on me."

__________________
"Dope will get you through times of no money, better than money will get you through times of no dope" (Freewheeling Franklin)

gr8 shit bro

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http://www.rollitup.org/indoor-growi...ml#post3256519
http://www.rollitup.org/indoor-growi...ml#post3267187

Jeff and Jim are siamese twins joined at the hip.

They walk into a bar in New York and order a couple of beers..

Barman serves them and says "You guys been on vacation yet?"

Jeff says "We're off to England next week. We go every year."

Barman says "England's great, the culture, the history, the Queen."

Jeff says "We don't go for all that shit, its the only chance Jim gets to drive a car."

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"Dope will get you through times of no money, better than money will get you through times of no dope" (Freewheeling Franklin)

The 7 Dwarves went to meet the pope. "Go on dopey ask him" Chanted the other six"

"OK" said dopey "Sir are there any Nuns in Alaska." "Yes my child." answers the pope

The other six Dwarves egg dopey on "Sir, are there any black nuns in Alaska." "Yes my child" answers the pope.

Again the other six dwarves insist dopey continue "Sir, are there any black midget nuns in Alaska." "No my child, I don't believe there are." Replies the Pope

The other six dwarves jump up and down and start singing "Dopey fucked a penguin, Dopey fucked a penguin."

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"Dope will get you through times of no money, better than money will get you through times of no dope" (Freewheeling Franklin)

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street. Paddy isn't paying much attention to where he's walking, and subsequently he falls down a manhole.

Murphy is shocked, and shouts down 'Paddy? Paddy? Is it dark down there?'

Paddy replies 'I dunno, I can't see!'

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English man, Scottish man and Irish man walk into a bar,

English man orders a pint of beer

Scottish man orders a whiskey


Irish man say "Ouch"

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"Dope will get you through times of no money, better than money will get you through times of no dope" (Freewheeling Franklin)