Three men who were all on their honeymoons were chatting at a bar and each one reckons he'll make love to his wife the most that night.

They decide to let each other know the number of times by the amount of toast they order at breakfast in the morning so their wives wont get suspicious.

So the next morning the first man comes down and orders three bits of toast,

the second man comes down and orders four bits of toast and looks pleased with himself until the 3rd man comes down and says in a loud voice

"I'd like six slices of toast and make two of them brown."

__________________
"Dope will get you through times of no money, better than money will get you through times of no dope" (Freewheeling Franklin)

Finally the 5 answers we have all been waiting for.


1:
Q: What are the small bumps around a womans nipples for ?

A: Its braille for suck here


2:
Q: Whats an Australian kiss ?

A: Its the same as a French kiss but down under.


3:
Q: Why are hurricanes named after woman ?

A: Because when they cum they are wet and wild, but when they leave they take the house and car.


4:
Q: Why do girls rub their eyes when they wake ?

A: Because they don't have balls to scratch.


5:
Q: Whats a mans ultimate embarrassment ?

A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.

__________________
"Dope will get you through times of no money, better than money will get you through times of no dope" (Freewheeling Franklin)

The big bad wolf said " I will huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in."

The little pigs said "Fuck off or I will sneeze on you."

__________________
"Dope will get you through times of no money, better than money will get you through times of no dope" (Freewheeling Franklin)

A woman was in a coma for several months. One day the nurses noticed a slight response when washing her pussy.

They rushed to the husband and explained suggesting a little oral sex might help bring her round to which he agreed.

A few minutes later her monitor flat lined. The nurses rushed in and asked "What happened ?"

The Husband said "I'm not sure, she may have chocked."

__________________
"Dope will get you through times of no money, better than money will get you through times of no dope" (Freewheeling Franklin)

hahahahh nice those are some good ones. Made me laugh a good bit. I like the last one, and the honeymoon one.

Paddy's wife comes home from work to find all her sex toys have been nailed to the wall.

She shouts "You fucking useless twat, I said I wanted a dado rail!"

__________________
"Dope will get you through times of no money, better than money will get you through times of no dope" (Freewheeling Franklin)

I found out recently than my gran had made a porno film.

I dont know what disgusted me more, the fact that she made it or the fact that I carried on wanking after I recognised her.

__________________
"Dope will get you through times of no money, better than money will get you through times of no dope" (Freewheeling Franklin)

A woman in a super market notices a young assistant.

He has such a cute arse it makes her randy.

She asks him to carry her bags to the car.

On the way she cant hold back anymore and says "I've got an itchy pussy"

He says "Youll have to point it out, all these japanese cars look the same to me"

__________________
"Dope will get you through times of no money, better than money will get you through times of no dope" (Freewheeling Franklin)

Did you know that 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

__________________
"Dope will get you through times of no money, better than money will get you through times of no dope" (Freewheeling Franklin)

I broke my record for continual sex a while back, 1 hour and 2 mins, I'm the man I thought.

Then I realsied the fucking clocks went forward.

__________________
"Dope will get you through times of no money, better than money will get you through times of no dope" (Freewheeling Franklin)