this guy walks into a bar and starts talking to the bartender. he ends up betting the bartender 50 bucks that he can piss in a bottle on the floor while standing on a bar stool with out missing a drop. the bartender aceepts knowing that its nearly impossable to do it with out missing. so the guy starts peeing but he dosent even aim for the bottle he starts spraying his waste water every where around the bar. the bartender gets excited cuz he just won 50 buck hes all happy with big smiles. but then he noticed that the guy has a huge smile on his face also. so the bartender askes him why hes so happy after losing the bet........ the man replys well i bet my freind 500$ saying i could hop up on this stool and piss every where and have the bartender be happy about it.



hahahaha yea i know its corny

That jokes from the film Desparado, a tarentino i think, its sounds alot funnier in the film tho with the actions lol. Good film

A homeless guy struts into his local bar.

"Hey Joe" he says to the barman.

"Hows things, Frank?" Joe asks.

"Great! You know how I live under the bridge now? On my way home the other night, I found a young lady tied to the railway track. I quickly freed her and carried her off the tracks to where I sleep. Then we had the most mind-blowing sex Ive ever had all night long. Ive never done anything like it before in my life," says the bum with a cracking smile.

"Wow! Was she pretty?" enquires Joe.

"Dunno," replies the bum. "I never found the head."

A guy walks into a bar,
He sits down and asks for a beer. As the bartender pours it, a one foot tall man in an impeccable suit climbs out of the man's pocket and walks down the bar. He jumps from the bar to the jukebox and then to the piano in the corner, where he then stands on the stool and plays perfect Mozzart.

The bartender, who has been staring in amazement, asks, "Where'd you find the little guy?"

" Well, I was walking on the beach yesterday when I found this brass lamp." The man says, pulling the lamp from his other pocket." I thought, what the hell, so I rubbed it and made a wish."

The bartender says, "No way! Let me have that!" Whereupon he grabs the lamp and starts rubbing.

The man yells,"Wait!" But it's too late.

The bartender says," I WISH FOR A MILLION BUCKS!"

Next thing you know they're swimming in a sea of ducks the size of a city block. Feathers flying, shit everywhere.

The bartender cries,"THIS isn't what I wished for!"

The man replies," Really, Dumbass? Do you think I wished for a 12" PIANIST?"

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