So im kickin it in the basement with my roomate havin a nice little smoke session. were bullshit around and i say "Dude quinn, when are you gonna get youre beard back to that mountain man status" Q replies "idk man, the ladies don't seem to like it that much...and papa quinn needs all he can get"
me "Fuck that dude, think about how cool that'd be at work, (we both work at a call center) i cant wait to see your greasy ass reclined in your chair diggin at that shit"
Quinn says " Yeaaah, but then its gonna be gettin in the way of the fuckin microphone"
i say "Dude...thats the best part...check it out, someone is yellin at you...you take that fuckin microphone and rub it all over your beard...wait...what was that...i can't hear you dude....what? hold on man im catchin some major beard static. do it a couple more times and than you say ...i got it sorry about that."

so we started doing that at work, and funniest part about it...only one person is like "what the hell is beard static" to which i smoothly replied "it's an industry term, dont worry about it" i urge you all to try out beard static...maybe on your mom...your grandma would be funnier