What are some of the most stupid things you have said or thought while stoned?

I'll get us underway.

While cooking something in the microwave, I said to my girlfriend damn that microwave is loud maybe i should turn it down on the volume button.

I actually thought the timer dial was a volume dial

"Why am i here"

My cell phone sits on the table were my notebook sits.
Sometimes I grab my cell phone instead of my cordless mouse.
I'll sit there moving it back and forward for a while before I notice it's my cell phone. LOL

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Everything I read and say on this sight is for entertaiment purposes only. I have never grown or plan to grow marijuana, my sparse knowledge comes from what i have watched and or read on this and other sights on the internet.


First harvest - 26.5 pounds - Grown with 2 flashlights and a picture of the sun. 14.95 plus shipping for a how to video.
See BIGMIKE13's thread for complete details.

today i did another

I went to maccy d's and went through the drive thru.

I ordered the meal and then paid, i sat there for a few minutes looking at the girl working the window all confused, she asked what was up and I said isnt that my bag with the straws n stuff in, she said no, yours is between your legs.

Smoking definately nulls the brain

Lmao! Thats krazee sh!!t.

Mr. Dro

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I do that shit all the time at work. I'm like WTF? Why isn't the arrow moving!!!!

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"We have wasted history like a bunch of drunks shooting dice back in the men's crapper of the local bar."~Charles Bukowski
Rubber Johnny

i was in my garage playing with my motorcycle. i was sitting on it with it running in neutral. i was revving the engine and pretending i was flying down the road. after a few minutes of make believe i stood up and leaned it over onto the kickstand. woops, kickstand wasn't down. it fell over in between my legs. broke 2 lights.

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i'm the guy i've always wanted to be

I have a pregnant dog who loves to snack on a bite of cat food. Well, I was completely baked and went into the kitchen to get her a handfull of catfood. While on my way my mind wandered and was pondering the mysteries of the universe. I grabbed up a handfull of food and was walking back to where she was waiting and ended up bring my hand to my mouth and getting a rather large bite. I made it through about 4 chews before I realized what was happening. Chews 1-3 all I could think was "mmmmm, crunchy!"

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^^^Now thats some funny shit^^^

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"We have wasted history like a bunch of drunks shooting dice back in the men's crapper of the local bar."~Charles Bukowski
Rubber Johnny

I was watching sport center on ESPN and was listening to the recaps for the day. For the first time I thought to myself how cool of a job it would be to read the highlights for the day and get paid. In addition to that I noticed for the first time that they have music in the background when they are showing video highlights. I thought to myself that this is the job I wanted: To make the music that's played during the highlights.