A few days ago I was stoned with my friends Matt and Julius. We just came out from a little path after getting baked out of our minds.
So, we're walking down the street, and I turn around and see Julius waving at a window so I'm like, "Dude, Julius, why are you waving at that window!?" and he was like "I swear to God I saw a fucking person in there!" So I'm like, "If there's people in there then why did you wave at complete strangers!?" and he was like "I just wanted to say hi!"
5-10 minutes later we're at the convenience store buying a drink and a couple packs of gum. I had a bottle of Axe in my pocket, so when I was paying for the stuff, the Korean woman was like "What's that in your pocket?" so I'm like, "Oh, a bottle" so she's like, "What kind of bottle?" so Matt cuts in and is like "It's his deodorant! It's his deodorant!" so I'm like "Yeah! It's my deodorant bottle!" so she just looks at me like an idiot and I'm totally confused for a couple of minutes until Matt literally pulls the bottle out of my pocket to show her.
Then we were at McDonald's 10 minutes later, and it took me about 5 minutes just to pay. Counting change is a bloody chore when you're stoned.

watching the florida oklahoma game my friend turns to me after smoking a few bowls n a few more lol with a bag of lays chips in his hands he says ima couch baked potato!!!!!!!

retired toker, that kind of made me depressed how fast your life seemed to go by thankfully ive got a longgggg way to go..i hope

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For 400 dollars I got Jerry Garcia in a pouch, man!

"pizza guys!!! Those sons of bitches!!!"

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Killin' yall niggas on that lyrical shit. mayonaise colored benz, I push miracle whips

"Fuck i'm stoned... let'S smoke another joint"
unbelievable how funny tht was when my friend first mumbled it out in a stoned daze

"I'm in Terminator mode."

If people think same way as animals and robots, life would be much better.

man... me and a buddy that i would get high with more than anyone else would always park his car by this lake and just chill and watch people and get baked. Man, my buddy would always do this thing: he'd pop his head up, like sitting straight up, and look EVERYWHERE, like 360 degrees. Just out of nowhere. I would be taking a hit off whatever we happened to have, and he'd just pop up and do this. So i eventually just stopped mid hit and looked at him and said, "dude... just quit that. you look like a fucking meer-cat man. why don't you go on animal planet or some shit with that crazy act man."

From then on we've never forgot it. IF ever there's a reasonable situation, he'll just bust out with "you look like a meer-cat"

I had a girlfriend recently who said, "Everytime I close my eyes it's like I'm dreaming" (because we were super high) lmao

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Pack bowl, light lighter, blastoff.

"sorry Abel's mom, i'm baked."

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Cali love. Cali pride. alxndRARtgallery