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  #1  
Old 04-09-2007, 01:12 AM
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Default Stoner Joke

A certain college professor was notorious for getting off the topic of the lecture, and on to his favorite subject: the evils of smoking . Off he went one day into his inventory of horrors, "Used regularly," he explained, "pot can cause psychic disorientation, sterility, cancer and castration!"
"Now wait a minute, professor," interrupted a student. "Castration? That's absurd!"
"Yes young man, it's sadly true," replied the professor smugly. "Just suppose your friend gets the munchies!"



This joke is pretty funnny it is tight
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  #2  
Old 06-03-2007, 11:15 PM
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I think im to stoned coz i dont get it lol
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  #3  
Old 06-03-2007, 11:50 PM
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if ur friend got the munchies he would eat ur nuts man lol pretty funny
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  #4  
Old 06-04-2007, 09:59 AM
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the professor obviousley doesn't smoke huh
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  #5  
Old 06-04-2007, 10:15 AM
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Two old stoned hippies, Videoman and Roseman are sitting on the small boat pier, at the Okeefanokee swamp in Florida, sharing one of Videoman's Mazer Joints, getting wasted. They have removed their shoes and are dangling their feet in the warm swampy water.
Then Videoman rolls a 2nd Joint and they smoke it. After about a half hour of silence Roseman turns to Videoman and says:
Hay, Man, one of these damned alligators just bite my leg off"!!!

Videoman replies "which one?"

to which Roseman answers: "Hell, I don't know, all of these alligators look alike to me"~!!!!
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  #6  
Old 06-04-2007, 10:21 AM
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^^^that is funnier than the original joke!^^^
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  #7  
Old 06-04-2007, 12:05 PM
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One time there was this monkey, in the jungle, up in a tree, smoking a joint, getting wasted.
Down on the ground below, a lizzard, a good sized lizzard about 18 inches long, walks by and smells the smoke. He looks up and sees the money smoking a J and says

"Hey, you up there, Monkey, I wish I could hit that joint with you".

Being a cool dude and friendly and very very high, the monkey replies

"well, sure, Lizzard, can you climb this tree and get up here?"
and the lizzard says
"Yes, I am on my way up" and the lizzard climbs the tree and finishes the joint with the monkey.

Then the monkey says
" Hey, Lizzard, do you want to smoke another one?" and the lizzard says
"yea, sure, but I got cotton mouth so bad I can barely talk. Is there any water around here?"
Monkey says "yea, sure, right on the other side of those trees is a big river full of water, go get yourself a drink and hurry back and I'll have one rolled and ready when you get back" .
So the lizzard finds his way to the river, but being so stoned, he slips and falls in at the edge.
"HELP, Help" the lizzard cries, "Save me, I am drowning and I can not swim" !

About that time a ten foot long alligator swims by and yells
"Hold on little cousin, I'll save you" and the alligator swims up to the lizzard, lifts him up on his nose and carries him to the river bank and lets him go on to the land.
The lizzard says "Oh thank you, thank you cousin, I was so stoned from smoking some good reefer that I slipped and fell in the river".
The alligator says "Cousin, I wish I could smoke some good reefer too"
and the lizzard replies
"There is a very friendly monkey up in a tree with a bag full of some killer weed, on the other side of those trees. Just follow the smell, find the monkey and ask him. he's friendly and will gladly share. I'm too stoned to smoke any more".
So the alligator follows his nose to the other side of the trees, smells the smoke, looks up, and yells
"Hey, let me hit that joint with you"
the Monkey looks down and says

" Good God Lizzard, how much water did you drink? " !!!!!!!
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Last edited by Roseman; 06-04-2007 at 12:09 PM.
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  #8  
Old 06-04-2007, 12:07 PM
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Now thats hilarious!!!
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  #9  
Old 06-04-2007, 12:09 PM
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lol thats pretty funny ^
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  #10  
Old 06-05-2007, 07:33 PM
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LOL @ Roseman

I laughed so hard, thanks for that.
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