Don't feel bad Jamie...I had a dream I was doin my mom one night...it really freaked me out. I wasn't right all damn day.

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"We have wasted history like a bunch of drunks shooting dice back in the men's crapper of the local bar."~Charles Bukowski
Rubber Johnny

Thanks... I dont feel bad. You cant always control what goes on.
I had a dream one night that I was preforming oral sex on a friend that had a green, disease infested crotch...eww. In my dream I really enjoyed it. HAHA. I couldnt get that outta my head for a while.

I guess because I'm an ex-addict I ALWAYS have dreams about doing drugs. Anything from smoking meth to banging Oxy's. I always have the shit in my hand and am sooooooo close to getting to do them, but something always happens and I can't. It's really frustrating

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"We have wasted history like a bunch of drunks shooting dice back in the men's crapper of the local bar."~Charles Bukowski
Rubber Johnny

That sucks. .

I dream a lot about people who have passed away and I was close to them or old friends that I have lost contact with over the years. Sometimes you wake up and it seems so real like you really got to hang out with that person. I always wonder if it is a message or maybe they are thinking of me.. I don't know but dreams are fascinating.

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Yeah I have dreams about my deceased father alot. In the dreams he NEVER talks to me...he's just there...watching. I like to think that he is just checking in on me from time to time.

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"We have wasted history like a bunch of drunks shooting dice back in the men's crapper of the local bar."~Charles Bukowski
Rubber Johnny

I totally believe thats really them visiting you. When my Dad committed suicide he wrote everyone notes but me. Like around 20. Including my two sisters. We had been in a lil spat 2 months before and I told him not to write me again until he grows up... well he didnt write. So I was so upset, cause I felt like there was no closure. One day I while I was hiking on the Napali Coast (which we often did together) I spoke out loud and asked if he could help me find closure. That night, he came to me in my dream. I pulled up at his house, he walked out and we hugged and we both started crying and the hug felt like it lasted forever... he said that he was sorry for what he did and he will always love me and be there for me. I woke up in tears but, therapeutically it really helped.
My Mema died Dec 23, she was like my mom, my role model and I was with her when she died. I usually dream about her every night. The one that sticks out most I had about 2 weeks ago, she said "This is great, I get to see you anytime I want now." It really made me sad but at the same time made me happy because I feel she is always near me.

One time...right after I moved to Tampa...I happened across some Oxy's through a friend of a friend. I figured what the hell...one won't get me addicted again...so I got it. All went well and of course I proceeded to get fucked up that night. Anyways..after I finally made it to sleep, I had a dream that my dad was in my apartment. He never said a word to me, but I got this really strong feeling that he was angry with me. He never said a word.......when I woke up I felt so dissapointed in myself for doing the Oxy. I felt like I was 10 years old again and my dad had just reprimanded me for doing some dumb shit. I haven't touched another one since.

This is significant because when my dad passed, I was still a junkie and he knew it. It wasn't until after he passed that I cleaned myself up. I truly believe that was his way of showing me that he was dissapointed with my actions.

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"We have wasted history like a bunch of drunks shooting dice back in the men's crapper of the local bar."~Charles Bukowski
Rubber Johnny

.
Atleast you havent touched another one since.

Indeed

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"We have wasted history like a bunch of drunks shooting dice back in the men's crapper of the local bar."~Charles Bukowski
Rubber Johnny