Last night I was in my office and walked into the bedroom to find my wife with my iPhone. She put it down like she wasn't reading it and right on the screen was a text conversation I was having with a friend. The crappy thing is that the conversation is me asking him to save his bag seeds and about him getting me an ounce this weekend. That is bad because later that day I called my buddy and told him to forget about it. About a week ago my wife asked me to quit smoking and I told her I would (I actually did) but I had a moment of weakness.

I will be honest, I have lied to her about things in the past. The 2 big ones were about me not drinking anymore (I have had alcohol issues in the past) and about porn. I have never cheated on her and never would. I have never given her any reason to think I would (other than the fact that on her last snooping expedition she found spam from eharmony).

I really don't know how to react, I feel like I should be pissed but at the same time I kinda understand because I have lied in the past.

dishonesty is like a spider mite infestation on your relationship.

let the wife snoop, no such thing as husband privacy rights.

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I think most wives are going to have issues with alcohol abuse, lying and porn. Some are OK with porn, but plenty aren't and that's our prerogative.

If you actually want to handle this situation as beneficially as possible, suck it up and say you were weak, you broke down and you're sorry. Let it go that she was snooping. Obviously, it's not healthy, but living a lie isn't healthy either. If you're honest, take the high road and continue to do so, she'll trust you more and she'll stop snooping.

Yeah man, Just be honest with her... if you quit looking at porn, suddenly a month after you quit, your wife will look hotter than ever.

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Hillbilly

sry if i was snooping matthew i love you !!!

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i dunno dude...weed is something i can not live without...and i wouldnt be willing to let it go...i think your wife is a little uptight...and you shouldnt have to hide things from her...i think that she should learn to love you for who u are...and all that goes with it...weed included. and i still think women in general are just being dumb about the whole porn thing...i love watching porn...shes probably just jealous...and maybe paraniod. is there anything she does that you dont really like...but you tolerate because you love her? maybe remind her that the love is supposed to be unconditional...

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so i love how my thing says "teaching how to roll" because i cant roll worth shit! lol

shit i was dishonest with my girlfriend about weed for like a month
she never had any proof but i would always tell her iwas high after the fact
after a while she stpped caring and eventually grew to like it when i was high
now she smokes with me at least once a week
its the shit.
dont stop smoking

I thought you two were separating.

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So did I...

We did for one night. It really wasn't fesable with her not working and in having no place to go. She could stay at her mom's house and share a bed but I have a little more heart than that. She is out of school in Feb and we will have some serious conversations then. At this point I am just going with the flow (and trying to shed as much weight between now and then as I possibly can). The shitty thing is that every time we get into it she just starts talking about how shitty she is and how good I am. Its really impossible to get anything done when you say "you are/are not doing this for me and I really need you to/not to" and her reply is "I know, I am such a horrible wife and you deserve so much better, I just want you to be happy" and then starts crying.

Like I said, major changed in the works in '09.