My wife and I have been having problems for the past 3 months or so. Most of them sexual, neither of us are satisfied and I am the only one who wants to work on it. We had come to the verge of separating about 4 times and she never could actually do it and I hate seeing her cry. So late last night we go to bed and she is not "in the mood" (as usual) so I lay there for a little bit. My neck and back are killing me (fell off a roof a few years back) and I am out of bud so I figure WTF. Get up, go to my office and pulled up some "adult material", just about that time I hear someone breathing behind me. We sat and talked about it and neither of us is getting what we need (but I am the shmuck trying to figure out how to make it better). We both went back to bed (me with blue balls) and we talked a little more. My wife's mom is going out of town this weekend and her little brother and sister were going to stay with us (another long story but they are 18 and 14).

So this morning my wife decides that instead of the kids coming over here she is going to stay at her mom's house with them and then find a place to live after that. Another big problem here is that she is going to get the raw end of this deal. I make enough that if I was single I would be living the high life. Right now she does not work at all and goes to school full time, we live on my salary and have only had to dip into savings twice in about 5 months. That being said she drives a 06 model car, has a new iPhone, gets her hair done on a regular basis and I almost always break down and treat her to manicures and pedicures with extra cash I make. So even if she gets a part time gig there is no way she can afford rent, her car, her phone and food. She wants to move in with her mom (going through a divorce right now) but the second we got married her room got turned into a media room so there is literally not a bed for her. Apartment rent would eat all but about $5 of her income by itself so that is really out of the question.

I really do love the girl with all my heart and I would like to think she isn't going to screw me here (I am not going to say I KNOW she isn't because there are plenty of men out there who KNEW their wifes were faithful or honest who weren't.) So I am going to end up paying her car payment for her ($400 a month) till she gets out of school. On top of all this we borrowed a good chunk of cash (low 5 figures) for her to go to school. I know she will pay it back just because she really is a good person and has way more pride than that.

So to sum this sob story all up, we are both still very much in love but so incompatible its killing us both. We have tried counseling and my wife was very tight lipped and even more so when the guy brought up sex. At this point I do want to give the single life a try. I don't really want to date at this point but I do want to do what I want when I want and actually have some fucking cash.

it happens to the best of us Its one thing to love eachother but if you aren't in love, it makes things hard

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How old are you and the wife?

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Early 20s, sorry, just because of the nature of the board I try and keep it vague.

All I can say is every married couple (I think) goes through this. These issues can be overcome but it does take commitment from both parties. It sounds like you are willing to do the work. It sounds like your wife isn't. If she is willing to do the work then you guys have a great chance.

Lots of couples are "incompatible" but they learn to give and take and it's more than worth it in the end. However, there are times when one party simply unplugs and will not plug back in.

I always like for married couples to stay together if they actually love each other (providing there's no abuse).

Lots of couples do separate with an eye on reconciliation. For example she moves to her mom's but you're still married, but going to counseling, going on dates and starting over with each other. It helps give objectivity to both parties when they're not totally getting on each other's nerves all the time. Maybe she's willing to try that.

Hope things work out for you. You would be amazed at how good things can be after a couple works through the bad stuff.

Another thing, it sounds like your wife may benefit from counseling without you as well- maybe she could work through the sex stuff if you weren't sitting right next to her.

It was easy to see where this was headed. Maybe you two are better as friends. Maybe a separation will help you both see what's what. It sounds as though you're both "there" for each other in other ways, but not in all ways. Stay single for a while is my best advice on this one.

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Well all I can say is that I am getting a gram tonight and I am really looking forward to sitting in the middle of the living room I OWN on the couch I OWN and firing up my bong without anyone bitching at me. I will miss her companionship but I am much more of a "lone wolf" type, she NEEDS to have someone.

At this point the sex is the biggest thing. She doesn't want it really at all and doesn't see any problems with that. When we do have sex I feel like I am with a hooker checking her watch every 30 seconds and ready for this asshole to get off her.

Honestly I love her so much but her moving out doesn't bother me at all.

it sounds like that she is tired of the materialistic things in life and is looking more for a emotional romantic person now,try showering here with love and not with glory,some women like the materialistic things and some do for a while and get tired of it.

try taking here out to a picnic at a romantic spot like at a beach and get a nice bottle of wine,and just be romantic with out spending money.

try it
if you love here dearly than she might see the change she wants

also not to sound like a dick but if she is in her early 20's and denies you of sex its because she isn't in to you anymore...>She may love you dearly, thats not what im saying but sexually you dont have it going on for her anymore.....I bet you she masterbates a lot without you even knowing...Dont let women fool you

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Either that or possibly she's never had an orgasm. It's not uncommon for younger women (say in their early 20s) to only have faked it because they think it's expected.

LOL.. I know every man here is thinking "oh hell no... I know if my woman is faking it"... trust me.... no you don't

I was sexually active for 2 years before I had my first orgasm... and it was by myself . Of course once I realized first hand what all the hoopla was about there was never ever a fake again.... and if the man doesn't know what the hell he's doing then he can go the hell home and I'll take care of things myself

No matter how much I love someone... it would never be more then friendship if we weren't sexually compatible.

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