College Students, Welcome to a Lifetime of Debt!

Dankdude · #1 09-11-2007, 05:09 AM

By Barbara Ehrenreich, Barbaraehrenreich.com. Posted September 11, 2007.

Colleges and universities today are turning teenagers into full-fledged citizens of our economy by introducing them to a lifetime of debt.

Welcome to Fleece U., where our mission is to take feckless teenagers such as yourselves and turn them into full-fledged citizens of our economy, meaning, of course, debtors.

Many life-changing things will happen to you in the next four years. You will make lasting friends, including perhaps the love of your life. You will drink more than you ever thought possible and bitterly regret it in the morning. You will lose your virginity, if you happen to have brought it with you.

Our stellar faculty ardently hopes that along the way you will be amazed by calculus and charmed by the tipsy conversation between Alcibiades and that wily old radical, Socrates. There is also a general expectation that you that you will come out of here with some hazy notion of spelling and grammar.

But never forget that your real purpose here is to shake off the pointless freedom of youth and assume the burden of debt. To this end, we have just raised our tuition in an attempt to keep up with such top-of-the-line institutions as George Washington University (now weighing in at $39,210 a year, or $50,000 with room and board). You will find us also charging a plethora of additional fees -- a "student activities fee," a "technology fee," and an "incidentals fee." In addition, we will be experimenting this year with a "snow removal fee," a "lecture hall seat-use fee," and the installation of pay toilets in the dorms.

It would be short-sighted to resent these fees, since they provide valuable experience in bill-reading, and will come in handy when you confront your own personal monthly utility statements. At present we do not charge any additional tuition for this training in bill-reading, though we are considering adding a special "fee fee" in the future.

Another thing that will help ease you into the status of debtor is the price of your textbooks -- about $120 to $180 for a new, graffiti-free copy. True, this seems high when you could buy a hardcover of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows for $20 or less, but the aim is to teach you that a book is something to treasure (and, again, we charge no extra fee for this lesson.)

On average, you will graduate with a respectable-sized debt of $20,000, which will enable you to establish your all-important "credit history." If we have succeeded in our educational mission, you will be a first-rate debtor, capable of making minimum monthly payments much of the time. As fresh offers of credit cards and home equity loans pour in, you will beam with pride at your achievement.

Please note carefully that Fleece U degree cannot guarantee you a future income that will allow you to pay off your debts. Many of our most promising graduates are now, three or four years later, working for $8-12 an hour serving up lattés, counseling disturbed youth or creating business computer networks. They are set for a lifetime of debt, and we are proud that they first began to accrue it right here, on our lovely mock Oxfordian campus.

We don't have to remind you not to stigmatize debt as a condition associated with poverty. In 2006, for the first time, the average household's debt exceeded its income. By becoming a debtor, you will have entered the American mainstream! We have confidence that you will go on to mature effortlessly from college debt to car loan to mortgage to medical debts occasioned by the ever-growing gaps in coverage.

You will see the value of all this debt when the day comes, as it inevitably will, when you wake up and ask yourself, "Who am I and what am I doing here?" You will be tempted to take long walks, read the Upanishads, or try out for a new career as a trophy spouse.

In a crisis like this, you could easily spend thousands of dollars on life coaching and motivational DVDs. But you won't have to, because you'll have debt to keep you going. You will get up, shower, and toil faithfully in your cubicle year after year until, in the fullness of time, your family acquires the debt for your interment (at which point we trust you will have remembered Fleece U in your will.)

So think of debt as the great motivator. Think of it as our gift to you. Because for at least the next academic year, we are not even thinking of charging for it.

nongreenthumb · #2 09-11-2007, 05:16 AM

Here in England sutdents get incredible levels of debt, they have to pay for the courses and books and living costs to study while they train to be our medics or lawyers or whatever else. In the main however this is for one main goal, it is to get you hooked into society, getting you following that path of wife 2 kids dog 4 wheel drive plus 2 holidays a year plus all of the other illusions the governments put in place to hide the fact that life is similar to the matrix. We are all being used as batteries on some level while the machine sucks us dry of our energy and life to feed its greed.

Kant · #3 09-11-2007, 11:29 AM

hahahaha. i'm both laughing and crying. a lot of those examples of universities screwing students...not that far from the truth. for example: i payed $220 for my multi-variable calc book...USED. their buy back program bought it back for $40. My physics book $170 + $100 in lab fees. they decided to get the next edition of the book so they weren't buying them back(any they just switched to the editions last year so there were no used books).

it costs $120 to get a parking permit on my campus....or it's a 20 min walk or bus ride. room and board costs about $9000 a year for about 8 months that we'll be living in the afore mentioned rooms. that's about $1000 a month to be shoved in a 12'X16' box with another person and rats that run down the hall.

life is just so good!

medicineman · #4 09-11-2007, 01:42 PM

Aint it the truth, come hither young lads and sign up for the rest of your life. Learn how to read and asses your monthly bank statement, pay your credit card bills, and read the classified ads, the job section. Prepare to earn the equivilant of 3.00 an hour as your job has been transfered to India where after you purchase a 1800.00 Plane ticket, On credit of course, you can find your cubicle in an Indian town of your choice. Welcome to the new world order. Question: how do you compete with Indians that recieve free education to get a degree and work for 1.00-3.00 an hour, Answer, you don't, you are screwed.

Kant · #5 09-11-2007, 02:34 PM

funny story actually: I'm a CS major (computer science) and i know a guy who just came back from india. he went there because the company that heired him sent him there for "training" (shit he already knew). no expense paid but he was paid while working there. turns out after the conversion rate back to USD; he was being paid less than $4/h.

On a positive note, there is a shift happening. more jobs are shifting to china. India is still the biggest market but things are slowly changing.

actually, unless i go to grad school, my diploma will be about as useful as a toilet paper...that or i work for some small business' IT.

ViRedd · #6 09-11-2007, 02:51 PM

What I find interesting is that those on the extreme left, like the author of the above article, are quick to point out the "evil," "unearned," "inflated" salaries of CEO's of large corporations, but never point out the seven-figure salaries of university presidents and six figure salaries of the instructors. Hell, most of the tenured professors don't even teach their classes anymore.

And again, typical of the Left ... the author of the article doesn't say anything about personal responsibility. Who signs the contracts for the debts?

And lastly, who made the rule that says every kid in the nation has to attend college?

Vi

medicineman · #7 09-11-2007, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ViRedd

What I find interesting is that those on the extreme left, like the author of the above article, are quick to point out the "evil," "unearned," "inflated" salaries of CEO's of large corporations, but never point out the seven-figure salaries of university presidents and six figure salaries of the instructors. Hell, most of the tenured professors don't even teach their classes anymore.

And again, typical of the Left ... the author of the article doesn't say anything about personal responsibility. Who signs the contracts for the debts?

And lastly, who made the rule that says every kid in the nation has to attend college?

Vi

Just more left bashing. I find all people that make in excess of 100,000 dollars a year to have excessive salaries, whether they work for IBM or St. Johns College.

ViRedd · #8 09-11-2007, 04:09 PM

How did you arrive at that 100k figure, Med?

Vi

medicineman · #9 09-11-2007, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ViRedd

How did you arrive at that 100k figure, Med?

Vi

I pulled it out of my ass. After careful observance of the economics that exist in this culture, Anyone that makes over that amount is recieving excessive compensation for work performed. How much does a coal miner that risks his life every day make? How much does a soldier in Iraq make? There are certain jobs where I could see a small amount over 100K, say the president, or an Open heart surgeon maybe, But anything beyond that is just rubbing it in to the working class, the "Proletariot". A person can live extremely well on 100K a year, thats my criteria. Take your "profession" for example, 6% of a house sale is criminal. When houses were 20K, it seemed reasonable, but your criminal friends have jacked that price to 400-600K for a tract house for ,Christs sake, you sell a house and you get your share of 24-36 thousand bucks, criminal. I know you don't have a conscience, but the stupidity of the buyers and sellers that take it up the ass from you guys amazes me. I'd never pay that much to sell my house and I'd sell it within 6 wks, I'd rather take 6% off the sales price and give the buyer a deal, or split it with him. There are many ways to sell a house without taking the ass whooping you guys lay on. In the old days, they'd of strung you up for that thievery.

ViRedd · #10 09-12-2007, 03:51 PM

Damn ... you really ARE a Communist, aren't ya Med?

Oh, and by the way, you've yet to explain how, if Realtors drove the prices of homes up, how they are now driving them down. Please explain that little tidbit, will ya? ~lol~

Vi