GOODBYE, AMERICA! IT WAS FUN WHILE IT LASTED
by Ann Coulter
February 11, 2009

It's bad enough when illiterate jurors issue damages awards in the billions of dollars because they don't grasp the difference between a million and a billion. Now it turns out the Democrats don't know the difference between a million and a trillion.

Why not make the "stimulus bill" a kazillion dollars?

All Americans who work for a living, or who plan to work for a living sometime in the next century, are about to be stuck with a trillion-dollar bill to fund yet more oppressive government bureaucracies. Or as I call it, a trillion dollars and change.

The stimulus bill isn't as bad as we had expected -- it's much worse. Instead of merely creating useless, make-work jobs digging ditches -- or "shovel-ready," in the Democrats' felicitous phrase -- the "stimulus" bill will create an endless army of government bureaucrats aggressively intervening in our lives. Instead of digging ditches, American taxpayers will be digging our own graves.

There are hundreds of examples in the 800-page "stimulus" bill, but here are just two.

First, the welfare bureaucrats are coming back.

For half a century, the welfare establishment had the bright idea to pay women to have children out of wedlock. Following the iron laws of economics -- subsidize something, you get more of it; tax it, you get less of it -- the number of children being born out of wedlock skyrocketed.

The 1996 Welfare Reform bill marked the first time any government entitlement had ever been rolled back. Despite liberal howling and foot-stomping, not subsidizing illegitimacy led, like night into day, to less illegitimacy.

Welfare recipients got jobs, as the hard-core unemployables were coaxed away from their TV sets and into the workforce. For the first time in decades, the ever-increasing illegitimacy rate stopped spiraling upward.

As proof that that welfare reform was a smashing success, a few years later, Bill Clinton started claiming full credit for the bill.

Well, that's over. The stimulus bill goes a long way toward repealing the work requirement of the 1996 Republican Welfare Reform bill and rewards states that increase their welfare caseloads by paying unwed mothers to sit home doing nothing.

Second, bureaucrats at Health and Human Services will electronically collect every citizen's complete medical records and determine appropriate medical care.

Judging by the care that the State Department took with private visa records last year, that the Ohio government took with Joe the Plumber's government records, that the Pentagon took with Linda Tripp's employment records in 1998, and that the FBI took with thousands of top secret "raw" background files in President Clinton's first term, the bright side is: We'll finally be able to find out if Bill Clinton has syphilis -- all thanks to the stimulus bill!

HHS bureaucrats will soon be empowered to overrule your doctor. Doctors who don't comply with the government's treatment protocols will be fined. That's right: Instead of your treatment being determined by your doctor, it will be settled on by some narcoleptic half-wit in Washington who couldn't get a job in the private sector.

And a brand-new set of bureaucrats in the newly created office of "National Coordinator of Health Information Technology" will be empowered to cut off treatments that merely prolong life. Sorry, Mom and Pop, Big Brother said it's time to go.

At every other workplace in the nation -- even Wal-Mart! -- workers are being laid off. But no one at any of the bloated government bureaucracies ever need fear receiving a pink slip. All 64,750 employees at the department of Health and Human Services are apparently absolutely crucial to the smooth functioning of the department.

With the stimulus bill, liberals plan to move unfirable government workers into every activity in America, where they will superintend all aspects of our lives.

Also, thanks to the stimulus bill, the private sector will gradually shrivel and die. According to the Congressional Budget Office, the cost of servicing the bill's nearly trillion-dollar debt will shrink the economy within a decade.

Robert Kennedy famously said: "There are those who look at things the way they are and ask, 'Why?' I dream of things that never were and ask, 'Why not?'"

The new liberal version is: There are those who look at things and ask, "Why on earth should the government be paying for that?" I dream of things that never were funded by the government and ask, "Why not?"

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Liberals are people that will believe anything twice.

good post..i love ANN.she drives liberals crazy with the facts.and satire.

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everything i print write or show on here is a complete and utter lie..i cant help myself i am a terminal liar..all of this shit is just fiction and made up for entertainment purposes ONLY..

I'm not a fan of Ann, but this is spot-on.

I'm wondering if a "black market" health care system will arise for those of us that enjoy our privacy... while it lasts.

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"Sometimes I actually think I'm slightly retarded in the mouth." -Doug Wilson
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I guess we'll be gettin the great works of Rush Limbaugh, and Pappa boy Oreilly next.

Exactly.

Honestly I don't want to see Coulter's lips move unless it's around my dick.

Jeez.. Did you have to involve your dick in this?????

When it makes 90% of your decisions, it's unavoidable.

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"Sometimes I actually think I'm slightly retarded in the mouth." -Doug Wilson
DIY 3 gallon DWC bubbler tutorial - Diggitydank's 2nd DWC grow

Yes, yes I did.

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"Everyone of the bastards that are out for legalizing marijuana is Jewish."-President Dick Nixon.
Technocracy, Try It!

The sooner you grow........out of that the better.

Classic example of the slippery slope argument, replete with straw-man logic as well. The fact is that more government is bad. Healthcare is already broken, has been for years. Should government get in the business of healthcare diagnosis? No. But unfortunately, that train has been coming into the station for a long, long time. When we started allowing pharmaceutical companies and private insurance companies to lobby Washington to represent their interests; the writing was already on the wall. Votes have been bought and paid for, and the corruption runs very deep on both sides of the isle.

The problem with articles like this is that they only point fingers; never offering solutions. "It was the other guy, not me! How dare he!" The fact is that people like Coulter and O'Reilly contributed just as much to the clusterfuck we find ourselves in by buying into a system which will inevitably fail. Unchecked, rampant capitalism will always result in unchecked, rampant greed making decisions at the highest level. We've been worshipping the dollar since the inception of the Federal Reserve. We put "In God We Trust" on our fucking money, how blasphemous is that?!

What this article fails to mention is the $800 billion plus stimulus package voted for by your beloved Bush Jr. Last time I checked, $800 billion is only $200 billion short of $1 trillion. So the way I see it, it is both parties' fault equally. Equal corruption on both sides. This country is heading into any abyss the likes of which it has not begun to fathom yet. Quite frankly, we deserve it. It's going to be an interesting ride. You guys keep playing the blame game and pretending that you are somehow superior to those behind the reigns now because in the end, it doesn't fucking matter. You will have accomplished nothing and the world won't remember your name. All this shit we take for granted is just temporary anyways and as such, has no real value.

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"Every generation needs a new revolution." - Thomas Jefferson
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