looking for an outsiders opinion on a cover letter applying at harborsied in Oakland

hey like it says just movied to the bay and have a good buddy that works at harbor side and wants to help me get a job there i need to have a cover letter to give them with my app. i think its okay but would love to hear from some older cats maybe someones who has owned a collective or dispensary?? be honest plz



High my name is Joshua Hayes, I've recently moved to the bay area to pursue my desire to work in the cannabis field. I am an open minded individual whos passion for cannabis started at a young age.I educated my self on cannabis and read ferociously about growing,the endocannabinoid system and the cannabis industry. Ive always used cannabis recreationaley and thankfully have never had to use it medically . But i have learned what an amazing relationship the cannabis plant really has with the human body and that in the last seventy years propaganda has clouded its true values to humanity. I worked at a local family owned retail meat market and would work directly with customers. I believe my retail experience along with a drive to spread knowledge on the relationship between cannabis and the human body would help me strive in the cannabis industry.I've never been supported by family and most friends in taking a career path in the cannabis field. I'm tired of just working for a pay check, I am eager, hopeful, and excited to learn and contribute to my passion in the cannabis field.

The cover-letter should be short and to the point. Say who you are, what you want, and why they should talk to you.

Okay, so first, there are numerous typos and misspellings. And it's "Hi" or "Hello," but definitely not "High." Paragraphs would also be nice. If these guys care about that, you're already screwed. Also, why would you have the statement, "I'm just tired of working for a pay check..." when you're applying for a job? Sentence 3 is irrelevant. Sentence four as well. Sentence 5 and the first part of 6 are okay. Sentence 7 needs to go. The first part of the last sentence needs to go, but otherwise it would be okay.

I wrote an example for you (probably could also be improved-definitely with specifics about the position and how your skills relate)

Hello Mr/Ms/Mrs HRDEPTPERSON,

My name is Joshua Hayes and I recently moved to the Bay area in order to pursue a full-time career in the medical cannabis industry. I would like you to consider me for employment with Harborside XXXX FULL COMPANY NAME as a POSITION. I believe that employment with Harborside will benefit both the company through my resourcefulness and hard work, and my professional career through knowledge, experience, and professional associations gained.

I have XX years of direct retail customer service experience in the food industry. In addition to retail sales, answering customer questions about specific products, or addressing customer issues, I provided recommendations to customers for products based upon their needs. My retail experiences, as well as with my intimate knowledge of cannabis cultivation and consumption, have prepared me for success with a team such as Harborside, as I will require minimal training and have great people skills.

I am confident that my skills, experience, and work ethic will make me a great asset as a POSITION with the Harborside team. Please feel free to contact me anytime via telephone at (XXX)XXX-XXXX, or email at [email protected].

Sincerely,

Joshua Hayes

mc130p said:

The cover-letter should be short and to the point. Say who you are, what you want, and why they should talk to you.

Okay, so first, there are numerous typos and misspellings. And it's "Hi" or "Hello," but definitely not "High." Paragraphs would also be nice. If these guys care about that, you're already screwed. Also, why would you have the statement, "I'm just tired of working for a pay check..." when you're applying for a job? Sentence 3 is irrelevant. Sentence four as well. Sentence 5 and the first part of 6 are okay. Sentence 7 needs to go. The first part of the last sentence needs to go, but otherwise it would be okay.

I wrote an example for you (probably could also be improved-definitely with specifics about the position and how your skills relate)

Hello Mr/Ms/Mrs HRDEPTPERSON,

My name is Joshua Hayes and I recently moved to the Bay area in order to pursue a full-time career in the medical cannabis industry. I would like you to consider me for employment with Harborside XXXX FULL COMPANY NAME as a POSITION. I believe that employment with Harborside will benefit both the company through my resourcefulness and hard work, and my professional career through knowledge, experience, and professional associations gained.

I have XX years of direct retail customer service experience in the food industry. In addition to retail sales, answering customer questions about specific products, or addressing customer issues, I provided recommendations to customers for products based upon their needs. My retail experiences, as well as with my intimate knowledge of cannabis cultivation and consumption, have prepared me for success with a team such as Harborside, as I will require minimal training and have great people skills.

I am confident that my skills, experience, and work ethic will make me a great asset as a POSITION with the Harborside team. Please feel free to contact me anytime via telephone at (XXX)XXX-XXXX, or email at [email protected].

Sincerely,

Joshua Hayes

Click to expand...

thanks for the input

took a few things you put and applied them looks so much better thank you!! heres the retype


Good day sir or ma,

My name is Joshua Hayes. I've recently moved to the bay area to pursue my passion for cannabis and my desire to work for Harborside Health Center. I have four years of direct retail customer service experience at a family ownd meat market.In addition to retail sales, i would answer customers questions about specific products, provid recommendations to customers for products based upon their needs and address customers issues.

My intimate knowledge of cannabis cultivation and consumption, have prepared me for success with a team such as Harborside Health Center, I will require minimal training and have great people skills. I believe that employment with Harborside Health Center will benefit both the company through my resourcefulness, compassion and hard work, and my professional career through knowledge, experience, and professional associations gained.

I am eager, hopeful, and excited to learn and contribute to my passion and Harborside Health Center please feel free to contacte me by phone xxxxxx or email [email protected]

Sincerely,

Joshua Hayes

yes, this is much better. I see some typos and punctuation issues, but still, great work

thanks man!! i wanna land this job so bad and really dont have a choice moved to the bay with out a job!!