I am a real 'newbie'. I've never tried to grow my own, so out of the kindness of your hearts, could somebody tell me where to begin, please!

There are a lot of newbie guides on this forum and others. But the first thing you need is a couple of good seeds. drchronic.com

The GROWFAQ is a great place to start.:

http://www.rollitup.org/view.php?pg=...ategory&id=100

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When someone asks 'Are you ticklish' it doesn't matter if you say yes or no, cause they're going to touch you. You should say something like 'I have diarrhea...and yes, I'm very ticklish' - Demetri Martin

Begin with reading the facts section's. There is so much valuable information in those treads, and they are over looked by many of us....Welcome to the show, and enjoy...There are a lot of great plp on here that will go out of there way to help you, so dont be afraid to ask a lot of questions...
Before you spend your money on quality seed, start with some good old bag seed, and you will learn alot from the mistaks you make.(trust me we all make em)

yeah read the stickies and faq's. i just started growing properly and those faq's/guides have helped lots. you can also take a look at some of the newbie grow journals to see what kind of work/equipment will be involved in the growing process.