im not sure of correct terms so please excuse if i get anything wrong.
how long after the pistillate appear do the calyx's appear? im getting worried i got a male.

think you got it the other way around. the pistils are the white hairs which come out of the calyx. the calyxs can look a little like male balls before the hairs emerge...

how longs it been, and have you got any pictures? a late opening female calyx will look kind of like a tear drop with an elongated tail. male balls are more pod shaped

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shower cubicle grow: lowryder #2 & pure thai
http://www.rollitup.org/grow-journal...le-grow-6.html

new grow: seedsman skunk, hashberry & white russian
http://www.rollitup.org/grow-journal...tml#post222036

err its been about 4 days so it would be hard to get a good pic but the calyx does look kinda tear shaped.
guess all i can do is wait... i hate waiting especially as this decides whether i have to start all over or not.

its been about 4 days since you put it into flowering. Relax then, it takes about two weeks for most plants to show thier sex. You don't have to wait to start another seedling unless you only have one light. VV