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#1
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Hey! thought i would just chill and post some free verse poetry..
feel free to comment or add in your own. My eyes are filled with regret, for somthing i will never forget. You left me in a room, with a face not happy nor bloom. I sat surprised and like a fool i didnt chase and ask you back. here it is there it lies the art of pain, we comprimised I walk the line, thick to thin the trips for you, i couldnt begin The Wall was the end your heart i was willing to defend. ~~~~~~~~ tragedy online You thought you loved me i knew better You launched your emotions only to fall I couldnt say sorry because im not better then them all ~~~~~~ Where was i? where did i go? i spaced out dawg oh shit! oh no! got work in 6 minutes no coffee on the go shit im still high! where the fucks that hoe? i woke up thinkin it was saturday to a drunken midget, lookin like al halliday The drunken midget, damn he could fight i barely woke up, and he was playin dub fight night! Ran to my car, shit left the keys motherfucker god damnit? why me! ran to the door oh shit its locked what the fuck? damn you drunken midget the drunken midget came to the door fuckin bitch god damn! what a whore he pops a joint, lights the bitch im in a hurry, i need a gun and a ditch! Chill man dont worry dont understand whats the problem i look at him, straight in the eye its fuckin sunday you damn goblem!(yes yes yes...) he looks me all wierd gives me the eye! turns on the dvr and crys he calls me a twat he calls me gay after all, today was saturday.. let me in you fag and let me god damn you hit that muthafuckin Jay! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I walked to so i can run to beat the end of fun i made it so far to break down damn..where did i go wrong? was it the beer? the drugs or just the pain of walking for 2 days you be the judge..
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everything i say or do is nothing, i am not a pot smoker, pot is a drug that is a addiction, i am just a puppet for a test that is run by duke or possibly nc state. |
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#2
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No offense but you kind of suck. Take a creative writing or poetry class of attend a poetry or creative writing workshop. if you are just doing it for the joy of expression then have fun, otherwise seek help from people who know what they are doing. Oh, and even freeverse needs some sort structure.
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#3
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your a dick..(i can be blunt and hard as well.)
If you dont have anything nice to say then refrain from posting at all.Random freeverse doesnt mean I took the time to write it out spellcheck.. But if your going to be a dumbass and critisize on structure of a freeverse check this out for size.
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everything i say or do is nothing, i am not a pot smoker, pot is a drug that is a addiction, i am just a puppet for a test that is run by duke or possibly nc state. |
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#4
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I like the last poem wh00p.
Poetry is an art that is very personal. I think if you don't have anything nice to say then don't comment at all. Its a freedom of expression in an unviolent way and I don't think anyone should be stiffled. Its not good to stifle your emotions either. You write on. |
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#5
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my favorite poster to the rescue
2pac is a good freverse writer, and i look to him as my inspiration.
__________________
everything i say or do is nothing, i am not a pot smoker, pot is a drug that is a addiction, i am just a puppet for a test that is run by duke or possibly nc state. |
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#7
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You are an untalented idiot. But like I said earlier don't plan on making a carrer out of this. If this is your way of venting or expressing yourself more power to you. All I was saying is it isn't tat good. What? You thought you would post it on here and everyone would love it because they are stoned? HAHA Take the criticism you baby.
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#8
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lol?
jesus you dont quit? the last poem was by 2pac what a untalented idiot he was eh? dont be a critic you'll get dumbfounded to easily..
__________________
everything i say or do is nothing, i am not a pot smoker, pot is a drug that is a addiction, i am just a puppet for a test that is run by duke or possibly nc state. |
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