for the past 4 years I have been a big pot head, I haven't touched any other drug, the past year I have been smoking less (unfortunately) and I started to get into philosophy and I often find myself zoning out thinking about how the world works, what happens after death, religion, space, etc

I started to become curious about LSD in hope of helping me understand why my mind randomly thinks about things, and I have decided I want to do it, but the only thing is that I'm scared I'm going to have a "bad trip" as I will be doing this by myself

a few of my uncles have schizophrenia, my mother and brother have split personality disorder (basically mood swings) but I have yet to show signs of having this, however I have suffered depression in the past year and I have had some pretty fucked up thoughts (murder.. probably from too many horror movies and books, but I would think about killing people(I would never do it), which I couldn't stop my brain from thinking, but I have erased all these thoughts in my head and now I dwell on philosophy and become more peaceful kind of LOL)

My question is, will past depression and my thoughts about murder and death completely fuck the trip and possibly bring me to a "psychosis state"
I only plan on using it once and only once

so, do you think I should do it or not?

thank you

You already know the answer man just go with what you know!!!!!!!!

If I were you, I would not do it. I think lsd has a way of bringing out under lying mental disorders, and sounds to me like your family has a long history of them. And if you're having thoughts of killing people, just out of the blue. Hmph, well I would think you might have a disorder yourself. That acid could fuck you up bro.

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you can, just try and make sure you are in a good mood. you shouldnt really have any probs unless you are depressed at the time. you dont have to do a shitload..

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"Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye."

i would say hold off lsd is not to be taken lightly i would consider mushrooms to see how your spirit responds to hallucinagens(misspelled). as far as violent thoughts i would be carefull w/ these type of drugs at all you may want to take a more spiritual path the same breakthroughs and understandings can be accomplished through meditation over a period of years without drugs.. if you have possible violent tendencies that could be dangerous for yourself and others around you it is not worth the possible repercussions.

If yer head's headed down the bottomless downward spiral of doom just say the words 'root beer float' and everything will be O.K.

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Absolutely and positively without a doubt - not. With a family history of mental illness/disorders plus the fact that you are questioning your own thoughts, taking acid is a bad idea for you. Don't take the chance. My opinion.

God damn man, who do you think you are?

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i really wouldnt listen to of half the people on the internet honestly. im not saying these people are lying, but based on what they are saying, i would say they are.. just cuz.. its the net..and not everyone has expierence..but they damn sure have opinions

drugs can be like alcohol.. especially for people who are first timers.. if you have a trusted source of lsd, i would at least try it for sure. you dont have to geek out on it for like 2 days.

i have had my share of depression, a very severe case when i was a little kid in 8th grade... and if you watch enough scary movies, or csi you are bound to have thoughts like "i bet if i killed somone i could gt away with it" and seeing the shit people kill other people for on tv.. makes many of the real things people do worth killing them for.. not saying i would.. but i see where you are comming from.

but just take this advice and you will be ok. (of course some people just cant handle drugs)

1.buddy system, try not to do it alone.
2.be in a clear state of mind, dont be unhappy/depressed/sad thoughts.
3.dont over do it.. pretty much all bad stories are from people who over do it.. kinda like ativas.. i have not done 100 hits.. but i have done enough to respect it, and use it a couple times a year. and so have many of my friends. just dont end up like activas when he "... suddenly found myself at the bottom of the carpet trying to climb out, up the fibers ... couldn't make it ... somehow ended up outside riding trees ... climb one, it springs into the air and tosses you over to the next one - so I thought ..." haha.. thats a good ass story though.. ahhh the 70's!!

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"Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye."

I don't think I'm much younger than you, and if you did HUNDREDS of hits, my friend, you fried your brain. It's small wonder you had one hell of a trip. Not criticizing, just an observation based on the friends I used to have who did the same thing.

It used to be one of my favorite drugs, and I fried all alone all the time. It was actually better that way a lot of the time, people can't fuck with you if you're alone. However, I am also very much a loner and usually prefer being by myself, and also love to get on my scoot and just go, all by myself.

So (to the original poster), here's the thing, in my opinion as someone who hasn't done hundreds of hits: It depends. It depends on YOU, it depends on the situation, it depends on the acid itself. However, you've got a history of mental illnesses that are pretty heavy duty. I have no idea what acid is like these days, but the last time I dropped in the early 90s it was mostly speedy, not much of a trip at all.

If you're gonna do it (because honestly, it's really up to you, you're responsible for yourself), then you MUST understand that YOU CONTROL YOUR MIND, not the other way around! You can control the entire trip, but it takes a strong will and a strong mind. Start small, never trip more than one day consecutively or you really will fry your brain, drink lots of fluids, and watch out for wanderlust (go on foot if you must, don't drive).

Oh, and you might REALLY enjoy watching "I (heart) Huckabee's" while you fry. Fantastic flick, funny, and just a f'ing trip all the way around. When Dustin Hoffman shows what's-his-name how everything is intertwined... hehheh, it's a trip even when you're not on anything.

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