Help me troll thieves

[UncleBuck]

so i found out who has been breaking into my greenhouse and stealing my plants.

the neighbors were over for a bonfire. we got to talking about the break ins, and the son mentioned one of his friend's facebook posts which read "stolen plants. #goodbud". it was posted by the same kid in the rastafarian hoodie who my neighbor saw gawking at my greenhouse.

well, i now have pictures, names, and addresses of the three kids involved in the thieving.

what would you do now?

first thought: knock on their door, talk to their parents.

second thought: my neighbor and i go to the police and report seeing them trespassing on my property.

third thought: elaborate troll prank that leaves them scarred for life (no bodily injuries).

so, what would you do?

 

[Fungus Gnat]

Stalk them and drive by slow while not breaking eye contact.

 

[Kaendar]

Any straight forward revenge/police reports would be too easy. Make their lives hell. Teach em a lesson so they wont ever steal again.

 

[......]

I would find a minor to beat the shit out of that kid then shove the plant stem up his ass and plant him.

 

[Hepheastus420]

Hold it over their heads.. Make them tend to your yard, wash your car, make them go up to a big dude and give him a hug (so that they'll get a swift kick in the ass.. Then turn them in.

 

[UncleBuck]

Stalk them and drive by slow while not breaking eye contact.

i like it, but it doesn't impose the psychological damage i am going for.

 

[UncleBuck]

I would find a minor to beat the shit out of that kid then shove the plant stem up his ass and plant him.

lol, i was just pondering the same. great minds...

 

[DelSlow]

Troll them.

It has to include a tranny.

Hmmm......

 

[MrFrance]

yea i'll help you troll them. what's the plan?

 

[Kaendar]

Blackmail is always good.

 

[UncleBuck]

yea i'll help you troll them. what's the plan?

no plan yet, that's why i'm asking you guys.

something along the lines of them eating their own parents a la cartman would be ideal.

but again, we have to rule out bodily injury.

 

[Fungus Gnat]

i like it, but it doesn't impose the psychological damage i am going for.

Wear a clown suit.

 

[Kaendar]

no plan yet, that's why i'm asking you guys.

something along the lines of them eating their own parents a la cartman would be ideal.

but again, we have to rule out bodily injury.

Cheese goes good in chili.

 

[UncleBuck]

Wear a clown suit.

i like where this is going.

 

[DelSlow]

Wear a clown suit.

I would be scared shitless. I hate clowns...

 

[Stickystickyganja]

Well...im not sure where you are from, BUT i got a GREAT idea. Make a fake letter printed out to that persons parents(if they are younger then 18, if not sent it to them) and make it look EXACTLY like a letter tht the government would send a person, and make it say that the individual has been in "contact" with a person who tested positive for HIV and their names could not be revealed for security reasons. and they must see a doctor as soon as possible to undergo testing.. THIS will sturr up soooooo much shit...IM talking mass scale tsunami here....

And in the mean time, ya might wanna start to set up boobie traps or something. Knowing they are young punks they will either be back, of have told other friends the location.

 

[Growman3001]

Clown suit, in clown car, with 12 friends, all in clown suits as well, all making constant eye contact...

 

[Hepheastus420]

Troll them.

It has to include a tranny.

Hmmm......

Yes.........
Get a tranny to attract the young male.. Tell the tranny to blow him. Once the kid decides to retunr the favor, he will be in for one hell of a pyscholgically damaging surprise.
Now where to find a tranny??

 

[Growman3001]

Or an ice cream truck twisted metal style...

 

[UncleBuck]

Well...im not sure where you are from, BUT i got a GREAT idea. Make a fake letter printed out to that persons parents(if they are younger then 18, if not sent it to them) and make it look EXACTLY like a letter tht the government would send a person, and make it say that the individual has been in "contact" with a person who tested positive for HIV and their names could not be revealed for security reasons. and they must see a doctor as soon as possible to undergo testing.. THIS will sturr up soooooo much shit...IM talking mass scale tsunami here....

And in the mean time, ya might wanna start to set up boobie traps or something. Knowing they are young punks they will either be back, of have told other friends the location.

oh, wow. that would be perfect, but it might get authorities involved. that's the kind of thing that could land me in hot water as well.

but A+ on the idea, just brilliant.