Getting a Card is too easy for ANYONE!!!!!!

[phreakygoat]

How the F do I get a cannabis card, I’m not dying from sickness, I’m confused… Well, you asked the right dude! It is so ridiculously easy that every stoner should have one already. Alright the first step is the initial diagnosis: do you have any recent medical issues that cause you pain, discomfort, or anxiety? if so, get a copy of your medical records (call hosp. for them), make sure its recent and legit, and this part is done…

If you don't have any condition, here's the best and easiest one to fake EVER: it's called RSI or repetetive motion stress, and it can be in your wrists (suggested) or any other joint. It comes from (for me) moving my wrists around all day in a slightly unhealthy way that eventually starts hurting. just go in to your normal doctor, say your wrists have been hurting from one of these causes(u will probly be lying, fyi): u wrk @ Starbucks, you paint a lot, construction, etc. anything that believably would slowly build up to make your wrists hurt. when the doc tests out ur wrists, just say it hurts, but not a lot (they'll think you have carpal tunnel, don’t agree to surgery lol).kiss-ass

Now that you have legit paperwork for a questionably legit symptom, make an appointment at one of the many docs listed on NORML's california website(you must check out the one you choose, see if anyone else online has used via google). I chose Medicann ($135 for visit, quick, easy, lots of locations, best thing: they give you card for verification, no need to get state issued card that i dont want to pay for) and i'v found it works 95% of the time not having the state card (@ the clubs), cause i see the state card as an extra rip-off, personally.

Now that you are waiting in the lobby of the private clinic, filling out paperwork, just make sure you know how pot could help your condition when you meet the doc. u don't need to exaggerate or lie too much (they want you to have this card), just basically say that herb relieves your PAIN, you like to use it TO REPLACE / REDUCE USE OF MEDS, etc. NOW YOU FUCKING HAVE A CLUB CARD! best day of my life was that first day i hit the club, walked out with quantity. Goin to the club is where you'll want to be the most careful, do the most research (weedrtracker.com is a great start, or yelp).
please ask with anymore questions, and my new motto is: everyone should have a card, unless they're dirt poor (<- only reason not too.) hope this helps.
Peace and Love my brothers and sisters

 

[FeRiZaJLI]

post sum pics of the bud u got

 

[phreakygoat]

good call, I will when I get a free moment. I def. don't have any nugs like your avatar

 

[MountainSmoker]

Posted this in an earlier thread...



"As a completely healthy guy who lives in California, who has obtained a med card, I assure everyone that it is possible, very easy in fact, to get a medical card. It is extremely simple, you have a basic consultation with a doctor, then you pay $100-$175 dollars (depending on location) for your medical card, which is typically only valid for one year.

Even if you sleep 14 hours a day, tell the doctor that you have insomnia. This is a foolproof excuse, as the doctor can't prove you don't have insomnia. Tell him that you've taken over the counter sleeping pills for years, and that they hardly work. Tell them cannabis works very effectively, and has no side effects.

They're really only gonna turn you down if you lie and claim to have a condition, and the doctor wants records before his approval."

 

[phreakygoat]

good points bro... I'm sure the RUI servers hold many ways to get a card, I felt like it was time for one more...
anyways, it seems most of these doctors are just waiting for an excuse to give out these cards, but there are a few that either require everything to be super legit, or they take your money (if no med. documents) and tell you to fuck off. It's good to do the research.

 

[MountainSmoker]

anyways, it seems most of these doctors are just waiting for an excuse to give out these cards, but there are a few that either require everything to be super legit, or they take your money (if no med. documents) and tell you to fuck off. It's good to do the research.

Yeah that's definitely the truth. The more info out there to help potential medical users, the better. The doctors wanna make their money too. They're also risking their professions by approving healthy people like me and you for prescriptions.

I spread the gospel to every new person I smoke with out here in CA, get a card and grow your own. If not, at least get the card to protect you from legal troubles.

I'd recommend that prospective med users call up the clinic beforehand and ask around a bit before you go in and drop money.

 

[chazel]

I wonder how immagration would react to me applying for a green card so i can apply for a 'green' card?
On another note , family members or hideous neighbourhood creatures you think you could hook a fellow up with would be much appreciated haha , on the uncomical side i find it really sad that britain still wont give medical trials a fair fuckin shot ..
Free speech is nothing if anything come from our mouths but there's such a shitty list of what we can't put back in there

 

[phreakygoat]

just wanted to say, as a side note, that I really do have mild carpal tunnel, so I am "sick", technically. It sucks that I actually have a legit reason to get a card in the end, cause my wrist hurt like a bitch...

 

[phreakygoat]

bump, old knowledge for a new peoples

 

[merahoon]

I was diagnosed with acid reflux a few months ago and have esophogitis as well. Esophogitis is casused from acid reflux after continues vomiting wearing away at the tissue between you esophogus and your stomach. Personally, I know marijuana helps the nauseous feeling and even numbs the pain from the ulcers somewhat. My question to you is, do they allow cards to people with a problem like this? Would this be a worthy claim to obtaining a card? I have chronic back pain as well but haven't been to the doctor since 2004 because they couldnt do anything about it. I do have xrays showing I am missing a vertibrae and that my discs are twisted. Think that will work?

 

[phreakygoat]

Damn! Its people like you that are truly meant to have this card, but lets look at what you've got:

The Esophagus disorder (specifically the medication that treats it) should be applicable to show medical need, but the only problem could be if the disorder or the functioning of its treating medication are fucked up by marijuana (in terms of drug interactions... such is the reason that bipolar is not legit for a card). best to ask a normal doc first on this one so you don't waste any $.

The back pain + xrays should work if it was 100% Chronic Diagnosis, bring hella paperwork, and even if its not recent enough for them, they will at that point give you a temporary 3-month scrip until you get a new screening, so this one is the winner. The whole thing they are looking for is either the replacement of a prescription drug for less side effects, or to help PAIN. mark the box "pain" on their paperwork... now you are good.

PS not all doctors require these documents, and many issues don't have to be "current", merely have some form of proof (especially chronic pain with documentation).

Please post how it goes

 

[merahoon]

I was subscribed two different medications for the esophagus problem but neither of them worked. The main one that was supposed to help was an antiacid type of pill that would keep me from feeling nauseous and throwing up, causing the ulcers to inflame and cause pain. I've tried over the counter medications as well and those didn't work. Marijuana is the only thing that has helped me relieve the nauseous feeling. I currently don't have health insurance because it's so expensive. Since I don't have insurance, I'm not able to get my back checked again. I'll probably try with the paperwork I have already and see what they say. I just don't have a ton of paperwork on my back. I kept telling my mom it was killing me and we kept going back to the doctor and they didn't know what to do. They finally did an xray and saw what the real problem was. I went once after that and then never again because they kept telling me to try and strengthen it and it did nothing. I know I didn't need to strengthen it also because I had a fairly strong back. Any different suggestions after knowing that? Or same deal?

 

[merahoon]

And not to mention, I dont want to be taking pills for medication. I would rather use what God has put on this earth for us to use and do it naturally with out all the additive and artificial bull shit that mess your body up in one way or another.

 

[phreakygoat]

Use the paperwork you've got, in your specific case you will get that shit in 5 seconds. If its not enough proof, Medicann itself can diagnose you, call them up. They are awesome

 

[phreakygoat]

And not to mention, I dont want to be taking pills for medication. I would rather use what God has put on this earth for us to use and do it naturally with out all the additive and artificial bull shit that mess your body up in one way or another.

Tell your doctor that, it's their bread and butter

 

[merahoon]

Hah yeah I know. Its unfortunate how the doctors work. Oh your heart hurts, take this. Oh this is hurting now? Ok take this too. Have you ever thought of trying to fix it or am I just going to be drugged up and fucked up? I hate the US medical system. Thanks for the info though man. Once I get some money together, I'll be giving them a call.

 

[thizzcore]

..and this is why its frowned on so much, people like you.

 

[phreakygoat]

but why are people getting a medical card for non-real physical pain so frowned upon within our community? Every human has some sort of issue that pot might help, even if its not some specific disease the doctors want. Saying that people who don't fit under these guidelines are un-ethical for getting a scrip is to say that the system our gov't has provided us is legitimately founded. sure I am helping people to get a card that "shouldn't", but the people that tell us they should not are the same oppressors that assume any individual is unable to use such a mild drug at their own will. If all you ever want is for pot to be quasi-legal, then yes, I am doing a wrong thing by undermining the system that you crave.

It's all love dude, just had to speak my mind.

 

[nugsnotguns]

can you get a card if you live in a non med state? for example, I live in KS, could i go to cali for the sole purpose of obtaining this card and its "perks?"

 

[phreakygoat]

no, the card is only valid within the borders of California. each state runs their own program, sorry bromigo