ATTENTION: Irish "Tomato" Growers!

Hello Irish “Tomato” Growers,




I'm sure this is the weirdest post ever proffered on this forum... but I'm hoping enough people will read it that I can scrounge up sufficient interest to make my experiment viable.


First off, allow me to introduce myself: I'm neither a “tomato” grower, nor a “tomato” smoker... in fact I'm a non-drinking, non-smoking science nerd who refrains from all forms of recreational drugs. I doubt I'd have much in common with any member of this forum.


However, we do enjoy somewhat overlapping interests... one of my hobbies is an interest in biologically-active and specially engineered anthropogenic soils.






Last summer I splashed out on a stock of ingredients and brewed up a batch of rhizobacteria-enriched biologically-activated soil. But lacking even one green thumb (I couldn't keep a mold alive), I decided to shared out my soil samples among the neighbouhood gardening enthusiasts.


Well it seems this latest tweaked recipe exceeded even my expectations: huge, virulent plants/flowers/vegetables; exceptionally high biomass yields and several of the greenhouse-grown varieties reached maturity months ahead of schedule (despite the late frosts).


Unfortunately, none of my neighbours had the prescience to grow a control batch in regular garden soil for comparison... and I negected to request they do so. This oversight means I have no comparative measure of the soils fertility.






This year I had hoped to recruit help for a rerun of the experiment among some of the amateur gardening/allotment groups in and around Dublin... but I've found these guys to be... well, very amateur indeed. Their dithering means its now too late in the season to plant outdoors.




So a (stoner) friend recommended I make contact with the burgeoning community of home-grow “tomato” enthusiasts, and here I am.






Realising that most successful regular “tomato” growers are somewhat secretive and cautious for legal considerations, I should probably offer the incentive of explaining exacty what benefits anthropogenic biologcally-enriched soils offer the amateur gardener:


...markedly increased growth rates (more crops per year for the indoor grower)


...shorter seed-to-maturity times (the high biological availability of nutrients increases plant BMR: basal metabolic rate)


...significantly higher biomass yields (bigger, healthier, more resilient plants): 30% extra growth is not uncommon


...exceptional phytochemical yields: especially as it relates to the more complex phytochemicals such as lycopene yields in regular tomatoes. Presumably the same applies to the various cannibinoids (THC; CBD; CBN; THVC; CBC and CBL) found in other “tomatoes”.
Organic crops grown with a suitably tailored engineered soil often boast many, many times the phytochemical yield of similar intensively grown (fertiliser) crops, sometimes twenty or more times the regular, conventional yield. Although I do not know what effect (if any) this increased yield might have on the ratio of cannibinoids.




The particular soil recipe I have devised (which I've comically nicknamed “Paydirt”) should have such myriad benefits for the amateur “tomato” grower: as it offers the seedlings many times the normal level of soil nutrients WITHOUT the threat of “nutrient burn” (there is no fertiliser added to my soil).




Interested?




What I need are a few volunteers willing to grow one or two plants in my “Paydirt” soil alongside their regular crop (which then becomes the de-facto control group I need for comparison), so long as those volunteers meet certain specific requirements:


1- GROWER COMPETENCE
REGULAR GROWERS ONLY! Only consistent growers who are both REGIMENTED and COMPETENT with a good reputation


2- COMPARITIVE CROPS
Plants grown in my “Paydirt” soil must be part of a larger regular crop (two of a crop of ten plants for example) for statistical comparison


3- PLANT ISOLATION
ALL plants must be grown in separate pots (to avoid cross-contamination that might pollute the rhizobacteria cultures)


4- ATTENTION TO DETAIL
Volunteers must be willing to follow the EXACT planting instructions supplied with the “Paydirt” soil

5- UNIFORM CONDITIONS
Volunteers must water; feed and sun ALL plants (both their reglar crop and the plants grown in my soil) using identical protocols


6- ACTIVE INGREDIENT YIELD COMPARISONS
The plants must be harvested and processed separately: for comparison of the active ingredient yields (ie: please prepare samples from both crops and report back on separate “Toke Tests”)


7- REPORTING
Volunteers must be prepared to report back their progress at regular intervals (after the first month; at maturity and after harvesting). This can be done via this thread: posted progress photos would suffice, weighing of plants or calculation of biomass is not necessary. However a final ounce tally would be helpful.


8- UNIFORM NUTRIENT DOSING
Organic growers preferred, but not required (once the same nutrient dose is used for all plants)




Other than that, I dont mind which specific techniques you use (I'm not a gardener myself), so long as ALL the plants are exposed to identical conditions then the comparison with the regular crop remains valid. That being said, once the plants grown in the “Paydirt” soil exceed the size of the regular crop they may require more water (but not more nutrients).






If this sounds like something you might be interested in then please feel free to contact me via this email address: paydirt-at-hush mail.com


I realise that this particular situation requires a modicum of discretion and I will endeavour to keep everything completely anonymous (hence the cheesey username). I won't answer any pms sent through the forum, (which may be subject to surveillence) and would prefer NOT to meet any of the volunteers in person, nor know any personal details of any volunteer. Please keep this in mind.


Samples will be delivered by means of a drop-off-and-collect arrangement.






Please also be aware that pragmatism must also impose its own restrictions. For example: I live in the Dublin area and simply can't travel huge distances to deliver samples.


Other than that my only caveat would be: NO TIMEWASTERS PLEASE!

Despite the fact that I'll be eating the cost of the ingredients for the sake of this little experiment, please consider that brewing a batch of biologically enriched soil is both a costly and labour intensive process: last years batch took two weeks to process and cost me 125 EURO PER PLANTING BAG (small bag). I dont mind being a grand down (I have enough ingredients to make eleven or so tree-bags) if I get some useable data... but I don't want to be dicked about.

Sincerely,
-PayDirt (not my real name)


PS: I'm not online very often, but if I've placed this thead in the wrong forum or broken any forum rules with this proposal then I'll abide by any actions taken by the moderators. I'll also attempt to answer any questions raised in this thread if forum members can be patient with me (bit of a technophobe).

You misunderstand.

You seem to have used the word "tomato" as a euphemism for marijuana. I just made the observation that your thread made me uneasy and it was possibly because I had smoked marijuana. It was just a joke though.

It is you that makes me uneasy.