Originally Posted by PufferJoe

a woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy her husband a birthday gift, But everything she see's is so expensive, She asks the clerk if there are any specials because she's on a budget...He say's I got these giant bullfrogs that give blowjobs but they are illegal in the states... i'll let you have one for ten bucks... she said it's a deal.
So on the way home she thinks what a great gag gift. And what if the frog really did do the dead... she wouldn't have to ever do it again So... She gives her hubby his gift, and he's skeptical at the news that it has this special gift, and he laughs it off, But...Later that night there was such a clatter comming from the kitchen the woman jumped from her bed and ran into investigate. There she found her husband and the frog reading cook books...WHAT THE HELL!!! She screamed. And her husband said if this frog can learn how to cook...your ass is gone!!!

Originally Posted by PufferJoe

This woman walks into a pet store looking for a anniversary gift and notices a Parrot on sale for 25 bucks what a steal she thinks to herself so she buy's it while checking out the clerk tells her the bird spent the last 10 years in a cat house and that he might say some pretty raunchy things...But she buy's him anyway. Once at home the bird looks around and starts to sqawk New house...New Madame...echt.The woman thinks it's funny. Later her daughters come home and the parrot looks around and say's New house...New Madame...New whores...echt. Then just about suppertime the womans husband Frank comes home. When Frank walks in the parrot cocks his head looks around and say's Hi Frank!...echt.