Guy walks into a bar and sees a sign: "Whoever can make the horse out back laugh, free drinks!" The guy goes out back and whispers in the horse's ear. By the time he comes back into the bar the horse is laughing and laughing and the guy says: "Well bartender do I get my free drinks?" The bartender says: "Sure!"
Next week, the same guys comes into the bar and sees a sign: "Whoever can make the horse out back STOP laughing, free drinks!". Once again, the guy whispers in the horse's ear and by the time he comes back into the bar the horse is crying and crying and the guy says: "Well bartender do I get my free drinks?" The bartender says: "Sure. But I'm curious. How did you make that horse laugh and then cry?"
The guy says: "First I told him my cock was bigger than his... and then I showed him."
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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
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