Ok folks here's a few more for ya.......
A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire. The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, "Let's go!"
The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically. "Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make several low-level passes."
"Why?" asked the nervous pilot.
"Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer.
"I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures."
The pilot replied, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"
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A young farm couple, Homer and Darlene, got married and just couldn't
seem to get enough lovin'. In the morning, before Homer left the house for
the fields, they made love. When Homer came back from the fields, they
made love. After supper, they made love. And again at bedtime, they made love.
The problem was their nooner: it took Homer a half hour to travel
home and another half hour to return to the fields and he just wasn't getting
enough work done.
Finally Homer asked the town doctor what to do.
"Homer," said the doctor, "just take your rifle out to the fields
with you and when you're in the mood, fire off a shot into the air. That will
be Darlene's signal to come out to you. Then you won't lose any field time."
They tried Doc's advice and it worked well for a while until one day
when Homer came back to the doctor's office. "What's wrong?" asked the
Doc., "Didn't my idea work?"
"Oh, it worked good," said Homer. "Whenever I was in the mood, I fired off a
shot like you said and Darlene'd come runnin'. We'd find a secluded place, make love,
and then she'd go back home again."
"Good, Homer. So what's the problem?" asked the Doc.
"Ah mighta trained her too good. I ain't seen her since huntin'
season started!"
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When I was born God gave me two choices....
(1).... I could either have a good memory....
OR
(2).... Be good in bed !!! .......
Sh!t !!! .
Now I forgot what I waz gunna tell ya!!!
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