I know how u feel man redfroblueiz420. As For my griefs well I have tiger stripes down my left arm im not emo o god no i am bi-polar didn't do it for the thrill or pain did it for the silence but besides that a aluminum culvert through the calf into the bone, a screwed up joint in my left ring finger because of a pneumatic staple gun i was trying to fix that they said was disabled and a ruined rotater cuff in my shoulder from 12 years of competition swimming and im still young